ShizuoOC Series
by HoneyBear1874
Summary: There was such a thing as happy accidents; Shizuo never thought he'd meet someone like her, accident or otherwise. It wasn't easy being together, but it was worth it. Mostly a series of vignettes and oneshots, but there is an overall story line.
1. Accidental

Some days, Shizuo really fucking hated his job.

That's not to say Shizuo wasn't grateful to have one in the first place. Tom was the best boss a guy could ask for and he was lucky to even get a job with his track record. Still, he couldn't believe how pathetic and low down the bums they had to collect money from were.

Like this guy, who was practically on his knees begging him and Tom to give him another week to pay back the $1,000 he had already owed them a week before.

The bastard was going on about how his girlfriend would pay him back soon; she was a prostitute who wanted to run away with him, but she owed some money to her pimp in the next town over. She'd come back soon and they would get married and settle down and live happily ever after.

" _What a load of bullshit._ " Shizuo thought with contempt.

He cut off the man's rambling. "So, you're saying you've know her for a few months and she's a hooker, and you two are gonna get hitched the minute she comes back from wherever she is?"

The man nodded quickly and looked a bit relieved; perhaps he thought Shizuo was going to take pity on him. "Yes, that's it exactly! It's true love!"

Tom sighed. "Now Shizuo, just-"

But it was too late; the man was already sent flying with one punch. He landed on the sidewalk in front of the brothel with a loud thump. Tom checked his pulse.

"I suppose he's lucky you just did that." he commented with exasperation. "Shizuo, try not to knock out the guy _before_ we get the money they owe."

Shizuo lit up a new cigarette eyeing the one he crushed on the ground. _"I've got to stop crushing the ones I'm not done smoking._ " he thought still pissed; cigarettes weren't cheap after all.

"Come on, help me lay this guy against the wall, we can't just leave him out in the open." Tom lightly kicked the guy's unconscious body; Shizuo grumbled and dragged the man by his leg. "Should we check his wallet?"

"Yeah, sure." Tom yawned.

They could only find about $500, but they decided they'd just track him down next week for the rest.

"What a moron." Shizuo grumbled as they walked away.

"You know what they say, love is blind." Tom said.

Shizuo snorted. "Love? It couldn't be more obvious she's using him. Who the hell falls in love with someone they barely know anyway? It's just not possible."

They turned a corner and headed toward an ice cream stand; Shizuo really needed something sweet to calm down. Tom got him a triple flavor cone and himself a popsicle.

"You never know." Tom said casually. "Shinra's been in love with Celty since he first saw her when he was four, right?"

"Shinra's crazy, he doesn't count." Shizuo replied; he seemed more relaxed and was focused on devouring the first scoop of ice cream on his cone.

"True, but you never really know what's going to happen." Tom licked his treat lazily. "I've met people who swear they fell in love at first sight." Tom shrugged when Shizuo grunted skeptically; Tom was no idiot, but he was more open to stuff like this. Shizuo just couldn't understand why.

"I still say it's impossible to just magically have feelings for someone you don't know a thing about." Shizuo paused in his eating. "Only a dumbass would-" he stopped. Someone pushed him from behind; he didn't fall over, but his ice cream was knocked out of his hand.

"Who the hell?!" he growled and turned around quickly to glare at the asshole.

"I'm so sorry, it was an accident! I lost my balance going down a slope." the girl explained; she was sprawled out on the ground and one of her legs was skinned.

Shizuo's face went blank as he surveyed the stranger; she wore clunky roller blades and a helmet that was slightly too big. She seemed to become less tense when he stopped glaring and struggled to regain her balance.

"Crap, I'm really not that good with these." she mumbled under her breath: she wobbled and looked like she was about to fall once more. Shizuo gripped her under her arms and raised the girl up to his eye level. Her eyes grew wide in panic and she kicked her legs a bit from where they dangled off the ground.

"Hey, I said I was sorry! Don't hurt me, please, I don't want any trouble!" she squeaked out.

"Um, Shizuo?" Tom looked on a bit anxious and worried by his employee's odd behavior; Shizuo wasn't one to hit a woman if he could help it.

But Shizuo didn't seem to even hear him; he was staring at the girl almost as if he had never seen another human being before.

The girl stopped struggling when the punch she expected didn't come; she stared back at Shizuo warily.

"Sir?" she began timidly. "Can you let me down at least?"

He seemed to snap out of his trance and slowly put her back on the ground, though he still stared at her with an air of curiosity and confusion. The girl looked quite relieved herself.

"Thank you." she noticed him still staring silently. "Sir, are you okay?"

" _I didn't think I crashed into him that hard. He seems fine, I guess…_ " she wondered worriedly; Shizuo was still looking at her as if he wasn't sure what to make of her. _"Maybe he's trying to decide whether he should yell at me? He looks a bit familiar..._ "

"Who are you?" Shizuo blurted out.

"Uh, I'm Yoshida Kyoko." she introduced herself with a small bow. "I really am sorry." Kyoko looking down nervously; she cursed noticing the ice cream cone on the pavement. "I made you drop your food. Wait here!" Kyoko took off toward the ice cream stand; before Shizuo could protest, she was back with another identical ice cream.

"Here." Kyoko handed it to Shizuo sheepishly; he felt a tingling when their fingers brushed together.

"Thanks." he said shortly; he felt edgy and nervous.

"So, what're your guys names anyway?" Kyoko asked conversationally.

Tom spoke up politely. "This charming guy here is Heiwajima Shizuo and I'm Tanaka Tom. It's nice to meet you." He inclined his head while Shizuo remained rigid. Tom was used to being Shizuo's public relations department.

"So, are you okay?" he continued. "You fell pretty hard."

Kyoko shook her head. "I'm fine, my leg just stings a bit. I'm sorry for the trouble; did I get the same kind of flavors you had Heiwajima-san?"

" _So this is Shizuo Heiwajima; he really does wear a bartender suit, I wonder why."_ she thought curiously.

Shizuo grunted and stalked off toward the stand; Kyoko's face fell and she couldn't help feel offended until Shizuo came back still holding the cone and an additional ice cream.

"Here." Shizuo held out a cold fudge bar to her, avoiding her eyes. "If you don't like it I'll get you something else."

Kyoko smiled at him feeling pleasantly surprised. "No, this is great! Thanks, you didn't have to get me anything." she ripped off the wrapper and took a large bite. Shizuo gave her a fleeting but sincere smile.

Tom felt startled at what he was seeing and his gaze shifted back and forth between Kyoko and Shizuo in slight awe.

" _I suppose it was bound to happen; about time really."_ he thought with a half grin. " _She seems nice. I hope it works out._ "

"Hey, Yoshida-chan, would you like to sit with us? We were going to eat by the park over there. You and Shizuo can talk more." Tom offered glancing pointedly at Shizuo, who whipped around to give Tom a look that practically screamed "SHUT UP".

Tom ignored him. "I was curious as to why you're rollerblading. I don't see people doing it much around here."

Kyoko shrugged. "I hadn't used them in a while, but today I just kinda felt like it."

"You should be wearing knee and elbow pads." Shizuo said louder than he intended. "And you should put a bandage on that too." he gestured to her skinned leg in a more subdued voice.

"Yeah, I should be more careful. Luckily I bumped into you Heiwajima-san." Kyoko laughed. "You know, you're nothing like the rumors say; all I ever seem to hear is how scary you are, but you seem so nice! I don't know why people say otherwise..." she wondered aloud scratching her head.

Tom prepared himself for the explosion. Shizuo hated people bringing up the rumors about him being a violent bartender, but at the moment he didn't even glare. On the contrary, he seemed quite pleased.

"Heh. Well, I don't know about that…" Shizuo trailed off dragging his foot against the pavement; Kyoko gave him a sweet smile.

"Thank you for the offer Tanaka-san, but I have to be home soon. I'll see you around, okay?" Kyoko waved and took off in the opposite direction, the quick movement blowing back her hair.

"Smells nice." Shizuo said absently.

"Huh?"

Shizuo jerked to attention. "Nothing." he said roughly. "Let's get going." he stomped off away from Tom, who chuckled quietly before following.

Shizuo still hadn't registered his melting ice cream dripping all over his hand and staining his shirt cuff.


	2. Looking Ahead

"You know, this book's description doesn't really fit you Heiwajima-san." Kyoko commented flipping a page with a little frown. Shizuo glanced at her from the corner of his eye; he sat beside her on the park bench as she read.

"What book?" he asked absently. Kyoko pouted.

"The one I was telling you about before you ran off to fight Orihara-san in the middle of our conversation."

"Sorry." he mumbled sucking on his lollipop guiltily; Kyoko hadn't outright said she didn't like him smoking, but he noticed the slight wrinkling of her pert nose and the way her lips formed a tiny frown when the smoke somehow blew in her direction.

Not that he was paying that much attention; it was a casual observation, that's all. He liked candy anyway, so it wasn't a big deal or anything.

"So, what do you mean by description?" Shizuo continued.

"Well, your star sign is Aquarius; it says in this book that you have a voyeuristic curiosity of people." Kyoko tilted her head confused. "That sounds more like Orihara-san, but he's supposed to be a Taurus…"

Shizuo crushed the candy with his teeth. "How do you know that flea's birthday?" he asked calmly as he could.

Kyoko continued to flip through the book. "He told me. He wouldn't say his exact birthday date though." she shrugged. She had run into Izaya once and he insisted on talking to her for a few minutes; they had made small talk, though Kyoko felt he was sizing her up. She figured he was just curious; he seemed to be about everyone, except Shizuo.

"Hn."

"It says here he's supposed to be calm, resourceful, and thorough. That fits, but he's definitely not easily embarrassed or slow moving. I guess it just goes to show you can't take these things too seriously." she chuckled, but the smile left her face seeing Shizuo glowering at the ground.

"Um," she tried to change the subject and flipped back to the Aquarius page. "Oh, look at this! It says when an Aquarius falls in love they expect their wife to stay home." Kyoko paused.

" _Huh, that doesn't sound like Heiwajima-san_."

"Well, they got something right." Shizuo said tossing his lollipop stick into the trash.

"What?" Kyoko wasn't sure she heard him right.

Shizuo yawned and lifted his face toward the sun's warm rays. He couldn't remember the last time he was so relaxed. "If I get married, my wife would stay home."

Kyoko's frown deepened. "You do realize that women work outside the home, right?"

"I don't care. If other husband's wives are working that's their business, but I don't want my wife having a job." he replied simply.

"What? I can't believe you'd say something like that! Women should be able to have the exact same opportunities men have, and that includes being able to work outside the home!" she said angrily. "We weren't just put on this earth to cook and clean and make babies ya know!"

"Whoa, calm down. I didn't say anything like that." Shizuo looked somewhat startled. "I'm just saying, if I get married, my wife won't have to work."

"Huh? What do you mean by that?" Kyoko's glare was more confused than outraged.

Shizuo's gaze was fixed on her seriously. "When I can control my temper better, I'll get a good paying, honest job and she won't have to worry about anything. I'll be the kind of guy who can support his family." he grinned wryly. "Besides, she'll have enough to worry about dealing with me; I'll work hard though to make her happy."

Kyoko was stunned. "You've really put a lot of thought into this huh?"

Shizuo grunted in embarrassment. "Well, I'd like to settle down someday. I just want a peaceful life with a regular job. I hate violence. I'm grateful to Tom, but I don't want to do this forever." They sat silently for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry Heiwajima-san. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions." Kyoko looked at him sadly.

"Hey, forget about it. You're one of the few people who haven't been so quick to assume shit about me." he tilted his face back toward the sky and yawned.

"Well, I wouldn't really say that."

"Hm?" Shizuo glanced at her curiously.

"I know we've only met a little while ago, but I couldn't help getting the impression you were a gentleman." Kyoko grinned. "That's why I was so surprised earlier. But you proved me right Heiwajima-san. Any girl would be lucky to marry you." she said quietly.

Shizuo didn't say anything for a moment to take in her words. "You really think so?" he asked feeling somewhat self-conscious.

"I know so."

Shizuo tapped his foot on the ground and stretched his arms. Kyoko smiled reassuringly.

"Marry me then."

Her eyes grew wide. "What!?"

"Just joking." Shizuo replied with a shrug. "Don't be so uptight."

Kyoko pouted. "Heiwajima-san you're mean."

"Yeah, yeah." he chuckled and patted her on the head, causing her blush to increase; she turned back to her book.

"Shizuo-san, look! It says you hate violence and fighting." she showed him the text happily.

Shizuo nodded. "Well, I don't, so of course it'd say-" he stopped and made a choking sound in his throat.

"What's wrong?" Kyoko asked anxiously.

"It's nothing. I have to leave to meet up with Tom in a bit." Shizuo got up from the bench. "I'll see you later Kyoko."

She blushed again. "Later." he smiled at her softly and walked away leaving her to try to control the fluttering in her stomach.

Shizuo had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning like an idiot.


	3. Care

"Dammit Heiwajima-san!" Kyoko cursed with labored breath; she ran after Shizuo as he chased Izaya in and out of the crowded sidewalks. Izaya would occasionally leap onto a building or a sign to dodge a vending machine or a parking meter; he laughed and threw insults at Shizuo carelessly, as if he was not being pursued by a man who could easily end his life.

Kyoko ran as fast as she could after them; she was so irritated! Shizuo was supposed to go with her to that new cake shop and he just ditched her in the middle of the road!

 _"I get that he hates Orihara-san but he already has plans with me dammit!"_ she thought. Kyoko wasn't sure how much longer she could follow them; she wasn't really the athletic type and her legs were getting heavier with every step. She was right behind them and decided to call out again to Shizuo.

Kyoko yelled as loud as she could. "Heiwajima-san! Get back here!"

Shizuo didn't seem to hear her, but luckily Izaya had paused and stood balancing on a street light post like an acrobat.

 _"How does he do that?"_ Kyoko wondered briefly before coming to a stop right behind Shizuo; he was seething and shaking in rage as he stared down Izaya.

"Given up Izaaayaaaa-kuuun?" he asked. Izaya smirked playfully.

"Shizu-chan better learn to control himself; what would your brother say if he saw you now?" he shook his head in mock disappointment.

Shizuo ran to the lamp post and began to rip it from the very ground; Izaya jumped and took off once more. Shizuo swung the pole like a baseball bat, ready to hit him.

He ended up knocking Kyoko over as he swung it back; she cried out in pain and skidded on the sidewalk.

Shizuo spun around hearing her scream; he stood very still and dropped the post. With a curse, he ran over to Kyoko with an even angrier look on his face.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Shizuo roared as Kyoko picked herself up unsteadily; she didn't think anything was broken, but her shoulder was throbbing from the impact and her back stung from the landing.

"Me?" Kyoko replied incredulously; he came at her and picked her up by the collar of her shirt.

"Yeah you!" Shizuo yelled; his glare was piercing and she couldn't help the shiver of fear that ran through her body.

Shizuo didn't seem to notice. "Are you stupid or something?! Why the hell did you get involved? Dammit...you shouldn't have followed me!" he shook Kyoko roughly and she held onto his hands to have something to keep from falling.

"You just left me there." Kyoko said in a trembling but nonetheless angry voice. "You shouldn't go off chasing Orihara-san and abandoning your friends when he makes one stupid comment!" she scolded more loudly.

 _"Who does he think he is getting mad at me?"_ Kyoko thought. _"He should be apologizing!"_

Shizuo spoke more calmly. "Fine, I shouldn't have lost my temper, you're right. But you shouldn't go after me when I go off like that! That was stupid! You got hurt and I wasn't even aiming for you!"

"I'm barely even hurt. I just got the wind knocked out of me and my shoulders probably bruised a bit. I'm not some weak little girl you know, I can take care of myself." Kyoko asserted; her legs were dangling from the ground and she was tempted to kick Shizuo in the leg.

 **"YOU AREN'T LIKE ME!"** Shizuo screamed. "This time maybe you're okay now, but what if I had accidentally thrown a sign at you or punched you or something?"

"I'm fine though! It was just an accident; I know you'd never intentionally hurt me." Kyoko reasoned desperately; she couldn't understand why he was getting so mad at her. Shizuo gritted his teeth in frustration.

"That doesn't matter, if you were ever hurt because of me-" he stopped abruptly; whatever he wanted to say next was caught in his throat. His whole body was trembling.

Kyoko had never seen him look so upset. _"He was worried. Heiwajima…"_

"Thank you for worrying about me Heiwajima-san." Kyoko smiled tenderly; she could feel her anger melt away and her heart skip a beat at his expression.

Shizuo frowned and lifted her up until he was carrying her bridal style. "I'll take you to Shinra. He can make sure you don't have any serious injuries."

Kyoko couldn't help blushing. "Come on Heiwajima-san, put me down! I'm fine really, I don't need-"

"Shut up." Shizuo ordered calmly. "You're going to play it safe and see that nut doctor if I have to drag you there."

"At least let me walk." Kyoko rolled her eyes; secretly she didn't want him to let go, but it was too embarrassing being that close to him.

"Nope."

"Ugh, fine." Kyoko conceded leaning into him to get comfortable. "Thank you." she mumbled. Shizuo grunted and adjusted his hold on her.

"You know, I didn't hurt my legs." Kyoko added looking a bit confused.

Shizuo turned his face away from her affectionate gaze with a slight blush.

"Yeah, I know…"


	4. How Do I Reach You?

"Orihara-san, please make this quick."

Izaya pouted. "I thought you were friendly."

Kyoko looked around paranoid. "If Heiwajima-san sees you around here, he'll flip. What is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"I don't like being rushed, but I suppose I can make this brief." Izaya sipped at his drink; he had bumped into Kyoko and insisted he take her out to eat. There was something he wanted to discuss with her, and he made sure he'd have a chance to do so.

Kyoko sighed. "I'm sorry Orihara-san; I just hate seeing you guys fighting. I know it's none of my business, but I…" Izaya didn't say anything and waited for her to choose her words.

"It kind of scares me seeing Heiwajima-san like that. I know he's a good person, (Izaya held back a sneer for appearances sake) but he doesn't even seem like the same guy when he gets angry." her expression was so concerned, Izaya was taken off guard; who cares about monsters like that?

He laughed derisively. "That brings us to our topic of discussion; you see I'm quite curious about humans and how they think. It's why I operate in a city full of them!" he gestured out the window at the dozens of people walking to and from their destinations. Kyoko nodded in understanding, although she didn't see where he was going with this.

"Anyway, I have to admit, I'm particularly curious about you." Izaya smiled and Kyoko tilted her head.

"What do you mean?" Kyoko asked; after all, she had barely even spoken to him before today. "What are you curious about?"

Izaya continued to smile pleasantly. "Tell me, do you love Shizu-chan?"

Kyoko's jaw dropped. "What? No!" Izaya laughed at her expression heartily; she frowned and slumped slightly in her chair.

"It's not that funny. I mean I only met Heiwajima-san a couple of months ago. What makes you think I love him?"

Izaya shrugged carelessly. "Nothing really. I just wanted to see his reaction when he heard it from you himself."

Kyoko stared at him. "What?"

Izaya jerked his head to the entrance located next to their table. Kyoko had turned her head just in time to see the door slam shut; the glass was shattered and the door hung from the frame.

Kyoko stared horrified at Izaya. "You...you knew he was coming?"

Izaya nodded. "I made sure he was. His reaction was most interesting; usually I find him so boring." he sighed and gave her a long suffering smile; she glared at him and dashed out of the restaurant after Shizuo.

"Heiwajima-san!" she yelled; people were staring quite blatantly at her. She ran as if a murderer was chasing her. Kyoko couldn't care less; she needed to find Shizuo, to explain to him...

Kyoko could just barely see him racing ahead of her; he knocked down trash cans and signs that took up his path and plowed through crowds of startled people. Kyoko chased him for some time, but he was getting farther and farther away with every second.

"Heiwajima-san, stop!" she couldn't keep running like this; he was too fast and could probably run for miles. Kyoko collapsed on the sidewalk breathing harshly; her sides burned and her eyes stung.

"Please…" Kyoko whispered knowing he couldn't hear her; she got up after a moment and began walking. She had to find him, but where could he be? She didn't know where Shizuo lived or where any of his friends were and she could hardly stand from exhaustion.

Kyoko wandered around looking for any sign of where he had gone, scanning the crowds, but it was no use. She caught sight of the park they had visited together a few times; she walked over to a bench and sat down trying to calm her breathing.

 _"Why was he running way? Did I really insult him that much?"_ Kyoko wondered as tears escaped her eyes. _"I didn't mean to hurt his feelings._ _What should I do?"_ But she had no answers and it made her panic that much more.

Kyoko didn't know how long she sat there crying and feeling miserable for herself and Shizuo, but she knew she'd have to leave soon; it was getting dark and it wasn't safe in this area after a certain time. She couldn't go home now though; she had to find him.

"Hey, you shouldn't be out here this late."

Tears still streaming down her face, Kyoko looked up; Shizuo stood in front of her with an oddly blank expression.

"Heiwajima-san…?"

Shizuo grunted. "What're you even doing out here when it's-hey!"

Kyoko had pounced and began punching him in the chest with a frustrated cry. "You bastard! Why am I here? Is that all you have to say?!"

"Calm down! Look, I'm sorry I ran away, but-" Kyoko didn't let him finish.

"I've been wandering around this stupid city forever trying to find you! I know it sounded bad back there, but you didn't even let me explain myself!" she shrieked with one last punch to the gut. Shizuo stood there barely feeling her hits; it was as though someone was throwing paper balls at him, but he was sure she knew that already.

 _"She was looking for me this whole time?"_ he felt touched; still, it couldn't get rid of the pit in his stomach.

"You don't have to explain anything." Shizuo told her quietly. "I already knew anyway, you don't have to spare my feelings."

"But I do love you!"

Shizuo's cigarette fell from his mouth; he could only stare at her dumbfounded. After a long pause, he took her by the arms.

"You love me?" he asked staring her squarely in the eyes.

"Of course I do! I couldn't tell Orihara-san that though, he'd never let you hear the end of it. At least, I thought that's what he'd do." Kyoko explained; she was jerked away from her thoughts as Shizuo leaned in closer. He stared down at her with an unfathomable expression and used his fingers to wipe away her tears.

"I made you cry. I'm sorry." Shizuo looked down, ashamed and angry with himself; all this time he had no reason to be upset. Kyoko smiled at him and sighed.

"I know this may be a bit soon, but I do love you Heiwajima-san." she blushed and gave him another hug.

"I feel like I've known you much longer than a few months; you've become my best friend."

"Yoshida, I- wait, what?" Shizuo pulled back and stared down at her.

Kyoko smiled up at him feeling relieved to have just come out with the truth. "You're the best friend I've ever had. I hope you consider me a friend too." she looked up at him somewhat anxiously.

"Yeah, we're friends…." Shizuo tried his best to smile back; he turned away and motioned for her to follow. Kyoko trotted next to him trying to keep up.

"You're so tall Heiwajima-san, I have to jog to walk next to you!" she giggled. Shizuo nodded stiffly, his expression wooden.

Kyoko looked at him with concern. "Are you okay?"

What could he say? How could he even begin to tell her? How would she understand that he thought she had meant something else entirely? She seemed so happy now and he couldn't spoil it for her.

How could he bring himself to say it, even if he could? It was true she was his friend, it was true he cared about her and he was sorry for making her cry and he wanted to tear Izaya to shreds for what he had put them both through. It was more than that though; how could he tell her his real feelings, feelings he was just beginning to understand himself?

How could he tell her how her smile made his shitty day seem perfect or when she was sad he could feel his heart breaking?

How could he express how he felt a pull whenever they were in close proximity like this; how could he mention that, while he got goosebumps when he heard her address him, it was his deepest wish that she would use his given name?

How the fuck could he look her in the eye and tell her that he had been feeling this way since the moment he saw her? To explain how he was scared and confused and shocked and happy, happier than he had been for a long time, how could he let her know? There was so much to tell and too much at stake and Shizuo didn't want to have Kyoko's smile fall from her face because he couldn't control himself. Still there had to be some way…

 _"How will these feelings reach you?"_

Kyoko continued to stare up at him; Shizuo was silent they whole way to her house and now they were there and Kyoko was worried she had said something else to upset him.

Suddenly, he smiled down at her softly; it made her sad somehow.

"I'm okay Yoshida. Call me Heiwajima-kun, okay? We are friends after all." he patted her head affectionately.

"Okay!" Kyoko beamed at him; she couldn't shake the feeling something was off, but she wouldn't press the issue. Kyoko was just happy they were okay again.

"Oh, here, do you have a cell phone?" Kyoko pulled out hers and searched for her number. Shizuo pulled out his own with raised eyebrows; she took it and put in her number and added his to her contacts list.

"Let's make plans to see each other soon, okay?" she said handing it back to him; Shizuo grunted lightly and nodded before walking away. Kyoko laughed at his stand offish behavior and went inside her house feeling incredibly happy.

Before she went to bed Kyoko took out her phone and stared at the screen showing Shizuo's number; it made her giggly and she wanted to hug the phone to her.

After all, it wasn't everyday she had her crush's number for herself.

 _"He said for me to call him Heiwajima-kun!"_ Kyoko thought giddily as she turned off her lamp. " _Maybe this is a good start; at least he didn't hear that I had a crush_ _on him. Orihara-san would've had a field day with that one."_ Kyoko thought relieved she hadn't let that slip at least.

 _"And Heiwajima-kun thinks I'm oblivious!"_

Shizuo wandered around Ikebukuro that night. It wasn't like anyone would pick a fight with him; especially not when he was staring at his phone with an uncharacteristically goofy face.

People tried hard not to stare; they were edging even farther from him than usual. He was mumbling nonsense to himself.

"Should I message tonight? No, later…..a good morning? Maybe I should use "chan"…Kyoko…"

Shizuo was oblivious to the frightened stares that night; he felt like he could take on anything the world could throw at him.

This was a good. It wasn't what he hoped, but it was a start and it was good; maybe they could go farther from there.

All he had to do now was calm down, wash his hair, kill Izaya, get his check from Tom deposited, and then he would start planning his and Kyoko's trip to that new cake shop she wanted to visit.

They could meet halfway.


	5. Misunderstandings

"Are you okay Heiwajima-kun?" Kyoko asked through a mouthful of cake.

Shizuo nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." He took a sip of milk and began eating his own pastry.

" _This is just fucking awkward."_ He stuffed cake into his mouth trying to look casual. " _I shouldn't have agreed to this, who am I kidding?"_

It didn't help that the cake shop was hosting at least five or seven other couples.

" _Not that we're a couple…"_ Shizuo reminded himself. It was so irritating watching these cutesy couples feeding each other and giggling over how in love they were. Why the hell did he even agree to come to a place traditional for a date?

Kyoko cut a bit of chocolate cake with her fork and held it out to Shizuo with a innocent smile. "Here Heiwajima-kun; taste this, it so yummy!"

He took a bite from her fork and tried to calm down his heart rate. " _I love these kinds of places."_

"Good, right?" Kyoko sighed and took another bite from her cake. "It's so rich and fluffy!"

Shizuo took the strawberry off of his cake and tossed it to Kyoko; she caught it in her mouth and grinned.

"You know you shouldn't eat so much cake; you might gain weight." Shizuo commented with a teasing smile.

" _Isn't that just the pot calling the kettle black."_ Kyoko smiled wryly; she knew Shizuo was just joking, but still…

She looked down at herself contemplatively. "Hm, do I look like I've gained a lot of weight?"

"You look good. Women always worry about stuff like that when they don't need to." Shizuo assured her gruffly; he wanted to smack himself.

" _Does she think I'm an asshole now?"_ He wondered as he stuffed cake into his mouth; he studied Kyoko's expression. She didn't seem very concerned, but maybe she just didn't want to show how hurt her feelings really were.

" _Wait she's blushing; shit, I embarrassed her."_ Kyoko was in fact looking down at her cake with pink cheeks.

She felt her palms get clammy. " _He thinks I look good? Did he really mean that?"_

Shizuo cursed himself and tried to think of a different topic of discussion. " _If I just keep my mouth shut, maybe this won't be a complete disaster. No, that'll make it worse. Think of something normal to say dammit."_

He cleared his throat slightly. "So, Kyoko, what kind of music do you like?"

" _Good job. Everyone likes music."_ He congratulated himself seeing her perk up at the question.

"A bit of everything really. I love rock music, but I also like poppy, upbeat songs, you know?" Kyoko smiled enthusiastically. "What about you Heiwajima-kun?"

"Hm, I like jazz and some pop." Shizuo replied. "Usually I like slower songs, stuff I can relax to while I listen."

Kyoko giggled. "I figured. What about movies? I know you don't like horror movies, but which kind do you like?"

Shizuo thought for a moment as he chewed his cake. "Well," he answered. "I guess science fiction is okay. Mysteries, maybe action movies. Comedies are good too."

Kyoko nodded. "I'm dying to see the new Yuhei Hanejima movie; it's another sequel to that vampire movie!" She smiled feeling positively giddy at the thought of Yuhei Hanejima reprising his role as the handsome Carmilla Saizou.

Shizuo paused his eating. "So...you're a fan?"

Kyoko nodded. "He's such an amazing actor, and hot too! I heard he was coming to Ikebukuro for the movie premiere; maybe I can get his autograph, or at least see him in person!"

Kyoko's smile fell a bit noticing Shizuo's expression; he was staring at his cake like it had insulted his mother.

" _ **Damn you Kasuka….."**_ He knew Kasuka was popular, but it looked like Kyoko had some kind of crush on him.

"Heiwajima-kun….?" Kyoko asked timidly; he was starting to freak her out.

Shizuo couldn't hear her in his fight to repress his rage. " _My little brother of all people."_ he growled lowly and bent the fork he was holding.

" _Maybe it was something I said."_ She thought worriedly. " _Am I talking too much? Maybe I'm annoying him…"_

"Hey, I'm sorry if I'm talking so much Heiwajima-kun." Kyoko tried to smile sheepishly. "I know I can be a bit loud."

Shizuo was startled from his thoughts; she was obviously feeling bad about something.

" _Yeah, and who's fault is that?"_ He heard a sarcastic voice ask him.

"You're not loud Kyoko." Shizuo said; he picked at the rest of his cake and spoke up with a somewhat strained voice. "If you really want to meet Yuhei Hanejima and see his movie, I could-"

"You'd go with me?" Kyoko was practically glowing. "Um, I was hoping you would actually." She looked away shyly, but pleased.

"You want me to see it with you?"

Kyoko nodded and smiled sweetly. "Of course! It wouldn't be as much fun without you, and I was hoping it could be something we could do together…" Kyoko trailed off; she hoped that she hadn't said too much, but she was just so happy!

Shizuo frowned slightly. "Do you have a crush on Yuhei Hanejima?"

"Huh?" Kyoko tilted her head confused. "I mean, he's really cute and everything, but overall, he's not really my type."

"What is your type?" Shizuo was almost afraid to ask.

Kyoko considered the question. "I guess I like tall guys…" she put a finger to her chin. "Nice guys I guess; just normal, everyday kind of guys."

"Nice?"

"Yeah; you know, considerate and sweet. Someone I can just depend on and feel comfortable around."

" _Guys like you Shizuo."_ Kyoko wished she could be more confident; she was going crazy not being able to tell Shizuo how she really felt. " _I'm being stupid; we're friends, that's all."_

"Kyoko, what do you think of me?"

"W-what!?"

Kyoko's outburst caused a couple to look over at them startled; she smiled apologetically and turned back to Shizuo with a heavy blush.

"What do you mean?" She asked trying to avoid his eyes.

Shizuo grunted and folded his arms over his chest. "Just what I said. What do you think of me?"

"Well, I enjoy hanging out with you; you're pretty short tempered, but you're also funny." Kyoko smiled slightly. "You can be stubborn and lazy, but you have admirable resolve."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. "Resolve?"

"To try harder; you always try to do better, even when things don't go your way." Kyoko shrugged her shoulders.

"...I see."

They sat in silence for a few minutes just eating the rest of their cake.

"Heiwajima-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"You know…" Kyoko could feel her heart beating out of her chest; the sound was deafening and she wondered how no one else could hear it. "You're a really nice guy."

Shizuo adjusted his sunglasses and raised his drink to his lips.

"Well...then why don't you go out with me?"

Kyoko looked up at him; she searched his face with wide eyes. He wasn't looking at her directly and his ears were tinged red at the tips.

She beamed at him. "Are you asking me out?"

"Yeah…"

"I'd love to, um Shizuo." Kyoko blushed and grinned. "I really like you."

Shizuo smiled softly. "I like you too; it's why I've been putting up with you this long."

Kyoko giggled. "So, was this our first date?"

"Hell no." Shizuo frowned. "I'm taking you out on a proper first date later. This doesn't count."

"Okay."

They left the cake shop hand in hand.

"Shizuo, can we go see the Yuhei Hanejima movie for our first date?" Kyoko looked up at him and batted her eyelashes playfully.

"...No."

"Huh?! Why noooot?" Kyoko whined with a pout.

"I'm not going to lose you to another guy before we even become official." Shizuo said gripping her hand.

When he loosened his grip, Kyoko just held on tighter.


	6. Something Else

"Why do I have to watch this? You know I don't like violence." Shizuo grumbled stuffing popcorn into his mouth.

Kyoko pouted beside him. "You promised."

Shizuo frowned. "Well, I didn't know you'd be making me watch a snuff film."

" _Halloween_ is not a snuff film; there isn't even any fake blood used." she retorted rolling her eyes. "And you can't celebrate Halloween without watching the classics; you liked _It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown_." Kyoko reminded him.

"Well, sure; no one was going around stabbing the shit out of Charlie Brown. Can't we watch another nice Halloween movie?"

"Noooo we have to watch at least a couple scary ones!" Kyoko whined; the movie had ended. She got up to put in a new DVD. "Tell you what, you can pick the next one, whichever one you want! After that, we go back to the terror!"

Shizuo thought for a moment and ate some more popcorn. "How about _The Phantom of the Opera_?"

Kyoko grinned. "Oh that's a good one! Robert Englund is the best and he looks so creepy! I love that Red Death costume, it's one of my favorite scenes and-"

"Not that one." Shizuo interrupted with a disgusted expression. "The one with the singing, I want to watch that one."

"Huh?" Kyoko's face fell. "That one's not scary." she scratched her head in confusion.

Shizuo shrugged defensively. "I like that one. Besides people die in it, isn't that scary?"

Kyoko sighed impatiently. "Shizuo-san, that's not a scary movie at all; it's a romantic musical. I mean yeah, there's death, but it's not very scary or gory or anything."

"You said I could pick the next movie and I want to watch that one."

"Oh alright." Kyoko popped the disc into the DVD player grudgingly. "I'm a bit surprised; I definitely wouldn't peg you as a musical fan." she commented casually. Shizuo shrugged again as she sat down next to him on the couch. He tried to not notice how he felt a pull where their shoulders nearly touched.

"It's a good movie even if the endings shitty, you know?" he explained lightly. Kyoko looked somewhat puzzled.

"What do you mean?" she asked gazing up at him curiously; Shizuo shoveled some candy into his mouth; he wasn't sure how to explain it to her.

He swallowed hard and gathered his thoughts. "Well, I don't know….the ending always gets to me. The phantom was a monster, but I think he deserved to be with Christine." he coughed nervously. "I mean, at the end he was left all alone and I think it should've ended differently." he finished looking back to the TV.

Kyoko felt her heart clench; she wasn't surprised that Shizuo could relate to a character who was isolated from people and it made her sad. " _Shizuo, you're not going to end up alone. Not if I can help it."_

She wanted to tell him so, but she knew he'd just get self-conscious; instead Kyoko smiled softly. "I thought it was a sad ending too. It was too bad things didn't work out for him; everyone deserves happiness." she chuckled. "It really is a tear jerker."

Shizuo relaxed and nodded stiffly. "We can watch something else."

"No, no. It's your turn. We'll watch something happy afterward so we don't get too depressed." she smiled reassuringly.

"I don't really care that much what we watch, as long as-" he stopped and ducked his head, his fists clenched. _"Dammit, I need to shut up."_

"As long as we have snacks?" Kyoko supplied with a teasing smile. Shizuo took a deep breath and turned to her resolutely.

"As long as I'm watching it with you, I'm fine."

Kyoko blushed; Shizuo's stare was steady and she looked down at her lap with a shy smile.

"Okay then."

It was past midnight by the time the movie ended.

"Oh my god that's so sad!" Kyoko wiped her face with tissues she had acquired half way through the movie; Shizuo smiled wryly and patted her head.

"Crybaby." he teased.

Kyoko pouted and batted his hand away. "Am not! And you should comfort a lady when she's upset." she added sulking.

Shizuo looked down at her blankly and seemed lost in thought.

She glanced sideways at him with a frown. "What? Is my nose running again?"

He clutched her face to his chest, wrapped his other arm around Kyoko's waist, and pulled her against him tightly. She could feel his chin rested on top of her head.

"Shizu-" "You told me to comfort you."

Kyoko smiled broadly despite her rising blush. "Yeah, guess I did."

Shizuo pulled back and let her go. "Want to watch another movie?" Kyoko nodded enthusiastically. "Let's watch _The Ring_! It's scary, but they don't use gore and blood."

"Sure."

Kyoko got up to put in the new disc but she was having some difficulty doing so; Shizuo was still clinging to her; she looked back at him puzzled.

"This movie scared me when I was a kid." he said shortly.

Kyoko patted his head with a playful smirk. "You know, you could totally beat the shit out of a little dead girl." she tried to sound soothing but had to hold her breath a bit to keep from bursting into laughter.

Shizuo grunted and buried his face into her hair trying to hide his blush. "Just fucking hold me."

"Sure."


	7. Coincidences

"Um, sir?" Kyoko asked timidly; she briefly questioned whether approaching a stranger was such a good idea.

He just looked so sad, sitting there on the ground; it was pouring rain outside and he was taking shelter under the building's roof. Kyoko had seen plenty of people doing the same thing, but this man looked incredibly peculiar; he was wearing huge sunglasses, a shabby scarf and coat, and a floppy hat.

Kyoko spoke up again when he gave no reply. "Sir, are you okay?"

The man looked up. "Yes."

"I'm sorry to bother you…" Kyoko fidgeted awkwardly. "You just look troubled."

" _Ugh, what am I doing?"_ She wondered as the man stared at her; she felt so embarrassed, she could've kicked herself right there. " _Even if he's not doing well, he probably doesn't want a stranger bugging him."_

The man was still looking up at her; Kyoko wished she could see his eyes behind his shades. She had no idea what he was thinking, and she was getting ready to just speed walk away.

"Thank you for your concern." He said softly. "Would you like to sit down?" He gestured to the spot next to him; Kyoko sat down next to him and smiled slightly.

"How long have you been out here in the rain?" Kyoko asked taking note of his soggy jacket and hair.

"Not very long."

There was a brief silence before Kyoko spoke up again. "I don't mean to pry, but are you okay?"

The man was staring straight ahead. "Yes."

After a pause he turned his head to her slightly. "I suppose I do feel a bit down today though."

Kyoko wouldn't be able to tell from his bland tone; still, there was something melancholy about him and she felt bad for this strange man.

"Is it something you'd like to talk about? I'm not the best at advice, but I think I'm a good listener." She shrugged.

"I guess I'm just a bit worried about my brother." He said slowly. "He's been acting very strange lately. He's always had a bit of a temper, but he seems to get defensive whenever I ask how he's been doing."

Kyoko cocked her head to the side. "Hm, that does sound strange. What do you you mean by defensive?"

"Well, he sort of gets paranoid, like he's hiding something." The man explained. "He seems to be more self conscious."

"Self conscious? Like he's worried you're spying on him?"

"No, it's more like he's a bit concerned about his appearance. Also, he's been checking his phone a lot." The man's tone didn't imply concern, but Kyoko could tell he was.

"I suppose it's really none of my business." The man said looking down slightly. "He is my older brother, and he's been doing much better lately. It's just…" He paused.

Kyoko smiled kindly. "You can't help being worried still."

The man nodded, his hat sliding lower over his head. "Yes."

"I can't say I know what might be going on with your brother, but whatever happens, it looks like he can count on you." Kyoko smiled; this man was so sweet, worrying for his family. "Just knowing he has someone like you in his life must make him very happy. I'm sure whatever's going on, he'll let you know at some point."

He barely smiled. "Thank you. You're a very kind person."

"Not really, I mean," Kyoko fumbled. "I couldn't have kept walking on seeing someone looking sad." She flushed and the man's smile grew by a fraction.

"Oh, the rain stopped." Kyoko said as she looked up; the clouds were still covering the sky, but at least she'd be able to walk home without getting soaked.

"It has." The man commented. "Oh, there's my brother. He's running late." He turned to Kyoko who was staring wide eyed at him. "Would you like to say hello?"

"Uh….."

"Kasuka, sorry, have you been waiting long?" Shizuo approached them; he lowered his umbrella with a disconcerted expression as he spotted Kyoko.

"Kyoko? What're you doing here?!"

"Hey, don't yell at me!" She scolded. "I was just talking to this guy and-"

"Wait." She looked back and forth between Shizuo and Kasuka. "This is your older brother?"

Kasuka nodded as he took off his sunglasses. "Yeah."

Kyoko gasped lightly; Shizuo seethed.

"Kasuka, put your damn glasses back on."

"You're Yuhei Hanejima." Kyoko said quietly.

Kasuka nodded.

"Shizuo, this is your little brother?!" Kyoko stared up at him open mouthed.

Shizuo nodded stiffly.

She turned back to Kasuka with a wide grin. "It's so nice to finally meet you! Shizuo's told me so much about you, I mean, except for being a famous actor and all." She glanced at Shizuo with a pout.

"What's your name?" Kasuka asked.

"My name is Kyoko Yoshida." She bowed in greeting. "I hope I wasn't bothering you earlier Hewajima-kun."

"Why did you call him that?" Shizuo asked with a slightly accusing tone. "You called me Heiwajima-san when we first met."

"I don't mind Yoshida-san." Kasuka piped up. "You are my senior I presume."

Kyoko nodded. "I'm just a bit older than you. Please, call me Kyoko"

"Okay, Kyoko."

"Wait, how long have you guys known each other?" Shizuo asked with a frown.

"I just met her today." Kasuka said. "She stopped to ask if I was okay. Thank you again for your concern Kyoko, it's nice to know my brother's girlfriend is such a good person."

Shizuo blushed. "Don't just assume things like that!"

Kyoko looked up at Shizuo. "You don't want me to be your girlfriend?"

"No, that's not what I meant!" Shizuo amended. "I mean, we don't have to make it official yet if you don't want to."

Kyoko took his hand. "Don't be silly, of course I do."

"Oh. Good."

Kauska cleared his throat. "Shizuo, I'll call you later okay? I should get going, I still have to meet up with my manager in half an hour."

He turned to Kyoko. "Please take care of my brother." He walked away with a small wave.

Shizuo waved back. "Hey, Kyoko?"

"What's up?"

"What did you guys talk about?"

Kyoko looked at him puzzled. "You. He said you seemed to be acting a bit strange lately, like you've been checking your phone and being more aware about your appearance."

Shizuo tensed. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah," Kyoko said. "Now that I think about it, I never see you doing that stuff."

Shizuo shrugged and felt his palms get sweaty; this was getting embarrassing, but a lot of things went over Kyoko's head, so maybe she wouldn't make the connection.

"Shizuo." Kyoko smiled slyly. "You don't have a girlfriend do you?"

" _Damn."_ Shizuo shuffled his feet a bit as she grinned at him.

"Don't be embarrassed!" She leaned against him. "I think it's cute." She added quietly with a blush. "On days when you're really busy, I can't help checking my phone…if it takes a long time for you to answer a text, I can't help worrying a bit."

"Come on, let's go home." Shizuo tugged on her hand urgently.

"Huh? Why?" He was practically jogging as he dragged her along; he turned back to grin at her blushing face.

"I don't want to kiss you with people watching."


	8. Progress

When he had returned to Kyoko after chasing Izaya for only 15 minutes, Shizuo expected her to be proud of how had managed to rein in his temper.

Instead, he was met with a very irritated girlfriend; Kyoko was glaring murderously at him with her hands on her hips. He briefly wondered whether she had moved from the spot at all since he had left.

"Um, sorry Kyoko." Shizuo mumbled. "I got back pretty quickly though, didn't I...?"

Kyoko's glare didn't soften. "Shizuo, why did I say I wanted to stop by this street?"

Shizuo thought for a moment. "Cause...you wanted to get a coffee?"

"Yes, but where from?"

"A vending machine?" Shizuo supplied; he could see where this was going.

"Right." Kyoko said through gritted teeth. "I really needed that coffee from that vending machine you just threw, which by the way, didn't even manage to hit Orihara-san."

Shizuo shuffled his feet and replied defensively. "Can't we just get one from another machine?"

Kyoko smiled widely. "Oh yeah, we could!"

"Good, let's do that." Shizuo smiled back still somewhat nervous; he was about to walk away before Kyoko's cutting voice spoke up again.

"That is, we could, but that was the only vending machine for miles that has my favorite almond vanilla flavored coffee with caramel!" Kyoko said her eyes narrowing once more.

"Oh." Shizuo said uncertainly. "I didn't know that…"

"Shizuo, couldn't you have thrown anything else? I've been up all night catching up on my project and all I wanted was to go out with you and have my favorite coffee."

Shizuo started to glare himself before his expression turned to one of guilt; he sat down on the curb of the sidewalk and hung his head.

Kyoko sighed. "Shizuo…"

He didn't look up.

"Look, I know you can't control your temper that well." Kyoko said gently as she sat down next to him. "I'm just upset. That was my favorite coffee, but I'll get over it. It's only coffee."

Shizuo shook his head with an angry frown. "It's not just that. I'm disappointed in myself, not just for ruining our date. I want to go a day without getting pissed off."

Kyoko looked at him sadly and took his hand in hers. "Hey, don't do that. You're getting better with your self control. It hasn't been easy, but you are doing it. Until you do, I won't leave your side."

Shizuo looked at her with panic. "Wait, so you're going to leave me once you know I'm okay?"

"What? No, that's not what I meant!" Kyoko said. "I just meant-"

"Gotcha." Shizuo smiled softly; he leaned down and kissed Kyoko on the forehead.

"Shizuo!" Kyoko couldn't help laughing. "Come on, let's continue our day out."

"We'll go anywhere you want to go." Shizuo said firmly.

Kyoko paused in thought. "Hm. How about…..the cake shop where we had our unofficial date?"

"Sounds good." Shizuo got up and pulled Kyoko with him. "But first, let's go find that vending machine."

"Huh?" Kyoko asked confused as he dragged her along with him in the opposite direction. "Why?"

"I broke that thing." Shizuo shrugged. "Someone's gotta clean up all those coffee cans lying around when it busted open. Unless you want to get cake first?"

"Coffee. Now."

Kyoko was suddenly the one dragging Shizuo along at top speed.


	9. Confession

"Hey, Kyoko?"

Shizuo could feel himself sweating slightly through his shirt; Kyoko was looking up at him curiously, completely unaware of his intentions.

 _"Is this a good time to ask her?"_ Shizuo thought. " _No, we've been together for a while now. I want to do this, I'm ready. I need to know she is though."_

"What's up?" Kyoko said.

"I was thinking." Shizuo began uncertainly; he shifted where he lay on the couch and she shifted along with him. Shizuo moved so suddenly, Kyoko almost fell off of him.

"Shit, sorry." Shizuo said as Kyoko giggled.

"Don't worry about it." Kyoko replied. "What was your question?"

Shizuo gulped. "Well, I was just wondering…"

"Yeah?"

"I mean, if you're ready, I really wanted to…" Shizuo inwardly cringed at his hesitancy. He hoped Kyoko wasn't going to be weirded out.

Kyoko giggled in amusement. "You're so cute. Come on, just tell me."

"Do you think I could meet your parents?" Shizuo blurted out.

"You...want to meet my parents?" Kyoko asked blankly.

Shizuo nodded. "I think it's only proper. We don't have to right now or anything, but I think I should meet them sometime soon."

Suddenly, Kyoko was the one looking nervous. She got up from where she was laying on Shizuo and sat upright on the other end of the couch. Shizuo sat up and stared at her; he tried to push down the growing feeling of dread.

 _"Shit. Is it too soon?_ " Shizuo wondered as he studied Kyoko's face. She was gazing down at her hands. She didn't seem to know what to say.

"Hey, don't worry about it." Shizuo tried to assure her. "If you're not ready for that yet, it can wait."

"No, it's not that Shizuo." Kyoko said; her voice was somewhat unsteady.

Shizuo looked at her in confusion before it hit him.

"Oh. I see..." Shizuo felt his heart drop into his stomach. "You don't want them to know about me, don't you?"

Kyoko turned to face him with a slightly panicked expression. "No, that's not it at all!"

Shizuo frowned once more. "I don't get it. Why don't you want me to meet your parents?"

"I'm really sorry." Kyoko said in a small voice. "It's not that I don't want you to meet them. It's just that...I haven't even spoken to them in a very long time."

"What do you mean?"

Kyoko bit her lip slightly. "Shizuo, you know how I'm going to school right? To be a vet?"

"Yeah." Shizuo was getting a bit frustrated; where was she going with this?

"I love animals." Kyoko smiled slightly. "I always wanted to help sick animals; it's a simple reason, but it's true.

"My parents are both doctors in neuroscience, among other things. When I told them I had planned to take classes to be a veterinarian, they disowned me. They think it's a wasteful career choice" Kyoko's words held no anger or even sadness.

In fact, her tone was light, as if she were discussing what she had seen on TV that morning; the only way Shizuo could see she was bothered was by how she picked at her nails and the way her voice was higher than usual.

Kyoko shrugged. "I got offered a job after I'm done with classes this month. My parents said they would pay my rent until then; they don't want people to talk."

"If things were different, I'd love to have a family to show you off to and invite you over for holidays and be grandparents to any children we might have." Kyoko sighed lightly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I wasn't sure how to even bring it up, you know? I was almost hoping they would somehow change their minds and call me their daughter again before the subject was brought up."

Kyoko gazed up into Shizuo's oddly blank face; she felt a twinge of fear.

 _"Should I have told him?"_ Kyoko wondered anxiously. _"What if he does something crazy? I don't want him to start hunting anyone down."_

Before Kyoko could worry any more, Shizuo began smiling.

The he began laughing. Loudly.

"Shizuo?" Kyoko asked quietly; was he so pissed he had gone temporarily insane?

"Don't hate me Kyoko." Shizuo stopped laughing but he still had a small smile on his face; he took off his sunglasses and cleaned them briefly before putting them back on with a sigh.

"This will sound horrible, but the truth is, I'm relieved." Shizuo said. "You don't know how worried-no, terrified I was that you were ashamed of me, that you would've been embarrassed to introduce me to your folks."

Kyoko gasped as Shizuo hugged her; he had to work really hard to not accidentally snap her spine while still holding her tightly.

"I'm sorry. I don't know if there's anything I can do about your parents." Shizuo voice was almost soothing, even though it held a hint of his rage. "You'll just have to become a part of my family."

"Huh?" Kyoko pulled back from Shizuo to give him a questioning look; she was pretty surprised, but also very proud. Shizuo hadn't gone storming off in search of the offending people who invoked his anger.

Shizuo let her go and took her hands in his.

"Let's get married."

Kyoko's face paled. "Huh?!"

"I mean it." Shizuo continued with a light blush. "You've already met my family. If the circumstances were different, I'd ask your father for permission."

Kyoko held Shizuo hands tightly in hers. "Shizuo, I can't say yes to you."

"I figured." Shizuo replied; it seemed like he had already prepared himself. "Is it too soon for you?"

"Well, yes." Kyoko admitted. "I love you, but I think that's going a bit fast. It's barely been a year."

Shizuo's face grew deadly serious. "If I tell you something, will you promise not to hate me?"

Kyoko nodded. "Of course not."

"Remember the day we met? How you knocked into me, and made me drop my ice cream?"

Kyoko smiled sheepishly at the memory. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

Shizuo waved off her apology. "I never told you, but that day I think I fell."

"No you didn't." Kyoko said. "I just knocked down your ice cream; you barely budged."

Shizuo looked at her with fond exasperation. "That's not what I meant you airhead. I fell in love with you."

"Seriously?" Kyoko asked; her cheeks were a bright red and she couldn't help grinning goofily.

"Yeah." Shizuo shrugged. "I know it sounds crazy, but my feelings haven't changed. I'll wait until you're ready to marry me."

Kyoko launched herself at Shizuo; she felt tears come to her eyes.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me." Shizuo grunted; he rested his chin on her shoulder. "I'm a pretty shitty boyfriend to be more relieved than angry after what you just told me."

"It's okay Shizuo, I know what you meant." Kyoko replied. "I'm not too broken up about it myself. I was just a way for them to continue their "legacy". I don't think they ever really wanted children."

Kyoko smiled brightly. "You'll be a great father someday and your parents would make the best grandma and grandpa ever! Oh, and Kasuka and Ruri will be the best uncle and aunt!"

Shizuo chuckled in amusement. "Already talking about kids? Now who's going too fast?"

"You started it."

Epilogue:

"So," Shizuo asked Kyoko calmly as they ate dinner. "Your parents live around here?"

"Shizuo. No."

"Okay, okay."


	10. Anything for Her

**Author's Note: This chapter has some mature and darker subject matter; nothing too graphic, just some sexual content and violence. Since it's a fic with Shizuo, I'm sure it's not that surprising.**

As tired as he felt, Shizuo just couldn't go to sleep.

He stiffened as Kyoko shifted next to him, her hair tangled and spread out on the pillow; he was worried she might have been cold without pajamas, but he couldn't bring himself to cover her with the blanket.

 _"I never really got the chance to just look at her when we were-"_ Even in his thoughts Shizuo wasn't able to outright say it.

That night they had sex; they were each other's firsts and as nervous as Kyoko was, she had smiled and guided him. Shizuo only knew enough of sex to be safe and to avoid hurting her, but it was enough; when he had fumbled, she was patient and when he did something she liked…

Shizuo bit his lip.

He wanted to keep himself under control. He had been so paranoid about hurting her, scared he would get too rough and she would cry and he would never forgive himself.

It took Shizuo a lot of effort to keep control with his emotions running high; when he came inside her, he collapsed and his limbs were trembling slightly from the strain of holding back.

Kyoko had held him close to her and laughed happily. Her fingers running through his hair, her scent, the warmth of her body; it was pure bliss, more than he had ever thought he would feel. She had kissed him and not long after she had fallen asleep.

He was scared still, but now it was for a completely different reason; maybe freaked the fuck out was a better term.

Shizuo had been up hours after Kyoko had fallen asleep. He didn't want to go to sleep and wake up to find her gone. What if this was all a dream, something he made up in his head? What if the moment he fell asleep, she would disappear?

 _"No, that's just stupid."_ Shizuo chided himself. _"Kyoko would never do something like that."_

Besides, that was only part of his growing fear. He had learned something about himself tonight and the revelation made him gawk at his own thoughts.

Shizuo sighed lightly and carefully reached out to trace his fingers on Kyoko's bare stomach. Checking her face for any signs of stirring, Shizuo slowly lowered his ear to her stomach and smiled a bit.

He would never do anything to hurt Kyoko. He'd never do anything without her consent. Even so, it didn't mean he didn't want something she may not have been ready to give him.

In short, he wished he could have gotten her pregnant.

 _"Would the baby be a boy or a girl?"_ Shizuo wondered idly; he was kind of leaning towards a girl, one as compassionate and beautiful as her mother. Hopefully any child of theirs wouldn't inherit his power. Shizuo had never heard of anyone else in his family having his…"condition".

Kyoko snored loudly once before her breathing became steady again. Shizuo went back to his side of the bed quickly. Paranoid thoughts raced through his head: Was she awake this whole time? Did she know what he was thinking? How could she?

Shizuo shook his head and laid back down on his side. _"One things for sure, I'd be screwed if she could."_

Kyoko would surely despise him if he knew the thoughts running through his head.

Shizuo had been careful with her earlier, she took birth control and he used a condom. He made sure she was comfy, that she was wet and ready for him. He didn't move until she said it was okay, and even then he went almost painfully slow until Kyoko's moans and pleading eyes had made him unconsciously speed up.

 _"So soft."_

It had been his first and really only coherent thought; the rest of the time his mind had been clouded, focused only on restraining himself and reveling in Kyoko's warmth and the gentle smile she would give him when he was feeling unsure. She had held onto him the whole time, reassuring him, comforting him, as if she was worried he would be in any pain.

It had been perfect; a bit awkward, a slow process, and they were both tired afterward, but they were happy. They had laughed a little afterward and Shizuo had never remembered being so relaxed.

Kyoko gave his hand a squeeze before falling asleep. "I hope we'll always be together."

 _"What if we aren't?"_ Shizuo thought; his eyes were fixed on Kyoko's face. _"What if you change your mind?"_

The very thought made him tear his pillow in half from frustration, his teeth clenched tightly together to prevent a scream of fury. He looked at her quickly to see if she had heard.

 _"If she had my baby, she'd have to stay with me."_ Shizuo thought involuntarily. He imagined Kyoko with a round belly and; he would wait on her and get her food for cravings, and hold her hair back when she got sick, and massage her back when it ached from carrying their child. The thoughts brought a smile to his face, yet, it was as if those they were coming from someone else's mind. _"She'd need me, wouldn't she? We'd be connected, the baby would be part of both of us."_

They had grown closer tonight, but it just wasn't enough to make him worry free.

It wouldn't be hard to do. Just a tiny rip in the condom, just a prick from a needle maybe. It'd look like an accident and she'd never know…

 _"I'm fucking despicable."_

Shizuo rolled over slowly and scooted closer to Kyoko, wishing he could wake her up and be comforted with kind words and praise to make him believe he was as good a person as she believed him to be, and nothing would ever come between them.

It's not like he would actually go through with it, but the thought was there and faintly tempting, and Shizuo was left disgusted.

 _"I can't think like this. Kyoko, I promise I won't betray you. I love you too much to pull some shit like that."_

Shizuo reached out and played with a bit of her hair; was it really so wrong though? He just wanted to be with her. If they did end up having a kid, he would be there. He hoped he would be the kind of father his kids would be proud of.

And Kyoko wanted kids someday. Shizuo knew this, and was happy, even if he'd have to wait. He just wished he could get rid of the violent thoughts he had been having.

When she was moaning and whimpering for him, was she thinking about someone else? Of course not. Shizuo didn't know what he'd do if it was some how true.

Would she ever get tired of him? Would she stop loving him? Would there be a day when she couldn't deal with the violence and decided the best thing was for them to separate?

Shizuo didn't know what he'd do in that case either. He didn't want to think about it, the measures he would go to make sure she wouldn't leave, to make sure no one would ever come between them.

There sure were a lot of messed up couples in Ikebukuro. Even Celty was somehow in love with Shinra; how they let a guy like him walk the streets was a mystery to Shizuo. Then there was that guy and his girlfriend, who he barely knew shit about. They thought she had Celty's head or something, but Shizuo was more pissed about him not knowing anything about the girl he supposedly loved. Yeah, there was a lot of fucked up people in this city, now that Shizuo really thought about it.

He supposed he couldn't say anything though, with how he was thinking. He just couldn't stand the idea of Kyoko being taken away from him. Was that really so wrong? He just loved her, so it was normal, right?

Shizuo began gently tracing his fingers over Kyoko's exposed hip; his smile was a mixture of childish glee and pure viciousness.

 _"So help me god I will smash their fucking skull into the nearest wall."_

Shizuo admired the softness of her skin; so soft and pretty and warm under his touch. He could hardly believe it, his first woman and she loved him.

 _"I should rip both of their hands off for good measure. Rip, burn, mutilate, crush, kill, kill, kill, kill, rip, tear, crush, kill! That will teach them to touch her. Just to show I'm not an unreasonable guy, I might let them keep their dick. "_

Shizuo looked at Kyoko's face, making sure she was truly asleep. His fingers went between her slightly parted legs and he carefully moved them around, watching her face closely as he slipped one inside. She was still a bit wet; he could feel himself grow hard as he gently pumped his finger in and out of her.

"No one else but me." Shizuo whispered.

Kyoko let out a tiny gasp, so quiet Shizuo had to strain his ears to hear.

It was nearly morning, and even with no sleep for the last 30 hours, Shizuo was wide awake.

"S-Shizuo?"

 _"Shit."_ Shizuo could feel his blood run cold, but he didn't move his hand.

Kyoko was still only half awake. "Shizuo? What's going on?"

"Good morning." Shizuo leaned in and kissed her chastely.

"Did you sleep at all?" Kyoko asked; she looked down and blushed lightly.

"Yeah…"

"Are you going to be waking me up like this every morning?" Kyoko's expression turned from sleepy to a coy. Shizuo felt her getting wetter around his fingers.

Shizuo couldn't help a smirking a bit. "If you don't mind."

Kyoko pulled him down on top of her with an adoring smile. "Okay then." she gently bit his ear. "Love you Shizuo."

He would do anything to make things stay the way they were.

"Love you too." Shizuo grunted as he slipped inside her.

Anything.


	11. Insecurities

"Shizuo! You forgot your lunch!"  
Kyoko walked quickly over to Shizuo and Tom as they were leaving their work building. Shizuo turned around and frowned, though his eyes softened as she drew nearer.

"I told you not to follow when me and Tom are working." Shizuo said sternly.

Kyoko rolled her eyes slightly; Shizuo was worried that she might get hurt or harassed if she was with him and Tom while they were out collecting. He had a point, but he was so adamant about it and she was a bit offended. Did he think she was completely helpless?

"I know, I know, but you have to eat something other than-oh hello."

Kyoko caught sight of a woman standing behind Shizuo and Tom; she stared at Kyoko stoically and her voice was toneless.

"Hello."

"Ah, this is Vorona. Simon knows her. She's been working with us for a couple weeks now." Shizuo explained.

Kyoko smiled at Vorona. "Hi, I'm Yoshida Kyoko. It's nice to meet you." she gave her a small bow.

Vorona inclined her head and studied Kyoko cruiously; she turned to Tom and Shizuo.

"Who is Kyoko Yoshida to Shizuo-senpai?"

Shizuo tried to fight back a small blush. "My, um, girlfriend."

Vorona turned back to Kyoko. "I see. I didn't know Shizuo-senpai had a mate. It's nice to meet you as well."

"Hey there!" a man came up to them staggering slightly.

"Drunk this early?" Tom muttered. The man walked right up to Vorona with a leer.

"Hey there." he repeated. "How much do you charge for a blow job?"

Kyoko looked over to Shizuo worriedly; he hated guys like this and she could feel his rage boiling up already. Vorona on the other hand seemed completely unfazed.

"Did you hear me?!" the man practically shouted. "I said-"

He was silenced by a swift kick to the gut; Vorona picked him up by his collar and as he gasped for breath and threw him against the brick wall. Kyoko swore she heard a cracking sound.

"Let's get out of here." Tom said casually; he turned to the stunned Kyoko. "Vorona kicks serious ass, I think she's nearly as strong as Shizuo." he chuckled. "Not to mention gorgeous."

"Yeah, and she's really smart too. Knows all this stuff I've never even heard of." Shizuo added; he was proud to have her as a junior.

He turned to Kyoko in concern. "Hey, you okay?"

Kyoko nodded. "That was amazing Vorona."

"Not really. He was weak." Vorona replied simply.

"Come on, we better get going." Shizuo said; he turned to Kyoko and patted her head gently. "I'll see you later tonight. Be careful okay?"

"You too." Kyoko grinned and waved goodbye to Tom and Vorona.

 _"Vorona."_ Kyoko thought sadly. _"She's so beautiful."_

Shizuo seemed to notice too.

 _"No. Stop that."_ Kyoko reprimanded herself. _"Vorona is just his kouhai. I don't have anything to worry about, just because she's really attractive, and smart, and strong as Shizuo and cool…"_

Kyoko sighed as she went inside her place; suddenly, the modest apartment seemed very large and empty. She flopped down on her bed; there were no classes that day and there was nothing she really wanted to do. She missed Shizuo.

 _"Why won't Shizuo let me come with them anymore?"_ Kyoko wondered. _"Sure, it's not the safest job, but I'm not really in any danger as long as he's there."_

Shizuo could take down anyone and Vorona is strong enough to add extra security; Tom would never have to worry about getting attacked with them there…

 _"Wait a minute. Shizuo asked me to stop coming a couple of weeks ago, the same time Vorona came to work with them."_ Kyoko recalled. _"It's never been a problem for me to come with until then."_

Was there something going on between Shizuo and Vorona?

Kyoko bit her lip. _"They look good together...but Shizuo isn't the kind of person who would cheat. But what if he falls for her and breaks up with me?"_

She frowned at herself. Where was all this coming from? It was just a coincidence; Vorona was just a coworker, his junior, and while Shizuo seemed to like her, there was no proof to support the feeling was anything more.

"Great. I'm getting insecure over nothing." Kyoko smiled ruefully to herself; regardless, the whole day she couldn't help ruminating over the whole situation. By the end of the day, Kyoko was in a somber mood; Shizuo had texted to say he wouldn't be able to come over, something came up with Kasuka.

She didn't get much sleep that night.

"Hey Kyoko-chan." Tom called out to her; the next morning she found herself walking by his work building on the way to have breakfast.

"Oh, morning Tom." Kyoko smiled half heartedly. "I'm on my way to eat. Did Shizuo tell you about Kasuka?"

"Yep, I gave him the day off. Apparently Kasuka caught a flu." Tom shrugged. "He's way too overprotective, won't let Kasuka so much as get up until he feels better."

They walked over to a nearby cafe and ate together in a peaceful silence; Tom had this calming demeanor that Kyoko appreciated. If not for him, who knows what Shizuo would be doing right now.

"Tom, can I ask you something?" she inquired uncertainly.

Tom looked up at her and swallowed his mouthful of food. "Sure, what's up?"

"I know this probably sounds stupid, but do you think Shizuo might like Vorona as more than a friend?"

Tom laughed. "What? No way, he's crazy about you already. You should hear him carry on about you."

Kyoko smiled; she had no idea Shizuo talked about her to others.

"I guess I just felt insecure the other day." Kyoko confessed. "Vorona seems so amazing. Someone better suited for him…"

"You can't think like that." Tom said. "If you start having those kinds of thoughts, you can end up pushing someone away due to your own fears. Trust me, he's-"

"Tom? Kyoko?"

Shizuo was standing a few feet from their table; he was looking at them incredulously with a frown.

"Hey, is Kasuka feeling better already?" Tom asked.

"Yeah." Shizuo grunted; he was staring fixedly at Kyoko.

"Kyoko, I have the day off. Let's go out today."

Without waiting for her reply, Shizuo took her arm and pulled her to his side.

"Later Tom."

"Hey, no dining and dashing!" Tom said, but they were already out the cafe before he could get the sentence out.

"Shizuo, slow down!" Kyoko said. "You're going to rip my arm off at this rate."

Shizuo stopped abruptly and looked back at her guiltily. They walked the rest of the way to Kyoko's apartment; she knew Shizuo was a man of few words, but he was oddly silent the whole way.

Kyoko locked her door and took off her shoes as they went inside. She looked up at Shizuo; he stood in front of her with his arms crossed, his gaze expectant.

"I told you not to come to work with us." Shizuo said.

Kyoko blinked. "I wasn't, me and Tom were having breakfast. He wasn't even out for a job."

"Why the hell were you guys having breakfast together anyway?" Shizuo asked gruffly; he sat down on her couch with a sulky look.

"I just ran into him." Kyoko replied staring at him bewildered. "What's the big deal? Is something else going on?"

Shizuo muttered something.

"What?" Kyoko was getting frustrated with his secrecy.

"I don't want you being alone with Tom."

Kyoko was at loss for words.

Shizuo sighed and continued quietly. "I know it sounds crazy, but what if you like Tom better than me? And what if while we're out on a job and you're with us, you get hit on by some sleaze? Do you think I'd be able to stop myself from pulverizing them?"

He scowled. "If I did that in front of you, you'd never want to look at me again."

"That's not true." Kyoko smiled sadly, "I love you for everything you are. I don't want anyone else." she sat down next to Shizuo and leaned her head against his shoulder with a half smile. "If you're that worried, I won't come with you on jobs, but I do consider Tom a friend."

Shizuo turned to her quickly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get controlling or anything."

 _"I was scared."_

"It happens to everyone." Kyoko assured him. "We just have to have faith."

"Do you really not mind my strength?" Shizuo pulled her face up to his.

"I don't." Kyoko said. "I just feel bad that it causes you so much grief. To be honest, I think it's really cool." she pecked his lips.

"Yeah?" Shizuo tried to fight back how pleased he was to hear that. Instead, he picked her up swiftly; Kyoko shrieked and laughed as he swung her around like a ragdoll.

"Shizuo!" Kyoko laughed as he grinned almost smugly.

"Kyoko." Shizuo said lowly as he held her to him as tightly as he could without crushing her.

"Huh?" Kyoko said surprised by his sudden seriousness.

"You're really mine?"

That was the most oddly romantic thing he had ever said to her.

Kyoko blushed slightly. "Yeah, I am."

Shizuo let out a breath he hadn't meant to hold.

"Good."

She giggled. "Are you really mine?"

"Yes." he said immediately.

Kyoko grinned at him cheekily. "Prove it."

Without another word he carried her up to her room.


	12. Struggles

Kyoko examined herself in the mirror and sighed for the fifteenth time.

She tried to put her hair up in a ponytail.

 _"No."_

She tried a bun, then pigtails.

 _"Hm, no."_

She tried to curl a few chunks of her hair.

 _"Eh."_

Kyoko sighed; it was just one of those days where no matter how she looked at herself, she just didn't look right.

Shizuo was glancing up from where he was dozing off on his bed. "Kyoko? You alright?"

"Uh, yeah." Kyoko smiled; she didn't think Shizuo would understand how she was feeling. Besides, he'd probably think she was being fickle.

"Am I your boyfriend or not?" Shizuo grunted. "Tell me what's wrong."

Kyoko shrugged. "I just feel a bit...off today."

"What?" Shizuo bolted up. "Are you sick? Do you feel queasy? Was I too rough earlier?"

"Shizuo calm down!" Kyoko said with a light blush. "That's not what I meant, I just...well, it's silly really." she trailed off.

Shizuo looked at her curiously and made himself calm down. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I guess I just see myself in the mirror and don't think I look good today." Kyoko said awkwardly. "I just feel like I look really plain, you know?"

"Yeah, you are." Shizuo said.

Kyoko narrowed her eyes at him. "Huh?! Geez, you're suppose to say I'm cute or something."

Shizuo looked surprised. "You are cute."

"You just said I was plain." Kyoko reminded him with a slight frown.

"That's why you're attractive." Shizuo said; he went over and picked Kyoko up, setting her down gently on the bed. "You're not flashy or anything. You're down to earth, simple, and mild. You cook good food."

Shizuo trailed a hand up and down her arm. "I feel relaxed around you. You're everything I want to be. You make me feel...normal."

He buried his face in her hair with a contented sigh. "If that's what plain means, then you're pretty damn plain."

"Shizuo." Kyoko smiled and pecked his cheeks. "That's why I love you."

"Huh?" Shizuo said confused. "I'm not normal."

Kyoko giggled. "Well, not completely, but you're a pretty mild sort of guy. You'd be the kind of guy a girl wouldn't be worried to meet her family."

"If I didn't accidentally smash anything." Shizuo muttered. "I barely have any self control."

"That's only a part of who you are though." Kyoko said. "I'm not perfect. I jump to conclusions, I don't think things through, I can be insensitive and end up missing important stuff. I'm an airhead and I can be stubborn."

"You're not weak willed." Shizuo said with a slight grin. "You're stronger than me emotionally."

He held her tightly. "I don't know what I'd do if you left me."

Kyoko looked at him in surprise. "What? Shizuo, where'd this come from?"

"It's nothing." Shizuo petted her head soothingly with a soft smile. "Don't worry about it. I won't let you go without a fight anyway."

Kyoko smiled. "Okay."

 _"Shizuo's been acting...kinda weird lately."_ Kyoko thought absently. She couldn't understand how though; Shizuo was the same as he always was, quiet, unassuming, and temperamental, but quick to calm down. He was considerate and gentle with her, almost painfully so, and Kyoko had no real complaints, other than Shizuo's lack of tact.

Kyoko studied Shizuo as he slept; he was a heavy sleeper for sure and she enjoyed seeing him so at peace.

 _"What is it?"_ Kyoko wondered as she watched Shizuo snort in his sleep; he grumbled something and then fell silent. _"I just feel like he's hiding something."_

What could it be? Was something happening at work? No, Shizuo always vented to her about that kind of stuff anyway; if anything was happening, she'd have known already. Was he depressed? No, he wasn't sulking or mopey.

 _"Is he actually worried I might leave?"_ Kyoko asked herself. _"Nah, that's ridiculous. He knows I'm happy; maybe it's just my imagination. Shizuo wouldn't worry about something like that."_

Shizuo frowned slightly and grunted in his sleep; Kyoko soothed her fingers lightly over his forehead and his frown went to a small smile.

 _"Hm, like a little kid."_ Kyoko smiled and resisted the urge to kiss him.

That one thought, that one nonchalant comment, that little inkling of an idea, made her think.

Shizuo could be very single minded, like a kid.

He could be oddly possessive and overprotective, even borderline paranoid; if Kyoko was talking with another male, Shizuo would move closer to her, looming over her as she talked. Like a menacing guard dog.

He frequently checked up on her throughout the day, which was nice, but it made Kyoko wonder if he was doing it because he loved her or because he wanted to monitor her.

 _"No, that can't be right."_ Kyoko admonished herself. _"Shizuo isn't like that at all..."_

Still, he made off sounding comments; like earlier, when he said he'd fight for her. It sounded romantic, but Kyoko couldn't help feel like he was really saying something else; his tone was firm, almost like what he really meant was that he wouldn't _let_ her go.

 _"I guess I can't say this is the first time I've noticed this."_ Kyoko admitted to herself. _"But what should I do?"_

"Kyoko?"

Shizuo blinked bleary eyes, voice groggy and soft; Kyoko smiled down at him slightly.

"Yeah?"

"Can you get me some warm milk? I'm thirsty." he mumbled as he nuzzled her hand.

Kyoko smiled; he could be so cute. "Sure thing."

"Thanks babe." Shizuo yawned and rolled over so she could get up.

Kyoko went to her kitchen and began heating up some milk; as an afterthought, she cut a slice of the cake she had bought the other day.

Shizuo woke up fully seeing the cake and milk.

"Thanks!" he dug right in and sipped his warm milk carefully; Kyoko watched him, deep in thought.

"Is everything okay?" Shizuo asked suddenly.

"Shizuo…" Kyoko began; she wasn't sure how she wanted to say it.

"I was thinking...maybe we need some space from each other."

"...what?"

"This is all happening so fast." Kyoko said carefully. "I mean, we've only known each other for a year, and for most of that time we were friends. I feel like our relationship is speeding up too rapidly." she chuckled nervously. "We might as well be married already."

"Why aren't we?"

It was Kyoko's turn to stare at him in shock. "What? Shizuo, I already told you, it's way too soon-"

"Well, why not?" Shizuo asked, his brow furrowing as he took her hand in his. "We love each other, why don't we get married? Are you ever going to say yes?"

Kyoko frowned sadly. "Shizuo, I don't know how long it'll be until I'm ready for that kind of commitment."

"Well, what about kids?" Shizuo's tone grew harsher; he couldn't understand why she was being like this all of a sudden. "Don't you want any? Don't you see any future for us? Don't you love me?!"

"Shizuo," Kyoko's lips trembled. "You're hurting me."

Shizuo pulled his hand away as if he was touching hot iron.

"I'm sorry, Kyoko, I didn't even realize-"

"Shizuo, I know, it's okay. You'd never hurt me on purpose." Kyoko said softly.

Shizuo looked down at his hand unseeing.

"Don't beat up yourself, I'm okay." Kyoko tried to smile; she sighed lightly. "I think it'd be best if we took a break. I'm just really confused, and I think you might be too."

"I'm not confused." Shizuo said firmly.

"I think we might want different things from each other. I love you, but I need some time to think."

Kyoko squeezed Shizuo's hand and slowly walked out of the room and out of his apartment.

 _"I have to think carefully about this."_ Kyoko thought as she walked home. _"Shizuo deserves someone who knows what they want. I need to figure out whether we should keep going on like this. I feel like he's too attached. Or am I not attached enough?"_

As Kyoko tried to straighten out her feelings, Shizuo was still sitting in the bed; he slowly laid back down, staring at the milk and cake on his night stand.

 _"Kyoko...dammit."_ he rolled over to the side she usually slept and buried his face into the pillow.

Shizuo bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood; he pulled out his cigarettes with shaky fingers.

 _"I screwed up…"_


	13. Finding the Strength

Kyoko couldn't say for certain when things started changing; she didn't want to notice it, didn't want to face it head on, and didn't want it to even be happening.

Maybe it started when Shizuo started texting her; not the regular texting, not the ones that said 'good morning' or 'I love you.' or 'can you pick up milk on your way home?'. Shizuo didn't even contact her that much when they first started dating.

But it didn't seem too long afterward that the texts weren't so familiar and pleasantly routine; they started to ask how she was doing or what she was doing, which were perfectly innocent. There was nothing wrong with wondering what your boy/girlfriend was doing when they were away.

This alone was okay.

Then they started becoming more frequent, sometimes three or four times a day; Kyoko thought it was sweet. Shizuo just missed her. Then there were times where she couldn't answer right away, she was busy, and the texts would come in fives or sixes, asking why she wasn't getting back to him, she was worrying him, was she trying to scare him?

Kyoko would feel slightly guilty; she would apologize and try to joke it off, and Shizuo would be content until later; but it was okay, he was just worried, a bit overprotective, but Kyoko knew Shizuo was just looking out for her. No harm done.

Maybe she could have let that all slide if it wasn't for how Shizuo got when she was talking to other men; she honestly only had a few guy friends who she knew from classes or online; she always got along better with males. Kyoko talked to them about classes, homework, jokes, etc.

 _"Who are you talking to?"_ Shizuo would ask carelessly; Kyoko would say who and ignore the way he frowned ever so slightly, the way he took a deeper drag of his cigarette.

He asked if she wouldn't mind not texting on their dates; Kyoko felt abashed, and put away her phone. It was only polite.

Then he would ask her not to text whenever they were together hanging out in his or her apartment; Kyoko agreed without much complaint. Shizuo just wanted her attention, who was she to complain? Besides, their time together was special; she could just contact them later.

 _"Kyoko, do you have to talk to other guys?"_ he had asked, his voice a bit quiet, a bit sulky; Kyoko thought it was cute that he was jealous, thought it was flattering that he cared.

 _"They're just friends."_ she laughed and snuggled up to him; he just needed her to remind him, that he was her most important person. _"I love you silly."_

All Shizuo needed was a bit more extra reassurance; Kyoko knew he had his insecurities, knew that well, and she figured all he needed was to know she was loyal, she just needed to prove it to him and eventually, he'd never feel that way again.

Kyoko smiled to herself ruefully. "I shouldn't have to do all that though. I haven't done anything to make him not trust me or feel like I'm not taking our relationship seriously."

She sighed and curled up on her bed; she never realized how difficult this would really be. She was prepared to deal with Shizuo's supernatural strength and temper.

 _"The problem we're having right now is emotional."_ Kyoko realized; what she thought was just him being overprotected was budding into controlling, caring into suspicion, and love into obligation. Kyoko didn't know if it was unintentional, but it seemed almost as if Shizuo was trying to make her feel guilty.

"No way." Kyoko said firmly. "He would never manipulate people. That's something Izaya would do, but Shizuo?"

Still, the truth was, Shizuo affection was turning into an overbearing and demanding relationship.

 _"He wasn't like that before though."_ Kyoko thought as her eyes stung. _"What should I do?"_

The sad thing is, the only person she really wanted to talk to about it was the one person she needed space from.

Shizuo was having the same thoughts as he walked with Tom.

"Hey, you sure you're okay?" Tom asked quietly; Shizuo nodded slightly.

"Yeah."

"I know this has been bothering you; you nearly killed that last guy, and he barely said anything." Tom said with a frown. "Come one man, you can talk about it."

Shizuo grunted; he felt so ashamed. It was like he was steadily losing control over himself all over again.

"I was doing better, wasn't I?" he asked no one in particular. "I feel like nothing even matters. It's like I don't even want to try anymore."

Tom sighed sadly. "You were doing better. Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Do you think things are going to be okay between the two of you?"

Shizuo frowned sadly. "I don't know."

Tom sighed once more. "Well, are you going to do anything? I saw your apartment, it's a mess. Kasuka's going to get worried if he sees it."

During the two weeks Kyoko had been gone, both Shizuo's mood and environment was slowly deteriorating. The floor of his apartment was covered in empty ramen containers, milk bottles, and snack wrappers. The ashtray by his bed was overflowing and threatened to spread out all over his nightstand.

Shizuo looked down at his wrinkled suit; he usually took such good care of them, even learning how to use a iron just so he could preserve them.

"I know Tom." Shizuo replied. "I thought everything was fine…"

"Maybe for you." Tom said; Shizuo turned to him with a glare.

"What the fuck does that mean?!"

Tom's face held no fear; he looked mildly sad. "Shizuo, when was the last time Kyoko went anywhere without you hounding her with texts or asking what she was doing?"

Shizuo tensed up and lit another cigarette.

"I see how you get when I talk to her, hell, when any guy so much as looks at her." Tom said softly. "It's not healthy man; she looks stressed."

Shizuo inhaled quickly, his fingers twitching around the cigarette.

Tom frowned in concern. "Do you really think I'd make a move on her? Aren't we friends?"

"No." Shizuo growled throwing his cigarette on the ground; he clenched his fists and took deep breaths.

Tom stood his ground. "Don't you trust her?"

"I do dammit!" Shizuo collapsed against a wall and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm fucking scared Tom. I'm a coward and she deserves better, and I'm sure it's only a matter of time until she tells me to hit the fucking road for good and then what **the fuck will I do, huh?! What the fuck happens then?!** "

Tom watched silently as Shizuo he tried to calm himself down.

"She loves you, give her more credit." Tom smiled lightly. "You're a good person Shizuo. Your only problem is you don't believe in yourself, you know?"

Tom handed Shizuo his glasses; they had fallen off his face as he wiped his eyes.

"Look, if you really love her, then work on your problems together." Tom said simply as Shizuo took back his sunglasses. "Don't sweat the small stuff."

Shizuo chuckled. "I'm a bastard."

"Nah, you're just bad at this stuff." Tom said with a teasing grin as his friend began to relax; it was the best he looked in while. "Just give her some space, try to see things from her point of view."

"She makes me feel human you know." Shizuo said with a small smile. "Like I'm not this rampaging freak. I don't want to lose that."

"You have to use your head to fight this." Tom said. "Come on, let's get something to eat."

Shizuo was grateful that Tom dropped the subject for now; he wanted to calm down and clear his head. It was like he was in a fog and now a bit of clarity was seeping through his mind.

More than anything, he wanted to see Kyoko smile again.


	14. Closer

**Author's Note: This chapter has graphic sexual content.**

"Kyoko?"

She stood outside Shizuo's front door looking at the ground.

"Hey. Can I come in?" she asked softly.

Shizuo looked at her nervously. "Um, yeah."

He slowly opened the door; his apartment was a mess and he didn't look much better.

Kyoko couldn't help staring at his hair. "Are you letting it go back to brown?"

"Uh, no." Shizuo confessed. "I keep forgetting to dye it."

Truthfully, he couldn't muster the energy to even clean his place, let alone go through the task of having to go to a store, buy hair dye, come back and actually color his hair. It was too much effort.

"Oh." Kyoko said; she fidgeted with her shirtsleeve; Shizuo stared at her..

"Shizuo, we need to talk." Kyoko said. "I'm really worried about where our relationship is going."

"I know."

Kyoko bit her lip. "It just seems like you're starting to become this person I don't even know. Wanting me to stop contacting my friends, constantly checking up on me like I was up to something. Don't you trust me at all?"

"I do." Shizuo said firmly; he took Kyoko's hands in his tightly. "I was out of line. I didn't mean to get that way, I was just scared you'd find someone else or you'd realize you were better off without me."

"What?! Shizuo I love you, I don't want to be with anyone else." Kyoko said tearfully. "I just don't want this to get to where you're trying to control me and I start resenting you and then-"

"Kyoko, that won't happen." Shizuo cut her off. "I should've talked to you about this stuff earlier. I can't promise I won't feel jealous or anything right away, but I shouldn't try to keep you from doing what you want because I'm paranoid."

He held her and sighed; he wasn't sure they would ever be this close again.

"I'm sorry I left you alone Shizuo." Kyoko began to tear up more as she leaned into his chest. "I shouldn't have, but you were kind of scaring me back there."

"Hey, forget about it. You needed your space, and you're back now right?" Shizuo almost looked worried; Kyoko nodded and wiped her eyes with a weak smile. He visibly relaxed. "I was wrong to push the issue about marriage and kids; I'd like that someday, but only if you do too. There's no reason to rush things."

"Yeah." Kyoko kissed his temple and chuckled in relief. "I really missed you."

Shizuo rubbed her back gently. "I missed you. Kyoko?"

"Hm?" she said absently.

"Can we…?" Shizuo kissed her ear before burying his face in the crook of her neck. "I really, really missed you."

Kyoko burst into laughter and grinned. "Of course."

Shizuo lifted her off the ground and dashed to his bedroom; Kyoko was giggling hysterically as he dropped her lightly on the bed.

"Somebody's eager." she said.

Shizuo chuckled softly, before laying down on the bed next to her. For a few minutes they just held each other before Shizuo's hand started to trail up and down her thigh.

"Kyoko...can we try something new?"

"Sure." Kyoko smiled kindly. "What do you have in mind?"

Shizuo gulped. "I was thinking...you could tie me to the head board."

"Really?" Kyoko asked; Shizuo was pretty conservative when it came to sex, though the image that floated through her mind was making her heart skip a beat.

"I want you to ride me while my hands are tied. I trust you." Shizuo said as his hand slipped under her skirt; he smiled nervously. "I think you'd like it too. Can we try?"

"What should I use?" Kyoko asked. "Do you have anything?"

Shizuo thought for a moment. "I have an old belt in my closet. That should work."

Kyoko kissed him sweetly and went over to his closet; she rummaged around the pile of dirty clothes (how long had it been since he did the laundry?) and found a worn belt in the corner.

"Got it!" Kyoko stopped in her tracks.

"Good." Shizuo sat on the edge of the bed, wearing only his pants.

Kyoko smiled and giggled in amusement. "You're really hot, you know that?" she climbed on to his lap and kissed him; he gripped her waist and rubbed the back of her neck.

Shizuo pulled back and pressed wet kisses against the skin that wasn't covered by her shirt; he pulled her up with him back onto the bed.

"Shizuo, you need to get me wet first." Kyoko said softly. "It'll hurt if we rush."

"Okay." Shizuo breathed as his hands reached for her shirt; he looked up at her and she nodded quickly.

"No bra today?" Shizuo asked blankly; her breasts were exposed and her nipples began to perk up from the cold air.

Kyoko shrugged and blushed. "I was feeling lazy."

Without another word Shizuo enveloped her nipple in his mouth, slowly moving his tongue around it; his hand went to her other breast, alternating between kneading and rolling the nipple in his fingers.

"Yes." Kyoko sighed; her hands grasped his shoulder tightly, her hips moving against his involuntarily. She whimpered as Shizuo gave her nipple a hard suck. "That feels so good."

Shizuo groaned and pulled away to tug at her skirt.

Kyoko pulled it off with the panties and Shizuo's fingers went to her clit.

"Ah!" Kyoko threw her head back onto the pillow; he was rubbing it directly and it felt so hot, like it was going to melt.

Shizuo listened to her cries and carefully slipped two finger inside her.

"Shit you're wet." he mumbled. "You like this?"

"Yes." Kyoko moaned as she began to grind down on his fingers. "I love it."

Shizuo inhaled sharply as Kyoko pulled him down and bit the rim of his ear.

"Kyoko." Shizuo grunted as her hand pulled at his pants; he stood up and practically ripped them off with his underwear. Kyoko crawled over to the edge of the bed and took his shaft, guiding it into her mouth gently.

Shizuo hissed. "Fuck."

Kyoko alternated between licking the slit and swirling her tongue around it. His precum dripped into her mouth and Shizuo's breath was becoming more unsteady as she sucked. After a few minutes, Shizuo put a hand on her shoulder and she let his hard shaft slip out.

Kyoko smiled up at him. "You have a condom?"

"Yeah." Shizuo took one out from his bed stand drawer.

"Careful, last time you ripped it in two."

Shizuo grinned. "Couldn't help it. I was excited."

They laid down on the bed and Shizuo carefully ripped open the packet; he pulled on the condom and moaned as Kyoko kissed his neck.

"Babe, don't leave a mark." Shizuo felt his face grow warmer as Kyoko gave a particularly hard suck on his collarbone.

"I know, I know." Kyoko teased his lips with a lick; he could taste the bitterness of his precum. He laid down beneath her and handed her the old belt.

"Shizuo." Kyoko's tone grew sober as she ran fingers through his hair. "Are you sure about this? You're not just doing this to prove you trust me, right?"

Shizuo shook his head. "I want you to, really. I've been curious and I want to be more open with you. I want you."

Kyoko smiled warmly and kissed him before securing his hands to the headboard posts, marveling at how thin he was.

 _"He's all limbs."_ Kyoko thought with idly; she hissed as she lowered herself down on his shaft.

"Go slow, okay babe?" Shizuo said gently. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."

Kyoko squeaked as she felt him inside her completely; she was sitting on his hips and began to grind against him lightly.

"Fuck!" Shizuo moaned as Kyoko started bouncing. "That's it, just like that."

He was hypnotized as her breasts moved with every thrust, the way she would toss back her hair from her face to see him better, how she tightened around him and-

 _"Fuck I can hear how wet she is."_ Shizuo moved his hips up, desperately wanting to hear the wet noises that seemed to be almost as loud as Kyoko moans and whines.

It wasn't enough though; he needed more, needed to be closer, needed to grab on to something other than the cold metal of the posts.

"Kyoko I-oh fuck!" she squeezed him hard. "I-I change my mind!" Shizuo's could hardly breath.

"About what?" Kyoko asked innocently.

"Come on don't tease me dammit." Shizuo groaned as she leaned down to nibble his ear. "Let me go, I want to touch you, okay?"

"Hm." Kyoko stopped completely and looked thoughtful; Shizuo looked up at her, fighting to not buck up into her heat.

"Kyoko…." Shizuo growled in warning.

"Well, if you're going to be so mean." Kyoko pouted. "No."

Shizuo tried to calm down and spoke nicely. "Babe, please. I'll make you feel good, okay? Come on!"

He knew he could break his bonds, but he didn't want to. Kyoko had to do it or it wouldn't be the same. He was so hard, he felt ready to explode.

"Weeeellll." Kyoko licked her lips in thought.

 _"Fucking tease. Don't do this to me Kyoko!"_ Shizuo thought groaning in frustration.

"I guess I'll untie you. But be good." Kyoko bounced as she leaned over and undid the belt. Shizuo pulled out of Kyoko and threw her down on the bed.

"Ah! Shizuo!" Kyoko squealed as he thrust back into her; Shizuo held open her thighs and watched with satisfaction as his shaft went in and out of her wet folds.

"That's what you get for goading me." Shizuo growled with a playful smile as he slowed down.

Kyoko cried out in disappointment. "Shizuo I'm sorry. Please-"

"Please what?" Shizuo smiled ferally as he leaned over to suck on her breast.

"...please fuck me." she whispered; she tightened around him and Shizuo felt something snap inside.

 _"I love you."_ Shizuo had to stretch to suck on Kyoko's now red nipple as he steadily pounded into her. _"I'll work hard to make you happy."_

"Harder please!" Kyoko moaned as he straightened up and held open her thighs; it was all he could do to keep from yelling. He didn't want anyone else to hear them, as much as he enjoyed her screams.

Kyoko's breath became more and more labored as she matched his thrusts.

"Shizuo!" Kyoko grew still as her orgasm overwhelmed her; she moved feebly against him as he continued to thrust, albeit more gently. "I love you." she purred.

Shizuo rode out his own orgasm with a shudder.

"Kyoko." he whispered as he collapsed next to her; she rolled on her side and smiled sleepily.

"Hm?" Kyoko kissed the palm of his hand; there was no where else in the world she wanted to be.

"Love you too."


	15. Spoiled

Kyoko was just studying for her final exams when Shizuo walked into her apartment, bleeding from his forehead with a couple of small cuts on his face.

"Hey babe."

"Shizuo!" Kyoko rushed over to him. "What happened?"

"This guy picked a fight, but his buddies rushed me when I wasn't paying attention." Shizuo said nonchalantly as Kyoko pressed a towel to his head to stop the bleeding. "Do you have any strawberry milk?"

"Uh, no." Kyoko said blankly. "Just regular."

"Damn. Can I have some? Beating the shit out of those guys made me thirsty."

Kyoko came back with a cold glass of milk and some cookies along with a roll of bandages and disinfectant.

"Thanks." Shizuo munched on the cookies as Kyoko gently cleaned the gash and wrapped the bandages around his head. Kyoko knew he probably couldn't even feel any pain, but she felt like she needed to be careful regardless.

"What about your face?" Kyoko asked. "Did they try to cut you?"

"Nah that was Izaya. Bastard." Shizuo said lowly; Kyoko popped another cookie in his mouth before he could sink into a dark rage.

"Here, I'll clean these too. You're lucky that gash wasn't too deep or you'd need stitches." Kyoko lightly chided. "You probably should've gone to Dr. Shinra you know."

"Please, he's not even an official doctor." Shizuo said dismissively. "Besides, I'd rather not have him blabbering on about this and that while I get patched up."

Kyoko sighed and gently cleaned the shallow cuts. "Just try to be more careful, okay? It scares me when you come home looking like a bloody mess."

Shizuo kissed her forehead. "Yeah, I hear you."

"Hey, what do you want for lunch?" Tom asked.

"Kyoko packed me a lunch." Shizuo said; they stopped at a convenience store so Tom could get a pre-made bento. The sun beamed down on them as they sat outside a cafe and Shizuo eagerly opened his own box lunch.

" _That's_ your lunch?!" Tom asked incredulously.

Shizuo frowned. "Yeah, so?"

The box was separated into three layers; the first was full of roasted vegetables and grilled salmon, the second was onigiri and an eggroll, and the third was fried shrimp and octopus sausages.

"Did she make all that?"

Shizuo smiled and nodded. "She packed me a slice of strawberry shortcake for dessert."

Tom grinned. "You are so spoiled."

"Jealous?" Shizuo eyed Tom's lunch with a mildly superior look.

"A bit." Tom conceded looking down at his bento. "I don't suppose you'd share any of that?"

Shizuo popped a crispy piece of shrimp into his mouth.

"Nope."

Shizuo knew he was perfectly capable of looking after himself. He was strong and he really didn't need anyone to watch over just wanted someone to.

Before meeting Kyoko, Shizuo hadn't fully realized how lonely he was, and had no idea how much he craved attention.

He could've easily gotten Shinra to look over his minor injuries. He didn't have to bother Kyoko with them, not to mention Shizuo could've just bought his lunch, but he just couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Kyoko would fret and worry and tend to him no matter what the problem; she would patch him up with gentle hands and a weary, but fond smile and he would get goosebumps. She'd insist on nursing him when he got a cold and stroking his hair if he wasn't able to go to sleep.

Shizuo didn't mean to take advantage of her kindness; he just liked it when she coddled him.

Kyoko didn't seem to mind; on the contrary, she seemed to enjoy coming up with new recipes for his lunches or when he crawled into her bed for comfort when he was feeling depressed.

"Kyoko." Shizuo tugged on her arm gently; they were on the couch, she reading from her textbook, him laying his head in her lap. "My head hurts."

"I bought some aspirin. It should be in the medicine cabinet." Kyoko said absently.

Shizuo frowned. "I don't like that stuff."

Kyoko looked at him curiously. "I have a cold ice pack in the freezer."

"Those are too cold."

"Shizuo." Kyoko smiled knowingly. "I need to finish this chapter."

"Just for a bit." Shizuo mumbled. "It's still pretty early in the afternoon…"

Kyoko giggled in spite of herself. "Okay, just relax."

She threaded her fingers through his hair and softly stroked; Shizuo hummed and closed his eyes in contentment.

"So, did you eat the veggies I packed?" Kyoko asked after a minute.

Shizuo seemed to have fallen asleep all of a sudden.

"Shizuo!"


	16. Your Body is a Wonderland

"Hey Kyoko." Shizuo called out and walked into the familiar apartment nonchalantly.

"Huh. Where is she?" Shizuo went over to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of milk from the fridge; Kyoko always made sure to keep it stocked. He went down the hall and opened her bedroom door; he frowned.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

Kyoko was sitting on her bed next to a grinning Erika; Walker spun idly in the desk chair and waved to Shizuo casually. Shizuo stared.

Kyoko gave him a sweet smile. "Welcome home! Erika was just lending me a DVD."

Erika nodded enthusiastically. "Do you like this show too Shizu-chan!?"

Shizuo glared at the nickname, but tried to be civil for Kyoko's sake; he would've preferred she didn't hang out with two otaku gang members. He was worried they'd scare her, but she seemed to like them.

"What show?"

"Oh, Shizuo wouldn't be interested in this." Kyoko said quickly; she reached to take the DVD, but Erika pulled it from her reach with a sneaky smile. "It's a sports anime, he might like it."

Shizuo caught the DVD case as it was tossed to him and looked at it skeptically; on the front was a picture of four guys in swimsuits standing in front of a pool.

"It's about swimming?" Shizuo asked; Kyoko looked a bit embarrassed.

"Yep, it follows the trials of a high school swim team!" Erika gushed. "They must learn to work together to succeed and make amends with a long lost childhood tsundere friend!"

"They just like it for the fanservice, there's barely even a substantial plot and only one cute girl! She never even wears a swimsuit! It's criminal!" Walker supplied as he spun faster and faster in the chair; he stopped and shook his head with a lazy smile. "Erika went crazy when she heard they were doing a second season."

"Kyoko and I just have an appreciation for the animated male body, there's no shame in that! Right Kyoko?!" Erika declared.

Kyoko tried to fight off the heat rising to her cheeks at Shizuo's scrutinizing stare.

"Um, w-well…" Kyoko said lamely. "It is very well drawn…"

"Are you corrupting her?" Shizuo turned to Erika and Walker clearly irritated.

"Come on, it's a show with well muscled bishonen with deep and meaningful relationships with other men! Who wouldn't want to bear witness to such glory!?"

"Um, Erika, maybe we should go." Walker tugged on the starry-eyed Erika's arm as Shizuo growled lowly in his throat. "We'll just let ourselves out. Later!"

"Be careful with that Kyoko-chan!" Erika said with a wave; Kyoko smiled and waved back awkwardly before turning to Shizuo. She was surprised to see him looking at the DVD quite calmly.

"Sorry about that Shizuo, I know they can be a bit much, but Erika was so sweet to lend me the DVD, I just thought-"

"So, you like this stuff?" Shizuo asked.

"Uh…" Kyoko blushed furiously. "It's not that I'm an otaku or anything! I just really like the show, and the characters are well built, but I know they're not real or anything. It's nice to see fanservice for women for once…"

Shizuo stared back and forth between Kyoko and the DVD; he finally set it down and sat on the bed next to her.

"I get what you mean. Just don't get obsessed and start dragging me to conventions or anything." Shizuo patted her head; Kyoko sighed in relief.

They spent the rest of the day napping while Shizuo discreetly snuck glances over at the DVD lying innocently on the bedstand.

"Morning Shizuo." Shinra opened the door and let Shizuo in his apartment with a surprised smile. "You don't usually come here to visit."

"I need to ask you some questions concerning my strength." Shizuo said cutting to the chase; he didn't want Shinra to start babbling.

"Oh?"

They sat down on the couch and Shinra stared at Shizuo curiously; Shizuo coughed and cleared his throat.

"You said once that my muscles have hardened over time right? That my body had to evolve so it could handle the damage?"

"That is part of my theory." Shinra nodded "Like I said, your body had healed itself so many times over and now it seems to be nearly impossible to seriously harm. It's pretty amazing."

"But you told me my strength comes from how I can access it even if I'm not under any deadly threat. So it has nothing to do with my muscles."

"No, it does appear to have originated from your brain not being able to limit your physical strength. It's a good thing your body caught up though." Shinra continued to smile pleasantly. "I would probably be able to tell you a more accurate assessment if you just let me do a quick and painless dissection."

"Are you trying to piss me off on purpose?"

Shinra chuckled and backed away as Shizuo clenched his fists.

"Forget I said anything!" Shinra said quickly; Shizuo grunted but his hands relaxed in his lap.

"Look, what I'm trying to ask is if I can build up muscle."

"Huh? Why would you want to do that?" Shinra inquired; a quick glare from Shizuo was enough to make him backtrack his question. "Um, well, since you already have practically limitless strength, I would assume weightlifting wouldn't be of much help." Shinra leaned back on the couch and looked thoughtful for a moment. "When someone lifts weight, they're pushing the limit of their body's strength and building muscle. If you tried to do it, it wouldn't work out the same because your muscles are already more dense and stronger than any bodybuilders. You'd have to practice with buildings maybe."

"Oh. I see." Shizuo rose up from the couch and walked to the door. "Well, thanks. Tell Celty I said hello."

Shinra stared as he trudged out of the apartment. _"What's up with him?"_

After a bath, Shizuo stopped to study his reflection in the bathroom mirror; he stared blankly and looked himself up and down. He had never realized how thin he actually was; his exceptional height made him look even more so, and his limbs suddenly looked gangly and awkward. He grimaced slightly.

Kyoko said he was handsome.

She never shied away from him when they kissed or did anything physical; but was it because she felt obligated to? Did she figure he would've been more toned because of his strength and was disappointed? Was she afraid to tell him the truth and get him angry or hurt his feelings?

"This is fucking stupid." Shizuo sighed and went into his bedroom; he began to search for clean pajamas as he heard his front door opening.

"Hey Shizuo, it's me!" Kyoko called out cheerfully; Shizuo could hear her footsteps as she walked to his bedroom door.

"Don't come in!" Shizuo said quickly pulling on his boxers

"Why?" Kyoko said from the other side of the door; her hand was just about to turn the handle.

"I...I'm not dressed."

Kyoko laughed loudly and opened the door. "Shizuo, we've seen each other naked!"

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave him a peck on the cheek before sitting on his bed.

"Today's class went on forever. I can't wait until it's over." Kyoko sighed and laid back on the bed. "How was your day?"

"Okay."

"Did something happen? You look kind of down." Kyoko rose up; she patted the spot next to her.

Shizuo growled in frustration and plopped down on the bed, breaking a few of the metal bed springs; he decided he'd better just come out with it.

"Kyoko do you think I'm scrawny?"

"Huh?"

"I mean…" Shizuo sighed and turned to face her. "Do you wish I had muscles like the guys from that show?"

"Shizuo." Kyoko sighed and held his head in her arms; she kissed the top of his head affectionately. "I fell for you because of who you are. I wouldn't care if you were half my size."

"You'd date a midget then?" Shizuo said wryly. "You know, people expect me to be some hulking monster when they hear about me."

Kyoko pulled away and looked at Shizuo with a wide smile. "Do you know what I see when I look at you?"

Shizuo frowned. "What?"

"Firstly, I see someone very, very tall." Kyoko giggled as Shizuo rolled his eyes. "I see thick hair, warm arms, a firm stance, and the gentlest eyes I've ever seen."

She kissed him softly. "Your personality just makes you that much more attractive. Do you know what I thought about the whole time I was in class?"

"Huh?" Shizuo didn't seem to have heard her; he was staring with slightly parted lips as Kyoko climbed on his lap, her legs placed on either side of his hips.

"I thought about you." Kyoko hugged him tightly and kissed his neck; Shizuo could feel her breasts pressing against his front. "I also thought about sushi. I was kind of hungry."

"I just took a bath you know." Shizuo mumbled halfheartedly as Kyoko laid down next to him with a teasing smile.

"We can take another one later!" Kyoko laughed and Shizuo hovered over her. "Let's make some more of these bed springs break."

"Dammit, do you have to be so…?" Shizuo blushed and leaned down to kiss Kyoko's smiling mouth.

 _"What the hell was I worrying about? Stupid anime."_ Shizuo thought a half hour later as Kyoko laid on top of him in the warm bath water; she gurgled to make bubbles on the surface and he splashed her with a smirk. Kyoko used her hands to squirt water in his face. Shizuo held her chin in his hand with a soft smile.

"If they were real, I'd just beat the shit out of them anyway."

"What?" Kyoko looked at him strangely.

"...Nothing."


	17. Roses are Red and so is Your Blood

_"Which kind should I make?"_ Kyoko wondered going through various recipes online. _"Should I go with plain milk chocolate or try to use caramel? Oh, or peanut butter? Is Shizuo allergic to peanuts…? I only have a week left to decide!"_

Kyoko sighed and smiled. This was going to be the first Valentine's Day she would spend with a boyfriend.

"I can't wait to give him his candy!" Kyoko giggled excitedly; she stopped when she heard her doorbell ring.

"Huh?" Kyoko got up from her desk and went to the front door. "Shizuo? Nah, he knows he can just come in."

She looked through the peep hole; there was a man outside with a clipboard and a cardboard box.

"Hello." Kyoko said as she opened the door; the man smiled politely.

"Hello miss, I have a special delivery for you. If you could just sign for it."

"Oh, of course." Kyoko signed the paper and the man left; she looked at the box. It didn't say who it was from.

"Hm." Kyoko slowly cut open the tape with a kitchen knife. "I don't remember ordering anything."

"Hey." Shizuo walked into her kitchen; Kyoko smiled.

"Look, I got a mystery package!" Kyoko said. "Maybe I won a raffle? Or a sweepstakes?"

"Does it say who it's from?" Shizuo asked as he ruffled her hair.

"No." Kyoko opened the box; it was filled with pink and white tissue paper.

"Oh wow!" Kyoko exclaimed; she pulled out a plush brown bear; it held a stuffed rose in it's hand and a card was taped to it's other paw.

"It's so cute!" Kyoko took the card and began opening it.

"What does it say?" Shizuo said calmly as he eyed the stuffed bear with distaste. "A family member?"

"Um, probably not." Kyoko said with a sad shrug. "They're still not talking to me...oh, it's a Valentine card!"

"Shizuo." Kyoko grinned. "Did you send this to me as a surprise?"

Shizuo frowned. "No. What does it say?"

"It's a poem." Kyoko read it out loud, her voice getting more surprised as she read.

 _"E'en as a lovely flower,_

 _So fair, so pure thou art;_

 _I gaze on thee, and sadness_

 _Comes stealing o'er my heart._

 _My hands I fain had folded_

 _Upon thy soft brown hair,_

 _Praying that God may keep thee_

 _So lovely, pure and fair."_

"The fuck does that mean?" Shizuo grunted.

"It's a Heinrich Heine poem. He's one of my favorite poets." Kyoko stared at the card. "It's says they're a secret admirer."

Shizuo gently took the card out of her hands and read it.

"I have admired you from afar for some time now, but please don't worry, I'm not a stalker or anything. I see you around Ikebukuro, and you do know me somewhat. I know you love someone else; I just wanted to give you this. I hope this gift brings you as much delight as seeing your lovely face and kind smile brings me."

-Your Secret Admirer

"Shizuo?" Kyoko asked timidly. "Do you want me to throw this stuff out?"

"Well, what do you think?" Shizuo asked as he handed the card back to her. He was unusually calm; Kyoko wasn't sure what to say.

"Well, it's very sweet…" Kyoko said uncertainly. "I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't feel bad throwing them out."

Shizuo sighed. "Look, I'm trying to be fair to you. You should keep it. It sounds like this guy isn't going to try anything, so I'm okay."

Kyoko smiled widely and threw her arms around Shizuo; she felt so proud, he really was trying to be better when it came to jealousy.

"Shizuo you're the best." she peppered kisses on his face. "You're the only Valentine I want."

"Damn right." Shizuo hoisted her up in his arms.

"You're really okay with this?" Kyoko laid her head on his shoulder as they watched TV in the living room; Shizuo shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm fine." he smiled and Kyoko looked reassured; he felt only somewhat irritated. He could understand why someone would fall for her. Kyoko was too nice.

Shizuo held Kyoko a bit closer. _"Calm down. Everything's fine."_

After all it was just one gift.


	18. Violets are Blue and so is Shizuo

The next day another package came, with no return address on the label; Kyoko frowned as she stared down at it.

 _"Is this from the same person?"_ she wondered; she carefully opened the box. Inside was a box of chocolates and a purple rose.

Shizuo picked up the flower and stared. "What the hell?"

Kyoko looked over at him warily. "Calm down, I'm sure it's nothing."

"Nothing? I thought this guy wasn't going to try anything." Shizuo said as he tossed the flower back into the box. "Read that card, I wanna know what this guy's trying to pull."

Kyoko bit her lip and tore open the envelope; she read the card slowly.

"I hope you liked the last gift; the bear was so cute and soft, it reminded me of you. I hope you enjoy these chocolates; you might be wondering why I chose to give you a purple rose instead of something like red or pink. A purple rose signifies love at first sight or enchantment; I simply couldn't resist sending these to you. You haunt my thoughts all the time, it seems some days I can think of nothing else. I figured someone as charming as you deserves something almost equal to your captivating presence."  
-Your Secret Admirer

"Shizuo…" Kyoko looked to him visibly concerned.

"It's just chocolate and a flower." Shizuo tried to control his shaking, clenching his fists; his nails cut into his palm.

"Here." Kyoko smiled and popped one of the chocolates into Shizuo's mouth.

"It's okay." It was probably the best chocolate Shizuo had ever eaten, but there was no way in hell he would say it. It was obvious this 'secret admirer' put a lot of thought into the gift; those chocolates could only be purchased in certain stores.

"Who the heck sent me this stuff?" Kyoko wondered as she placed the card in the drawer next to the last one. "I don't even know many people."

"Kyoko, do you wish I was more like this guy?"

"Shizuo I love you. I'll admit, these gifts are flattering, but they don't mean anything." Kyoko said. "I'm just curious who they're from. I sorta feel bad for them."

Shizuo frowned. "Why?"

"Well, I'm sure it's obvious I'm crazy for you." Kyoko grinned cheekily. "Even when we were just friends, this guy wouldn't of stood a chance."

Shizuo smiled back. "Really?"

"Yep."

Later that day, Shizuo was eating at Russia Sushi with Tom.

"So, this is the second time this week she's gotten a present?" Tom asked; Shizuo nodded his head. "This guy sounds really drippy."

"Kyoko likes the gifts though." Shizuo grumbled. "Does she want me to be more romantic or something?"

"I don't think she wants anything from you." Tom replied. "From what you told me, she's just feeling bad for the guy. Who do you think it is anyway?"

"That's the thing." Shizuo huffed; he stabbed at his sushi with his chopsticks. "I have no clue. She says she has a couple guy friends from school, but one has a girlfriend and the other has a boyfriend."

"Maybe it's someone we know?" Tom supplied. "She's met Shinra, but that's obviously not an option."

"She's met Kadota and Walker, but they barely know her." Shizuo said. "Besides, none of the letters are their style at all."

Tom shrugged. "Maybe she's got a stalker."

"Somebody's gonna fucking die if they try to come near her." Shizuo angrily chomped on his dumpling. "I don't get what's the point of giving her this stuff."

"Well, when you like someone, you want to do things for them." Tom mused. "Maybe whoever her secret admirer is just likes giving her gifts. Kinda pathetic really, no wonder she feels bad."

"Look," Tom put a hand on Shizuo's shoulder. "Kyoko doesn't seem interested and this guy doesn't seem like he's going to make an actual move. Just relax, I'm sure this is nothing."

"Yeah, I guess." Shizuo mumbled; he felt a bit better venting to Tom, but his anxiety was still there. This was too weird, and he felt like he was being shown up.

Shizuo's feelings weren't unwarranted; over the next three days, Kyoko had gotten three more gifts, each more personal than the last. On the fifth day, Valentine's Day, she was holding up a lacy pink and white dress with a distinctly uncomfortable expression.

"I pray you don't think this is perverted or anything. I saw this dress, and I immediately thought of you; of course, you'd look ravishingly beautiful in anything.

I can't hold back my feelings anymore. I don't care about Shizuo Heiwajima, I just want to talk to you and ask if there's any chance you will accept my feelings. I know this seems crazy, and I meant to just send you the first gift, but as the week went on, I couldn't resist. I could treat you better. The man you're with is dangerous, and sometimes I lay awake at night worrying that he might end up harming you. Meet me at Russia Sushi at 3:00pm. Please come alone, so we can really talk. I will wait all day if I have to."

\- Your Secret Admirer

Shizuo crumpled up the card in his hand.

"He's dead."

"Shizuo, please calm down!" Kyoko fretted as Shizuo tore the dress from her hands and ripped it to shreds.

"Calm down!? Why the fuck should I calm down? Some asshole is making me out like a abusive bastard, and telling you to meet him, and I should just be calm about it? You're **my** girlfriend and someone needs to get the fuckin' memo!"

Kyoko watched as Shizuo paced back and forth in her kitchen. "It's not like I'm interested and I'm sure he knows that. I just won't meet him."

"And then what? What if he keeps sending you shit anyway?" Shizuo snapped. "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't kept them!"

"What? Don't try to blame me for this!" Kyoko retorted. "You agreed yourself it wasn't a big deal. Besides, how would he even know whether I kept them or not?"

"I know what I said. Dammit, I should've trashed that stuff myself the second you got it!" Shizuo's pacing became faster, his fists clenched; the tension in the room was rising and Kyoko felt helpless as she watched him. "I don't know if this guy is keeping tabs on you or what, but he's getting more persistent."

"Should I go meet him and tell him no?" Kyoko asked worriedly. "If I just ignore it, he might do something else."

"Oh, so you want to go talk to him?" Shizuo said roughly. "Rather spend Valentine's day with your secret boyfriend?"

"What?" Kyoko's eyes narrowed. "What is your problem?! That's way out of line!"

 **"My fucking girlfriend is going off to meet another guy and I should just be okay with it?!"** Shizuo yelled and slammed his fist on the table; it broke in two with a loud crack and crashed to the ground.

Kyoko jumped as it landed. Shizuo's glare disappeared as he stared as Kyoko began trembling, tears pricking the corners of her eyes; she was scared.

"Kyoko...I-"

"Get out."

"Kyoko-"

Shizuo flinched as Kyoko walked away and slammed her bedroom door shut.

 _"Dammit. Dammit, no."_ Shizuo tried to open the bedroom door, but Kyoko had it locked.

"Babe?" No answer. "Kyoko, let me in!" Shizuo shook the doorknob; it broke off and the door opened.

"Will you just leave me alone?" Kyoko was still trembling, huddled up on the bed, her knees drawn up to her chest.

Shizuo slowly sat on the bed. "Look at me."

Kyoko sniffled and wiped her eyes. "Your an asshole."

"Please look at me." Shizuo took her face in his hands and slowly turned it so she'd look him in the eye. "I didn't mean to. You know I'd never lay a hand on you."

Shizuo's eye caught sight of a small bag of chocolate lying on the dresser.

"Are those mine?"

"Yes." Kyoko replied stiffly. "I'm not cheating on you and I don't care about this stupid secret admirer thing. I just wanted to spend Valentine's day with you without you blowing up about something."

"I know." Shizuo pulled Kyoko to him; she didn't pull away, but she wouldn't hold him back.

A stab of pain went through his chest; he pressed his face into her hair, silently pleading with her. _"Please Kyoko. I won't be able to take it if you're scared of me. I'm sorry I'm such a coward. I know I can't control myself half the time, but I'm trying. Don't give up on me."_

"I'm sorry." Shizuo said quietly. He held her as tightly as he could without her getting crushed. "I shouldn't have gotten mad at you."

"You're going to replace my table." Kyoko sighed and leaned into Shizuo with a tiny smile.

"I love you."

Kyoko couldn't stop herself from grinning. "I love you too. Do you want us to go together to meet this guy? If you're there, he won't try anything."

"Okay. Visit me if I end up in prison for manslaughter?"


	19. Tricksters and Hairsticks

"You?!" Shizuo growled.

Izaya stood in front of Russia Sushi; he had been talking to Simon before Shizuo's outburst. Kyoko stood there clutching onto Shizuo's hand.

"Shizuo!" Simon's booming voice called out; he seemed oblivious to the thick tension that suddenly hung in front of the restaurant. "Happy Valentine! Come, eat some sushi, 45% off for couple!"

"Hello Shizu-chan." Izaya smirked as he caught sight of Kyoko. "You brought him along?"

"What's going on?" Kyoko asked; she looked lost. " _You_ sent me that stuff?"

"Is it that hard to believe?" Izaya walked over pointedly ignoring the fuming Shizuo; Kyoko frowned.

"Well, yes." her eyes narrowed in anger. "You did this to mess with Shizuo."

"Yep!" Izaya confessed cheerfully. "You've got to admit though, it was pretty funny. He totally freaked out, right? I figured you were too nice to actually throw that stuff out and by the looks of it, I was right! How boring."

"You son of a bitch! I should've known, the whole thing smelled like shit!" Shizuo let go of Kyoko's hand to avoid crushing it; she wouldn't let go.

"Kyoko, let me go!" Shizuo demanded.

Izaya smiled. "Tell me, didn't you like the gifts Kyoko-chan? Did I make your heart race?" he laughed as Shizuo glowered furiously. "It must be hard to keep down your vomit after kissing him."

Kyoko was staring up at Shizuo worriedly. "Shizuo, let's just go home. This whole thing was just a dumb joke."

"Dumb joke?" Izaya sighed sadly. "You wound me. Is that how you reply to a confession?"

"Izaya stop." Kyoko said. "You and I both know why you did this. Here."

She held out a plastic grocery bag; Izaya took it and looked inside curiously.

"For whatever reason, I don't want these." Kyoko said and backed away to clutch at Shizuo's arm. Shizuo looked down at her and glared at Izaya; he unfurled his fist with a huff.

"Fine, I'll skip killing you today. I don't care why you gave these to Kyoko. You just stay the fuck away from her."

"Hmph. Shizu-chan is so predictable." Izaya said turning away with a sigh. "I must be going anyway. I have my own plans. Good luck to you Kyoko-chan!"

"Don't get mad Shizuo, fighting is never good." Simon walked up to them and smiled. "Eat some sushi! 100% fresh fish, no human flesh! Have romantic dinner with your golubushka!"

"What?" Kyoko asked.

"In my language, it means dove." Simon smiled and ushered them both inside. "Enjoy please!"

"I'm still pissed." Shizuo said after they had ordered; Kyoko smiled.

"I was worried for a second there." Kyoko grimaced at what would have happened if Izaya had been serious. She turned to Shizuo, who was still scowling. "You know, Izaya's probably jealous that you have a girlfriend on Valentine's day and he doesn't."

"The prick. Oh here." Shizuo pulled out a tiny box wrapped in brown paper and held it out almost shyly.

Kyoko took it and slowly tore off the paper; she opened the slim box and took out a kanzashi hair stick; on one end was a delicate red water lily.

"Shizuo I love it!" Kyoko exclaimed. "I've never seen a red lily."

"It symbolizes the heart. Mine..." Shizuo averted his eyes nervously. "It's yours."

"It's the best gift I've ever gotten." Kyoko kissed him fully on the lips.

Shizuo blushed heavily as Simon stuck his head in to remind them of a special offer.

"If you order number 6 combo platter, you get extra 10% off! Shizuo, don't be embarrassed, kissing is good for you!"

"Shut up Simon!"

"Shizuo?" Kyoko said gently. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did earlier. I know you'd never hurt me. You just get kind of scary when you're mad..."

Shizuo deflated and sighed. "I still have a long way to go."

"You know, I wasn't able to give you your real Valentine's day gift." Kyoko said.

"What is it?"

Kyoko grinned.


	20. Be Mine

**Author's Note: Sexual content!**

"I didn't know you drank."

"Huh?" Shizuo replied sluggishly. "I usually don't. Sorry Kyoko, was feeling kind of depressed after all this shit."

Kyoko tried to help Shizuo into her room; he flopped back on the bed and groaned in relief. He wasn't dead drunk, but he felt looser than usual, and gave Kyoko a half smile.

"You're heavier than I expected." Kyoko laughed lightly. "How do you feel?"

"Okay. Kind of relaxed, but kinda clumsy, you know?" Shizuo sat up and pulled Kyoko onto his lap. "I feel really warm."

Kyoko threaded her finger through his hair. "Hm. I might have to reschedule your other present if you're too out of it."

"No, I'm fine, really." Shizuo assured her; Kyoko pursed her lips in thought before standing up and opening her closet.

"Okay close your eyes and don't open them until I say so."

Shizuo nodded and laid on his side, facing away from Kyoko; he strained his ears and heard only the rustling of cloth.

"Okay, you can look!" Kyoko chimed.

"Holy shit."

Kyoko smiled and twirled around for him to see the whole dress. "Isn't it cute? I always wanted to wear something like this."

Shizuo just stared dumbly; the white baby doll dress barely left anything to the imagination. The most distracting part was the white thigh high stockings and pink panties.

"Where did you even get that…?"

Kyoko blushed lightly as she made her way to the bed. "I ordered it online. Does it look funny?"

"No." Shizuo pulled Kyoko back onto his lap before burying his face into her neck.

"Shizuo, wait." she moaned as he immediately began feeling her through the panties. "Take off your clothes."

"Kay." Shizuo practically ripped off his uniform and underwear before going back to the task of leaving a visible mark on Kyoko's breast.

"Ow, careful." Kyoko said gently pulling Shizuo off; he looked at her apologetically before giving her a kiss.

"Sorry, I really have the shittiest self control." he looked down and ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Remember how I said you can get kind of scary?" Kyoko kissed the side of Shizuo's face with a small smile.

"Yeah…"

"Well, it's really only your temper that worries me." Kyoko explained as she kissed her way down his torso; Shizuo sighed as she licked the tip of his member. "Your strength really is amazing, I don't think you realize how cool you are sometimes." Kyoko giggled at his disbelieving expression.

"I mean it." Kyoko continued shyly. "Actually, seeing you get all worked up….sometimes it turns me on…"

"Really?" Shizuo stared at her blankly; Kyoko nodded and smiled coyly.

"Then…" Shizuo cleared his throat nervously. "I've been wanting to try this position."

"What is it?"

Shizuo's could barely contain his blush. "What if while we did it, I held you up against the wall?"

Kyoko leaned in and nibbled on his bottom lip. "Let's try."

"Can we do it in the shower?" Shizuo nuzzled Kyoko's neck and looked up at her pleadingly.

"Okay, just don't slip and drop me."

A few minutes later the shower was running warm water and Shizuo could feel goosebumps on his skin as Kyoko slowly took off her underwear.

"You really like it that much?" Kyoko teased folding her arms over her breasts suggestively.

"Come on, before I lose it." Shizuo said picking Kyoko up and stepping under the shower spray; her hair soon fell heavy and wet around her shoulders. It was oddly transfixing to watch as the water cascaded over skin that slowly turned red from the heat.

"Shizuo?" Kyoko looked at him; he snapped out of his daze and got down on his knees.

"Spread open your legs." Shizuo kissed the inside of her thigh.

Kyoko slowly parted her legs and Shizuo began licking the outer folds; he could already feel her getting wetter in his mouth.

He tried to take a good look. _"Huh. It kind of looks like a little flower or something."_

"Ah!" Kyoko shrieked when Shizuo's tongue found her clit; he licked it gently, trying to watch as her cheeks grew redder and redder.

"You embarrassed? That's not like you." he commented and pushed his tongue harder against the clit; she whimpered as he slipped a finger inside her.

"I'm not used to this yet." Kyoko smiled shyly and moaned as Shizuo gave her one last long lick; he grinned up at her.

 _"She tastes like...oranges? Strawberries? Fuck it, who cares?"_

Shizuo hoisted Kyoko up against the tiled wall, his hand gripping onto her thighs; she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck as he tried to get a comfortable position.

"Shit." he cursed. "I forgot the condom."

"It's okay, I'm still on the pill." Kyoko nibbled on his ear. "I bought some morning after pills too, just in case."

"Good." Shizuo groaned as he slipped inside her; Kyoko couldn't help laughing.

"Isn't this hard at all for you, holding me up?" she asked incredulously.

Shizuo shook his head. "I think I can go deeper this way."

He thrust his hips experimentally.

"Oh god!" Kyoko clung to him; he loved how her voice got breathy when she was really turned on. "Please Shizuo." she tightened around him; she loved feeling filled up by him.

The water pounded onto Shizuo's back as he steadily rocked back and forth into Kyoko; she tried to move with him, but the sensation was becoming overwhelming. After a few minutes, she could barely keep up.

"Don't strain yourself." Shizuo said firmly. "Let me take care of you."

"Harder!" Kyoko cried out as Shizuo's thrust grew faster; she could feel him throbbing inside her. Shizuo leaned down slightly to lick at the water falling from her neck.

"I'm sorry." Shizuo huffed. "I love you."

"Shizuo?" Kyoko asked weakly; his hands griped her thighs firmly in response. Her head fell against the back of the wall when he picked up the pace. "I-I..slow down, I'm going to-"

"Then do it." Shizuo was practically slamming into her now; she groaned as he took one of her nipples into his mouth. "Scream when you do."

Kyoko's nails dug into his shoulder when she came, screaming his name and thrashing as he continued to move inside her.

"Shizuo, no more." she groaned; he kept going, moaning louder and louder as he did. "It's too much."

"Hold on babe." Shizuo tried to calm down; he slowly lowered her to the shower floor. "I'm almost there. Just hang on."

Kyoko pulled his face down to kiss him; Shizuo was breathing heavily.

"Feels so fucking good. Don't wanna stop." Shizuo tried to focus on Kyoko moaning weakly under him.

"Shizuo please." Kyoko held his face in her hands. "Come inside me."

Shizuo rode out his orgasm and slowly pulled out; Kyoko shuddered as she felt his semen leaking into her.

"That was amazing." Kyoko kissed the top of his head; Shizuo was almost lying completely on top of her.

"Kyoko?" Shizuo looked up at her with bleary eyes. "Was I too rough?"

"Nope." Kyoko smiled and slowly sat up; she turned off the water and wrapped a towel around Shizuo's back. "Let's dry off and go to bed, okay?"

"Kay."

They didn't bother to put on anything when they finally crawled into the bed; Kyoko pulled a thick comforter over them. Shizuo looked ready to pass out.

Kyoko giggled as Shizuo yawned and rubbed his eyes. "You're too cute. I think you might have had a bit too much to drink."

"Just fucking cuddle me." Shizuo closed his eyes and pulled Kyoko to his chest so they could spoon. "Happy Valentine's day. Sorry if my morning wood wakes you up."

Kyoko's laugh rang throughout the room; Shizuo smiled slightly before drifting off into a heavy slumber.


	21. To Have and to Hold

**Author's Note: Sexual content people!**

If there was one thing Shizuo was sure of, it was that Kyoko was strong.

She wasn't fragile, though she didn't have much experience with fighting; her only saving grace was a mean right hook. But that wasn't the kind of strength that mattered in Shizuo's eyes.

Even though she was half his size, Kyoko seemed to stand tall and solid; she walked with purpose and wasn't afraid to look someone in the eye. Kyoko took everything with a grain of salt and a friendly smile.

Shizuo loved her happy little 'hi'. It was enthusiastic, like she was greeting an old friend or someone she hadn't seen in a long time. It was adorable and Shizuo felt himself melt a little bit every time he heard it. The way she faced the world made him think she was twice her size.

Not that he didn't worry about her, but as time went on, he learned to relax a little more each day; Kyoko was okay.

It was only when Shizuo saw her lying naked and limp on the bed with bruises on her skin, did he truly realize how weak she was compared to him.

"Shizuo?" Kyoko yawned slightly; she looked up at him with a tired smile. "Are you up already?"

He didn't answer only stared down at her with pensive eyes.

 _"I messed up again."_

Kyoko frowned. "Hey, are you okay? Shizuo?"

She tried to sit up, only to gasp sharply; Shizuo winced as she looked down at herself, at the reddish purple bruises around her thighs and hips.

"Oh wow." Kyoko said. "It didn't hurt last night." She sat up more slowly this time.

"I'm sorry."

Kyoko reached out to Shizuo. He flinched and drew away.

"Don't."

"It's okay Shizuo." Kyoko said quietly. "You didn't mean to."

"That's the problem. I never mean to." Shizuo chuckled self deprecatingly.

Kyoko stared at him sadly. "I'm not upset."

"Well, you fucking should be." Shizuo put a hand to his forehead. "You don't get it, do you? I lost control, I wasn't careful; do you realize with enough force I could've broken your bones?"

"But you didn't!" Kyoko tried to reason with him, her voice pleading.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER!" Shizuo growled. "Do you realize how many of the women I've cared about have ended up in the hospital because I tried to help them, because I couldn't restrain myself?!"

Kyoko was silent.

"I never even had a chance. I could never look them in the eye afterward." Shizuo said breathing harshly. "Don't you see how bad I don't want to fuck this up? This is the first time anyone's ever stayed and I'm ruining it."

 _"Dammit, don't leave me."_ Shizuo breathed slowly, trying to calm down, to steel himself for when Kyoko finally realized the truth and would make him leave. _"I don't want this. I don't want to be alone. I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate-"_

"Stop."

Kyoko took his hand firmly. "Shut up and listen to me for once. I know what you're like. I know you would never intentionally hurt me. I'm not stupid."

She wrapped her arms around his shaking shoulders.

"I love you and you can't get rid of me. You could accidentally break every bone in my body and it wouldn't change my feelings." Kyoko giggled. "You'd have to be my nurse of course and give me wheelchair rides. Oh and ice cream! Lots of ice cream."

"Kyoko…" Shizuo buried his face in her neck, feeling slightly ashamed. "I'm so sorry. I'll be more careful next time."

"Well, you know what they say." Kyoko grinned. "Practice makes perfect and from what's pressing into my stomach, I think now might be the perfect time."

Shizuo looked down with a blush and scowled at Kyoko's cheeky smile. "I can't help it. It just gets like that in the morning."

Kyoko gently pushed Shizuo back onto the pillows; he gasped and tried to move away as she slowly lowered herself onto his shaft.

"Don't!" Shizuo didn't move for fear of hurting her. "You shouldn't you-"

"It's not as bad as it looks." Kyoko leaned down to kiss him sweetly; he moaned as she bit his lip. "You know, I can't help kind of like them."

"What?!" Shizuo gritted his teeth as Kyoko squeezed down on him and nibbled his neck.

"It sort of like a love bite, but you used your hands." Kyoko stroked his cheek, staring down at his dilated eyes. "It's from you. I can't help love them, just like I can't help loving every part of you."

Shizuo's eyes rolled back into his head as she slowly rocked against him; his hands tore up the sheets.

"It feels so good inside me." Kyoko breathed as she began to bounce.

"Fuck!" Shizuo moaned and thrust his hips up sharply; Kyoko whimpered and took his hands, placing them on her breasts.

"I'm so close already." Kyoko confessed; Shizuo rolled his nipples in her fingers. The added sensation made Kyoko cry out.

 _"I love you Kyoko."_ Shizuo stared up at her with glassy eyes; how many times had he dreamed of being this way with someone, to be loved and to be able to love them back without fear? Kyoko always looked at him with adoration, marveling at his body, his strength, his awkwardness, his anger, and his gentleness. Kyoko treated him as if he was the most amazing person she had ever met and when she looked at him with her cheeks flushed with happiness, he could almost believe it himself.

 _"She really does accept me."_ Shizuo wanted to yell in joy, to swing Kyoko around in his arms and kiss her until she was breathless.

For now, he could settle for making her feel as good as she made him feel.

 _"No. Better."_ Shizuo began thrusting up into her, rubbing her breasts; they bounced with every thrust and looked so small in his hands; his pleasure was second priority at this time.

"Ah Shizuo!" Kyoko tightened around him hard as she came; Shizuo carefully lifted her off of him and laid her down, pulling the blanket over her.

"S-Shizuo." Kyoko panted; her whole body was trembling and oversensitive. "You didn't-"

"Shut up." Shizuo kissed her forehead and smiled. "Let me take care of you."

He pulled her head to his chest and combed his fingers through her hair; she yawned shakily and relaxed against him with a smile. Shizuo sighed feeling more content than he had in years.

 _"You've already done the same for me."_


	22. Beautiful

Kyoko smiled pleasantly at the new table in the center of her apartment; Shizuo had given it to her as both a housewarming gift and an apology for breaking the old one.

"Are you sure it's okay? I got it secondhand from a thrift store." Shizuo looked at it with a grimace. He would've gotten her a new one, but money was tight. Kyoko looked positively ecstatic when he brought it up to her place.

"No, no, it's perfect!" she clapped her hands together with a grin. "It's from you after all."

Shizuo flushed in pleasure and promised himself to get her a nicer one later.

"I really didn't bother with nice furniture before since that apartment was temporary." Kyoko put a finger to her lip thoughtfully as she gazed around her living room and kitchen. "This stuff is fine, but I would like to get something more comfy, you know?"  
"Well, I was thinking-" Shizuo was interrupted by a curt knock on the door; they both looked at it curiously.

"That's weird." Kyoko slowly walked over to look in the peephole. "I wonder if that's the landlord."

"Maybe he forgot something." Shizuo shrugged and leaned against the kitchen counter.

Kyoko looked on the other side of the door.

"Is it him?" Shizuo asked; she was just standing there completely still and it was freaking him out slightly.

Kyoko was silent as she carefully unlocked and opened the door.

"Kyoko."

It was a woman. She stood tall and erect with her dark hair in a neatly coiffed style. She didn't look at Kyoko as she addressed her; instead, she scanned the apartment with thinly veiled distaste.

"You're living here now? I can't say I'm surprised." the woman shook her head. "Being a nurse for flea bitten mongrels isn't the best career choice for financial stability. Still, I won't have rumors started that I don't look after my own daughter."

"I'm a veterinarian mother." Kyoko said evenly; her face was visibly strained. "What are you doing here?"

Her mother looked affronted. "Is that how you greet your elders? I'm only here to give you the last check we promised for your rent. I swear, I didn't raise you to-who is _that_?" she grimaced as she caught sight of Shizuo; he returned her disgust with a stony stare.

Kyoko stiffened. "This is my boyfriend, Shizuo Heiwajima."

There was a tense pause.

"A...bartender?" Kyoko's mother eyes narrowed coldly before she regained her professional demeanor. "Kyoko I don't know where me and your father went wrong. You quit school, abandon a respectable profession, and now you're 'shacking up' with-with some menial labor lout?" she massaged her temples, not seeming to notice Shizuo's grip beginning to crack the counter.

"I thought we taught you to have standards." Her mother's voice seemed to cut through Kyoko with every word; she was looking down at the floor, her hands trembling. "I wish I could say I was disappointed, but you've already proven to me that you simply can't comprehend the shame you have brought to us-"

Shizuo was prepared to break the counter in his hands. He was prepared to scream and curse and foam at the mouth because of this shitty excuse of a mother who was making his girlfriend sad. He was prepared to raise hell and hear Kyoko give him hell for it later, but it would be worth it to wipe that smug, superior scowl off that cold woman's face.

Shizuo was not prepared for Kyoko to give her own mother a swift slap to the face.

"You will **not** talk about him that way." Kyoko looked coldly up at the face of the stunned woman. "I don't want or need your money. Leave."

"H-how dare you! You ungrateful-!"

"I'm embarrassed to be related to you and 're the one who's shameful." Kyoko replied; she looked pained as she slowly lowered her hand. Shizuo thought she was going to cry, but her voice held firm. "I didn't want it to be this way. I tried to be a good daughter, but I'm sick of being treated like I'm a bad person for doing what makes me happy. I love Shizuo and your opinion doesn't mean shit to me anymore."

Her mother stood there in shock before giving her an icy glare.

"Goodbye."

She left without so much as a glance back; Kyoko shut the door gently.

"I'm sorry Shizuo." Kyoko smiled up at him weakly. "I tell you to keep calm and here I am resorting to violence over a stupid comment."

Shizuo walked over to her. "Can I just say one thing?"

Kyoko looked at him curiously. "What?"

"Your mom's a real bitch."

"Ha...haha!" Kyoko shook with laughter before tackling Shizuo into a hug.

Shizuo frowned. "Are you okay?"

Kyoko shrugged. "No, but I will be. Like I said, I don't consider them my family anymore. I wish things could've been different, but…" she shrugged again and kissed his cheek.

"Kyoko?"

"Hm?"

Shizuo tried to hold back a proud grin. "You know, that was amazing how you stood up to her."

Kyoko leaned into him and smiled wryly. "Not really; I just lost it when she looked at you like you were an insect."

"Babe," Shizuo carried her over to the couch and sat her on his lap; she smiled up at him sweetly. "I'm sorry."

Kyoko looked at him strangely. "Why?"

"Look at me." Shizuo smiled self deprecatingly. "My parents were good people, always treated me well, like I was this great son and my brother always stood by me. I turned out a mess; it's sad how you had this crappy family but still managed to turn out the way you did. I really only have myself to blame for the way I am."

"I think you're pretty amazing yourself." Kyoko put her hand to his cheek and smiled sadly. "You're….beautiful."

"Beautiful?" Shizuo asked her uncertainly.

She nodded. "In every sense of the word. Do you think I would've gotten as mad as I did when you were insulted if I didn't think otherwise?"

"Oh I forgot! What was it you were saying earlier?" Kyoko asked; Shizuo cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Yeah, well, I was going to say...why don't we move in together?"

Kyoko stared up at him blankly.

 _"Shit. Shit, shit,_ _ **shit.**_ _"_ Shizuo felt sweat drip down the side of his face. _"I should've kept my mouth shut. That's the last thing she wants to hear after all that shit with her mom."_

"Oh Shizuo!" Kyoko whispered; her eyes flooded with tears.

"Uh," Shizuo blinked. "Did I make you sad?"

"No I'm so happy! I'd love to live with you!" Kyoko gripped him tightly in her arms. "I was thinking, your apartment isn't that far from mine and I was actually hoping you'd want to move in here with me…"

She looked up at him pleadingly. "I thought since yours is so banged up, and I'm finally moved into a place of my own, we could build a new home together here."

Shizuo chuckled lowly and rubbed her head. "Promise you won't kill me if I end up breaking the table again?"

"Just try to be careful, and I'll let it go." Kyoko smiled teasingly. "I guess this means I'll be stocking up on milk more often?"

Shizuo just smiled.


	23. A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way

"Vorona?" Kyoko asked timidly; she shifted in her seat and cleared her throat. She wasn't quite used to talking with Vorona yet. The other woman was so stoic, barely acknowledging Kyoko's presence when they spoke; Kyoko tended to ramble when she was nervous, so that made things a bit more awkward.

Vorona glanced at her briefly. "Yes Yoshida-san?"

"This might sound really dumb, but are you okay? You've been really quiet, um, quieter today."

They were waiting for Tom and Shizuo outside their work building. They had forgotten something inside, and had Vorona wait with Kyoko; she secretly wondered if it was an attempt to make them bond. Tom had said Vorona didn't really have any friends; he wanted her to socialize and maybe have a 'gal pal'.

 _"I don't think that's gonna happen."_ Kyoko thought wryly. _"Still, she has been acting a bit...off. I wonder why?"_

Vorona eyed her blankly. "Yes I am fine."

"Oh okay." Kyoko said hurriedly. "But…"

"Yes?"

"I mean, if something's bothering you-" Kyoko sputtered. "I know we don't know each other well, but if something's going on you can't tell Shizuo or Tom about, you can tell me!"

Her words were met with more silence.

 _"Great."_ Kyoko looked down at her shoes. _"Those two better hurry up before I say something else. What if I piss her off? God knows I'd be dead in seconds."_

"It's peaceful here."

Kyoko nearly broke her neck turning to face Vorona. "Huh?"

"Working with Shizuo-senpai and Tom-senpai, is very peaceful." Vorona concluded.

"Peaceful?" Kyoko echoed in disbelief. "Being a debt collector is peaceful?"

Vorona seemed to hesitate. "...more so than my last job."

"Oh."

"I'm not sure what to make of my new life in Ikebukuro." Vorona continued, her voice very matter of fact. "I feel out of sorts, but I do not dislike it. Regardless, it doesn't quite feel right."

"Is it because you're not used to it?" Kyoko inquired; it was weird, but Vorona looked almost lost through her emotionless stare.

"I suppose. I don't think someone like me should live such a peaceful existence. My life hasn't prepared me for it and in some ways, I prefer my old life."

Kyoko sensed there was a story there, but she also felt it wasn't her place to outright ask about it. She could feel her heart tighten in sympathy; in some ways, Vorona reminded her of Shizuo. Some what self deprecating at times, matter of fact, and quiet. At the moment Vorona's bland delivery didn't reflect the uncertainty of her words but Kyoko could feel it well enough. It made her sad.

"You seem like the kind of person who could do anything." Kyoko folded her arms behind her back and smiled encouragingly. "If this is the way you want to live your life now, I don't see why you shouldn't."

"You wouldn't understand." Vorona's tone wasn't angry; she was stating a simple fact. Kyoko only stared at her questioningly. "Most may not believe I deserve such a life. The truth is, I am as much a monster as the Black Rider, though I have no powers; I am definitely one compared to Shizuo-senpai. Still, I do not regret the things I have done. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed them."

"But...you don't sound happy about it either." Kyoko replied quietly; Vorona was somewhat surprised.

 _"Why am I telling this woman such things anyway?_ " Vorona pondered. _"She is insignificant and weak; an ordinary girl, she has no clue. No, that's incorrect. She is like that doctor Shizuo-senpai complains about. She must also be crazy to love a monster."_

Still, there wasn't anything insane about Kyoko's warm smile.

Vorona furrowed her brow in thought. _"Why is she smiling? Did I make joke?"_

"I'm sorry, but I just don't see it." Kyoko shrugged. "You and Shizuo and Celty. You all claim to be monsters, and maybe in a sense that's true. But I don't see why you shouldn't enjoy yourselves." she grinned. "And if anyone says otherwise, you can kick their ass!"

Vorona stared at her. "You are strange."

"Oh?" Kyoko felt herself shrink under Vorona's scrutinizing gaze. "Yeah, sorry. I really shouldn't be butting into your business in the first place."

"You are a good person Yoshida-san." Vorona concluded; she didn't smile, but there was a slight lightness to her posture and her eyes were not narrowed. "A bit odd, but good."

Kyoko smiled widely. "Kyoko."

Vorona looked at her inquisitively.

"Call me Kyoko, okay?" Kyoko said with a giggle. "If you ever want to talk, please, feel free to come to me. I can't say I know much about fighting or whatever, but I'd like to help if I can."

Shizuo walked out of the door next to them. "Hey, sorry it took long."

"No problem." Kyoko chirped. Vorona merely nodded; she seemed to be on the verge of saying something. Kyoko cocked her head to the side and waited.

After a few seconds, Vorona looked Kyoko right in the eyes. "We should go eat cake."

"Huh?" Tom had just appeared and looked at them both curiously; Shizuo shrugged, not sure what to make of it.

Kyoko blinked before grinning and nodding her head quickly. "Yeah! Let's all go get cake!"

She and Vorona were strolling side by side, Tom and Shizuo walking behind them and staring in fascination.

Kyoko was enthusiastically chatting away while Vorona would spout long winded facts in turn. This just seemed to encourage Kyoko to further conversation.

"What the heck happened?" Tom whispered to Shizuo; he just shrugged his shoulders and frowned feeling incredibly confused. Kyoko had a noticeable bounce to her step and Vorona walked stiffly as she stared straight ahead; how was it these two polar opposite women were suddenly the best of friends?

"My favorite is chocolate cake!" Kyoko sighed dreamily. "It's weird, it always make me feel kind of sleepy after I eat it though."

Vorona nodded. "The smell of chocolate alone increases theta brain waves; these signals trigger feelings of relaxation."

"Really? Hm, but doesn't chocolate have caffeine in it?"

"Chocolate doesn't usually have enough caffeine to keep a human from sleeping if it is digested. You would have to eat quite a lot to gain the same alertness that may come from the caffeine in one cup of coffee or a can of soda."

Kyoko put a finger to her lip thoughtfully. "So if I just sniff it, could it help me sleep?"

"No, it wouldn't make you very tired with it's scent alone, at least not enough to fall asleep." Vorona informed her. "But as unhealthy as copious amount of chocolate can be to the human body, eating dark chocolate every day actually decreases the risk of heart disease by one third. Dark chocolate also has flavanols that stimulate the lining of the arteries which produces Nitric Oxide. This gas sends signals to the arteries to relax, which in turn lowers resistance to blood flow, which decreases blood pressure."

"Wow, you're so cool Vorona!" Kyoko gushed. "You know everything!"

"I do not know everything nor am I very cool. You are easily impressed." Vorona stated dully; Shizuo couldn't help notice the way she seemed to unconsciously walk a bit closer to Kyoko.

"Huh." Tom smiled slightly. "I don't really get it, but it's sweet to see them comfortable around each other."

"Yeah."

Shizuo took a quick drag from his cigarette before putting it out; he nearly forgot he promised himself not to smoke in front of Kyoko.

Tom looked at him wearily. "Don't tell me you're jealous of Vorona now?"

"...no."

Tom sighed as Shizuo visibly looked perturbed.

"What's your favorite cake Vorona?" Kyoko asked.

"I am not sure." Vorona's expression grew quite serious. "I enjoy the strawberry shortcake they make here. Japanese cake shops seem to make it the most delicious."

"Hm." Kyoko shrugged. "I don't know, I never thought it was that good."

Vorona shook her head vigorously. "Strawberry shortcake is better than chocolate cake."

Kyoko pouted. "But that's only your opinion. Mine is that chocolate cake is better."

"Your opinion is incorrect."


	24. Omake: Three in One Pt1

**Author's Note: Sexual Content!**

"K-Kyoko-chan?"

"Come on babe, get up."

Kyoko recognized those voices, yet they didn't sound right; who were they?

"Please quiet down you two." a more subdued voice chided the other two. "We don't want to scare the little one."

Kyoko slowly opened her eyes; she was in her room, lying on her own bed, but something wasn't right.

Shizuo smiled down at her gently. "Ah, she's awake."

 _"Wait."_ Kyoko bolted up and scooted back from him. _"This guy isn't Shizuo…."_

"Before you say anything, let us introduce ourselves." 'Shizuo' said calmly; he was wearing a blue and white kimono. As freaked out as Kyoko felt, his gaze made her feel at ease.

She looked to her right and left to see who the other two were and screamed.

"What the hell's going on?!"

The 'Shizuo' wearing clear specs and a white scarf bit his lip worriedly; the other merely smiled and winked. Kyoko definitely knew he wasn't Shizuo; he would never wear a pink and white suit.

"Hey babe!" the suited man said cheerfully.

"Delic, don't be rude."

"Aw, lighten up Tsugaru." Delic said carelessly; his smile grew mischievous. "She likes that name anyway."

"Am I dreaming?" Kyoko asked uncertainly.

"Not exactly." Delic replied. "I guess in a way. But who cares?"

He crawled over to her with a sly smile. "Let's just get to the fun part."

"Stop that." Tsugaru ordered, snatching Delic away by his collar. "We need to explain ourselves. Tsuki, please introduce yourself to Kyoko."

Tsuki adjusted his glasses nervously with a blush.

"I'm Tsuki." he looked at Kyoko with lowered eyes; as nervous as he seemed, his gaze shone with clear affection. "I'm happy I can meet you like this…"

"Hey babe, remember me?" Delic sat closer to her with a smooth grin. "I'm Delic, the man of your dreams, quite literally actually."

"Oh brother." Tsugaru resisted rolling his eyes. "I told you, be polite. I'm Tsugaru." he bowed lowly to Kyoko. "I am honored to be in your presence little one."

"Suck up." Delic grunted.

"Um, I don't understand still." Kyoko looked between them with wide eyes. These men clearly weren't Shizuo, but they did look like him, besides their colorful wardrobes. "Who are you guys exactly?"

"How should we put this?" Tsugaru rubbed his chin in thought. "Well, we are a part of Shizuo-sama. Each of us represents different emotions and sides to him; furthermore, we each serve a different function in his relationship to you."

Kyoko frowned in confusion. "Functions?"

"Yep." Delic chimed in. "For example, I am his more dashing and romantic side; not to mention lustful." he gave Kyoko a pointed stare. "I guess you could say I host his perverted thoughts, but I'm also what makes him go 'doki doki' when he thinks of you."

Delic slide an arm around Kyoko's waist. "I'm also a bit on the possessive side...but hey, no one's perfect, right?"

 _"He's definitely Shizuo's more playful side too."_ she had never seen Shizuo so at ease; Kyoko thoughts were interrupted by someone tugging on her sleeve. Though Tsuki was as tall as Shizuo, he seemed to look up at her.

"Um," he cleared his throat and blushed. "I guess I represent Shizuo-sama's insecurities and fears. I'm pretty shy and I'm not that good at expressing myself….but I really love you a lot!"

Kyoko felt herself blushing heavily. _"He's so cute!"_

"Geez, you and Tsugaru are such kiss-ups." Delic said dryly; Tsuki looked abashed while Tsugaru smiled calmly.

"Says the man holding our little bird like she'll fly away." Tsugaru took Kyoko's hand and brushed his lips against the knuckle. "I represent Shizuo-sama's more calm and laid back personality; I wish to protect you and to keep you smiling at all costs."

"Yeah, that's swell, now can we get to the fun part?" Decli stroked Kyoko's cheek and kissed her nose. "How about it babe? Want me to make you feel good?"

"Us!" Tsuki piped up latching onto Kyoko's arm. "We want to make you feel good Kyoko-chan. I'll do my best…"

"H-hold on a second!" Kyoko shooke off their hands; Delic pouted and Tsuki looked ready to cry.

"Let me get this straight." Kyoko said. "You guys are each a different part of Shizuo?"

They nodded.

"Well, where's Shizuo? Where am I? And why are you guys here?" Kyoko asked feeling more frantic. "I mean, I fell asleep next to my boyfriend and now he's gone and now there's three of him. This is really weird."

"You don't like us?" Tsuki asked sadly; Kyoko immediately felt bad as he stared at her with wide pleading eyes.

"No, that's not it at all." Kyoko amended; she gently ruffled Tsuki's hair and he smiled shyly.

"I understand your confusion." Tsugaru said. "I'm not sure what to call this; a dream would be most accurate I suppose. Shizuo is fine at any rate. After all, if he didn't exist we wouldn't be here."

"Okay." Kyoko said warily. "Well, then why are you guys here in the first place?"

Delic smirked. "Haven't you been listening?" he slowly rubbed his hand over Kyoko's arm. "We get a bit tired of being cooped up in the big guy's brain and all. We want to love you too."

Tsugaru nodded. "Please don't feel as if this would make you unfaithful to Shizuo-sama. We are one and the same, we all share his thoughts and feelings. We love you Kyoko."

"We want to make you feel good too." Tsuki nuzzled Kyoko's neck and played with her hair. "Can we?"

Kyoko could feel her breathing speed up. "I-I don't see why not?"

Tsuki's smile was heartbreakingly happy. "We'll be gentle."

"I'm going first!" Delic said; he pulled Kyoko onto his lap with a low laugh. "You guys can just wait outside."

"No fair Delic!" Tsuki cried out, still holding on tightly to Kyoko's arm; it was certainly odd to hear Shizuo's deep voice sound so childish. Kyoko could help smiling in amusement.

"Little one?" Tsugaru said as he came closer and ran a hand through her hair. "What would you like?"

Kyoko bit her lip in thought. "I think...I want all of you at the same time. I love Shizuo, so I want all of him with me."

"Alright babe, whatever you want." Delic conceded; he switched places with Tsugaru and stood at the foot of the bed, shedding off his suit. "But I get the first taste. You need to relax first."

"Hm, she does still seem bit anxious." Tsugaru gently pushed back Kyoko's bangs; as calming as Tsugaru's touch felt, she felt very self conscious under all three of their gazes.

"We'll be careful Kyoko-chan, we promise." Tsuki tugged gently at her shirt. Kyoko smiled and removed it; she had only been wearing underwear and Shizuo's t-shirt to sleep.

"Damn." Delic took in the sight of her boldly; he was already naked. "Hey you two, start stripping. This is for our girl, right?"

Tsugaru chuckled and slipped off his kimono. "Yes, for our little one."

"For Kyoko-chan!" Tsuki grinned shyly and took off his own bartender suit and scarf; he kept on the glasses and Kyoko wondered if he couldn't see without them.

 _"They all have different color eyes even."_ Kyoko mused; Tsugaru's eyes were blue, Tsuki's were red, and Delic's were pink.

 _"Weird. This must be a dream."_ Kyoko thought as she was gently lowered down onto the bed; not that the idea of having sex with what was technically three Shizuo's was unappealing.

"Oh babe." Delic moaned kissing her waist and hips; he tugged at the panties with his teeth. "Are you getting wet already? Haven't even touched you yet…"

"Kyoko-chan, can me and Tsugaru…?"

Tsuki was gazing at her, waiting for her approval. Kyoko nodded and Tsuki took a breast in his hand; he began suckling the nipple gently. Kyoko whimpered as Tsugaru took the other one in his mouth, his arms thrown around her stomach carelessly.

Delic huffed and tore off Kyoko's underwear; he spread her legs and slowly licked her outer folds.

"Ah!" Kyoko gripped onto Tsuki's and Tsugaru's hair.

 _"So cute."_ Delic smirked as he dipped his tongue in and out of her opening; Kyoko tried not push against his mouth, and gripped onto the sheets.

"Kyoko-chan, keep holding onto me." Tsuki said; he took her hand and put it on his shoulder, Tsugaru following his lead with a bemused smile. Tsuki wasn't usually so demanding, unless it came to Kyoko.

"Please!" Kyoko whimpered and cried out as Delic pushed the tip of his tongue directly on her clit; his fingers were insides her and wiggling around playfully.

"Want to hear something?" Delic said lowly. "Shizuo told you he fell for you the first day, but I bet he didn't say anything about that little wet dream of his."

Kyoko could barely think as her nipples were being toyed with, her neck being smothered in wet kisses; it was as if Shizuo was touching every sensitive area on her body.

"H-huh?"

Delic smirked as he kissed her stomach. "Remember how you bought him ice cream that day? Well, in the dream he was licking it off your tits. Ha! And everyone says I'm a pervert."

"Delic, must you be so vulgar?" Tsugaru asked wearily; Kyoko moaned as he nipped at her ear.

"She's not complaining, right babe?" Delic asked as he went back down to lick at her folds. "You know he came in his pants right away. I swear, total virgin. Not that I can blame him; our Kyoko is the best."

"We loved you right away." Tsuki said softly; his head was resting on her shoulder, one hand massaging her breast. "Kyoko-chan is so pretty when she's like this."

"Beautiful." Tsugaru moaned kissing Kyoko deeply; she was already coming from the stimulation, her mouth open in a silent scream.

Delic licked off the cum dripping down his chin. "You okay babe? Do you need some time to rest?"

Kyoko sighed softly as he rubbed her thighs; Tsugaru and Tsuki were looking at her with soft gazes.

"I'm okay." Kyoko smiled sweetly.

"If you're sure, may we continue?" Tsugaru asked; his gaze was lustier than Kyoko remembered. She heard Tsuki whimper and rub his hips against her lightly.

He buried his face in her neck, his face burning with shame. "I want Kyoko-chan now."

Kyoko inhaled sharply as Delic leaned down and bit her bottom lip; his own eyes were hazy as he stared into hers.

"Who's gonna go first?"


	25. Omake: Three in One Pt2

**Author's Note: Still Sexual Content!**

Tsuki nuzzled Kyoko's neck and whimpered; she could feel his erection against her hip.

"I'm already so close. Can I go first?"

"Seriously?" Delic sighed. "You haven't even touched yourself."

"Be quiet, and don't be impatient." Tsugaru scolded Delic. "Lecherous fool."

Tsuki blushed hard and looked away from Delic's smug face. "I-I can't help it! Seeing Kyoko-chan come made me…"

"It's okay." Kyoko held Tsuki's face in her hands; they had Shizuo's gentleness, but Tsuki's stare was completely unguarded. His eyes brightened in happiness as he kissed her lovingly.

"I'll be careful." Tsuki lifted Kyoko's legs and slowly entered her with a gasp.

Kyoko moaned; Tsuki was going almost too slow, but every movement was punctuated with a kiss.

"Thank you." Tsuki moaned. "Kyoko-chan feels so good."

"You can go harder." Kyoko moved her hips faster and reassuringly rubbed his forearm; she could feel him growing firmer and spread her legs so he could go deeper.

Tsuki picked up the pace with a groan as Kyoko tightened up around him. "I'm sorry, don't wanna hurt you."

Kyoko cried out as Tsuki suckled at her right breast. "Tsuki!"

"Do you really love us? All of us?" Tsuki whispered; he looked so sad all of a sudden.

"Of course." Kyoko smiled and held him closer to her. "I love every part of Shizuo; especially when they make me feel so good." she purred and rocked back into his thrusts.

"Kyoko!" Tsuki gripped onto her tightly as he came; Kyoko sighed and shuddered as she felt him softening inside her.

 _"Shit."_ Delic was rubbing himself as he watched Tsuki suck on Kyoko's neck. _"Hurry up Tsuki or I'm not gonna last much longer."_

"Tsuki?" Kyoko held up his chin; tears were falling from his eyes, but he was smiling widely.

"I'm so happy." Tsuki wrapped Kyoko up in his arms and tried not to squeeze her too tightly. "Thank you for loving me."

"Tsuki!" Delic groaned. "Come on, stop hogging her!"

Tsuki pouted and reluctantly released Kyoko; she smiled and gave him one last kiss before Delic swooped in and picked her up.

"Delic, be careful with her." Tsugaru warned; Delic ignored him in favor of kissing Kyoko as he held her against the wall.

"Don't worry babe." Delic held her firmly by her thighs and lowered her onto his shaft. "God you're soaking wet."

Kyoko bit her lip to keep from crying out at the deeper angle; Delic's hands were gentle, but his style was wild and uninhibited as he slammed into her.

"You're a greedy girl wanting all three of us at once." Delic grunted and smirked up as Kyoko sobbed in pleasure. "Letting us take turns with you is so sweet. Shizuo's a lucky fucker to be able to have you any time he wants."

Kyoko's breasts bounced with every thrusts and sweat was rolling down her face.

"Please, I can't take anymore." she whimpered.

"Sh, calm down babe." Delic kept up the pace, but used less force; Kyoko's arms and legs were wrapped around him tightly.

Delic smiled up at her. "I would never hurt you, and neither would Shizuo; still, if another man were to ever touch you, if you ever wanted to leave, do you want to know what I'd make Shizuo do?"

Kyoko screamed as Delic sucked on her neck hard enough to leave a love bite.

"I'd make him fuck you just like this." Delic smiled peacefully as Kyoko thrashed against the wall.

 _"Shizuo definitely isn't this vulgar."_ Kyoko thought absently; she felt ready to explode and Delic wouldn't stop.

"Over and over and over until you could think of nothing but us. We just love you so much."

"In that case, maybe I should make you jealous more often." Kyoko chuckled and leaned down to kiss Delic, her hands stroking up and down his back.

"Oh fuck Kyoko!" Delic cursed and nearly collapsed as his own orgasm overwhelmed him; he pulled out slowly and flopped Kyoko down on the bed. Kyoko whimpered; she had been close to coming herself.

"Shit, sorry babe." Delic kissed her forehead while Tsuki held her tightly. "Want me to-?"

"Gentlemen, I think it's my turn."

Tsugaru motioned for Delic and Tsuki to move aside; they did so, albeit grudgingly.

"Poor thing, you must be tired by now." Tsugaru sat on the edge of the bed and caressed Kyoko's arms and legs for a few seconds; he gently pulled her up until her back was against his.

"Just bear with me little one." Tsugaru gently lifted her up and lowered her down, his shaft filling her back up. Kyoko whimpered; she didn't know how much more she could stand.

"I'm sure you must feel a bit sore," Tsugaru ran his hand from her breasts to her stomach. "Sorry, Delic can get a bit too rough; while we share his enthusiasm, I don't agree with him on one thing."

Kyoko moaned as Tsugaru rocked into her; his movements weren't particularly gentle or wild. Every thrust was hard, but the pace was steady and unfaltering.

"Tsugaru!" Kyoko cried out as he pinched her nipples lightly; both were a bit red and oversensitive.

"If you ever wanted another, I wouldn't touch you, not if you didn't want." Tsugaru said softly. "I may be Shizuo-sama's calm side, but I'm also what reigns him in from killing every man who poses a threat to his love. Our love."

"Ah! Harder, please!" Kyoko leaned against him as his thrust grew a bit sharper; she was nearing her orgasm, and Tsugaru didn't seem like he'd let up until she came.

"I won't willingly let Shizuo-sama kill anyone." Tsugaru groaned as he began to grind himself into Kyoko, reveling in her heat. "But I can't guarantee I will be able to hold back if the situation's dire enough. We will protect you. We will do anything to keep you here in our arms. That's just how we feel."

Tsugaru's pace never once faltered as he bit down on Kyoko's neck.

"You're ours."

"Ours." Tsuki smiled sweetly.

Delic smirked roguishly. "Ours."

"Shizuo!" Kyoko shrieked and convulsed as she felt herself come hard on the shaft still buried deep inside her.

"Kyoko?"

Shizuo looked down on Kyoko as she woke up from her sleep; she looked around wildly, cheeks pink and breathing harshly.

"Shizuo?" Kyoko asked uncertainly.

"Hey, you okay?" Shizuo scooted over to her. "You screamed my name in your sleep. Did you have a nightmare?"

Kyoko grinned sheepishly. "No, not at all."

She gently kissed Shizuo's cheek and pulled him down with her onto the bed.

 _"That was weird. But really hot."_ Kyoko thought as she stroked Shizuo's hair; the brown roots were showing, and she smiled knowing how much Shizuo hated the process of bleaching. _"Pretty elaborate for a dream…was it really all in my head?"_

"Hey, Shizuo?"

"Hm?" Shizuo had already begun to drift back to sleep, feeling more comfortable in Kyoko's bed than he had ever felt in his own.

"Have you ever had a dream about me and ice cream?"

Kyoko would never forget the way Shizuo bolted up and ended up falling hard to the floor and knocking his head into the bed stand on the way down.

 _"There's definitely only one Shizuo."_ she giggled as Shizuo grumbled and began to clean up the remains of the shattered table.


	26. Misconceptions

Kyoko stared at Kasuka blankly as he held out a tiny cat. "Yuigadokunsonmaru?"

"Yes." Kasuka answered. "Dokusonmaru for short. Isn't it cute?"

"Uh...yeah!" Kyoko smiled and picked up the cat gently; it really was adorable, though she wasn't sure how well she would be able to remember it's name. It mewed as she placed it carefully set it on the low table in her living room.

"So, Shizuo told me Doku...your cat has been having problems going to the bathroom?"

Kasuka nodded. "He's been having diarrhea."

"How long has it been happening?" Kyoko asked.

"It's happened about three times in the past month." Kasuka said quietly. "I don't know why."

Kyoko rubbed Dokusonmaru's stomach lightly; he didn't seem particularly sick. His eyes were bright and alert, and he seemed perfectly at ease.

"Hm…" Kyoko thought for a moment. "He looks good, nice coat," she gently looked into Dokusonmaru's mouth. "His gums are pink, healthy teeth...he's pretty small, even for a cat. How old is he?"

"I'm not sure." Kasuka sat next to her on the couch.

Kyoko took a couple of minutes to examine Dokusonmaru. "If I had to make a guess, I would say a couple of years old. He's not a kitten, but the state of his coat and teeth suggest he hasn't reached old age yet."

Kasuka cocked his head slightly. "You can tell?"

"Lot's of people bring in strays to the office." Kyoko explained. "Age is connected to a pet's diet and health information. For example, you wouldn't feed a dog and a puppy the same kind of dog food. I need to be able to reasonably assess the age when owners aren't able to tell me themselves."

"Speaking of diet, what do you usually feed...what was his name again?"

"Dokusonmaru." Kasuka replied he gently scratched the purring cat's ear. "I usually give him a cup of dry food and water each day. Sometimes I give him treats, tuna, and milk."

"Milk?" Kyoko said suddenly. "Oh, that's probably why he hasn't been feeling too good. Most cats are lactose intolerant. There's lactose free milk you can buy from most pet stores, though it can be pricey."

"I'm sorry." Kasuka said soberly as he patted his cat's head; Dokusonmaru gave him a look that suggested he understood. Kyoko giggled and got up from the couch; she returned with a small white mouse.

"Here." she smiled and placed the toy in front of Dokusonmaru; he immediately began to bat it in between his paws, chasing it around the living room floor.

"Thank you Kyoko." Kasuka reached for his wallet. "What do I owe you?"

"What?" Kyoko laughed incredulously. "You don't owe me anything; besides, this isn't really an official doctor's appointment or anything. It's just a favor."

"Alright. Thank you." Kasuka relaxed into the couch and watched Dokusonmaru play with the mouse. "And thank you for taking care of my brother. I know he's a handful, but he loves you."

Kyoko blushed. "There's no reason to thank me. I can't imagine life without Shizuo; I just want him to be happy."

"Isn't he?" Kasuka asked. "He seems happier than he's been in a long time."

"It's just that he's always worrying about his power; he can't shake the feeling that I'll stop loving him because of his strength. No." Kyoko said. "It's like he thinks he can't love me the way he is, like his feelings aren't as valid as anyone else's."

"I was never scared of Shizuo." Kasuka said tonelessly. "He's quick to anger, but his nature isn't spiteful. I don't think he can see this as clearly me or you."

Kyoko smiled wearily. "Yeah. I'm really happy he has you and your parents. Celty, Shinra, Vorona, Tom, Simon...so many people care about him, but Shizuo doesn't seem to see that a lot of people really do like him."

After a few minutes, Kasuka spoke up. "Does he always wear the suits I got him?"

"Always." Kyoko nodded with a grin. "Except when he goes to sleep. Did you know he sleep talks sometimes?"

"Does it scare you?" Kasuka picked up Dokusonmaru and scratched his belly; the cat purred and kicked playfully at his hand.

"Actually, it's really cute." Kyoko sighed and giggled. She remembered several nights waking up to Shizuo mumbling and growling; his limbs would twitch and she was grateful he didn't accidentally hit her in his sleep. It was a bit like watching a dog dream in it's sleep.

"Most women get scared once they see my brother angry." Kasuka commented. "I can't say I blame them. It's an intimidating transformation. I'm a bit envious."

"The first time I saw him angry, I was awe struck in all honesty." Kyoko admitted with a careless shrug. "At first I thought he was sweet and cute."

"Then?"

"Then I saw him in action and found out he was badass! Shizuo is so much more than I ever would have guessed." Kyoko grinned guiltily. "I guess it isn't something I should admire, especially since it brings him so much grief."

Kasuka stared at her. "You're not exactly normal then either."

"Me?" Kyoko blinked. "I guess not, but no one really is right?"

"You have a good point." Kasuka's eyes brightened in amusement. "I know most people think of me as emotionless. I suppose I'm like this because of how Shizuo is. In a way, we're both abnormal. He's very happy you accept him as is he."

"But you're both good people. As far as I'm concerned that's all that matters." Kyoko said kindly. She jumped slightly from an abrupt knock on her door.

"Is Ruri-chan meeting us?" Kyoko asked.

Kasuka shook his head. "She has a photo shoot that's going on for another hour."

Kyoko opened her front door and Shizuo burst into the room short of breath and eyes wild.

"Shizuo? Why didn't you use your key?" Kyoko asked bewildered; he lived there too after all.

"Forgot it." Shizuo mumbled. "What's Kasuka doing here?"

Kyoko refrained from slapping him upside the head; she wished she had never told Shizuo she was a Yuhei Hanejima fan.

"Dokusonmaru needed a check up, remember?" Kyoko said patiently; Shizuo opened his mouth and closed it a few times.

"Oh...well, I thought he was going to your work to get him checked out?"

"Kasuka wanted to drop off his house warming present." Kyoko pointed to the vase full of sunflowers. "Besides, this way I don't have to charge him for service."

"Oh." Shizuo could feel sweat running down his neck and he looked abashed as he sat down next to Kasuka on the couch.

"I need to go and pick up Ruri." Kasuka said; he picked up Dokusonmaru, who was still had the toy in his mouth.

"Thank you very much." Kasuka nodded politely to Kyoko. "I'll make sure to be more conscious of what I feed him. Don't forget to call mom later Shizuo, she wants Kyoko over for dinner again soon."

"Yeah, I will." Shizuo still looked a bit embarrassed.

"If you have any other concerns, don't hesitate to contact me!" Kyoko smiled and waved as Kasuka left; when the door was shut, she looked at Shizuo with a tired glare.

"What?" Shizuo asked defensively; he shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

"Shizuo." Kyoko sighed and plopped down next to him. "Please tell me you don't think me and your brother are seeing each other behind your back or something?"

"No! Kasuka would never do that shit and I know you wouldn't do something like that either!" Shizuo exclaimed hurriedly; he seemed conflicted, trying to find the right words to describe his predicament. "It's just...I know you're a fan. I don't know...even if I know it won't happen, I still feel like maybe you'll look at him and maybe you'll wish you had met him instead or -"

Kyoko sighed and smiled; she wrapped her arms around him and snuggled into his chest. Shizuo looked down at her somewhat surprised.

"You're not mad?" he tentatively hugged her back.

Kyoko shook her head. "As long as you trust me, I can understand you have your insecurities. I have my own honestly."

Shizuo pulled back to stare at her. "Seriously?"

"Well, you're really good looking." Kyoko said. "I'm sure even if other women are scared of you, they're probably still willing to admit you're hot. Or maybe your strength will turn them on too!" Kyoko laughed sheepishly "Besides, I know I can be scatterbrained and immature."

"You're fine the the way you are and if anyone says otherwise I'll fucking pulverize them." Shizuo said lightly.

"I think that's a bit much."


	27. Rumors

"Did you guys here the rumors about Shizuo Heiwajima?"

"What?"

"He's got a girlfriend."

"Yeah, that blonde chick right? That's old news dude."

"No, not her, this other chick. I heard the blonde is actually his long lost sister. She got taken in by Russian spies who plan on training both her and Heiwajima."

"That sounds really fucking stupid."

"Hey screw you."

"Wait, so if the blonde's not his woman, what about this other chick?"

"That's just it man, word is she's a total nobody. No one knows anything on her and this one guy heard Heiwajima has her stay away from him in public so the Awakusu or one of the small time gangs don't kidnap her for leverage."

"What, so no one's even seen her? How do they even know she's real?"

"Well, I don't know personally, but I've heard people talking about him taking some girl out to eat and she walks around with him all the time."

"Can she fight too?"

"Don't think so."

"She must be crazy than or she's using him like an attack dog."

"Yeah, I heard Shizuo Heiwajima's totally whipped. Hey, maybe this is our chance to take him down."

"Huh? What the fuck are you smoking?"

"Come on man, think about it! We kidnap this chick and we won't let her go unless Heiwajima agrees to work for us. His girl can't fight right? It sounds like easy pickings!"

Tom watched warily as Shizuo stared directly ahead without blinking; unbeknownst to the two young men sitting in the adjacent booth of the restaurant, Shizuo and Tom had heard every word of their conversation.

 _"Oh shit."_ Tom thought as the spoon Shizuo was using to eat his parfait was bent in half; his anxiety doubled as Shizuo stood up and ground the crumpled spoon under his foot.

"Come on Shizuo, they're just a couple of punks. Don't go crazy."

The shorter of the two young men looked up curiously as he heard the sound of metal fall to the floor; his eyes widened in horror as Shizuo slowly went to his table.

"Dude." the other boy's gaze was also glued to the vein threatening to burst out of Shizuo's temple. "You gotta be kidding me…" he whispered.

"Hey."

Both of the teens immediately tensed; they were not particularly cowardly by any means, but they were also not completely stupid. Perhaps it was this stupidity that made them fail to notice the very noticeable Shizuo Heiwajima in the first place, but at least they had enough sense to be terrified.

"Y-yes?"

Shizuo's nostrils were flaring as he spoke quietly.

"You guys were planning on kidnapping my woman?"

"What?! No no no, that was just a joke, really!"

"Yeah, we were just talking shit, we wouldn't actually-"

"It's pretty obvious you two are a couple of dicks." Shizuo interrupted. "Not to mention you're probably way over your heads and have about as much sense as a public school dropout."

Shizuo's voice grew rougher with every word, his fists clenched in his pockets; he briefly unfurled one to put away his sunglasses. He wanted to get a good look at their faces before he smashed them in.

"So, I'll let you off with a warning this one time." Shizuo grinned widely, but this did nothing to calm down the teenagers. They half expected him to grow fangs, a completely ridiculous idea, but fear does funny things to the mind.

"If you and any other asshole in this town ever try to use Kyoko to get to me, I personally guarantee, any scratch, any mark, any threat you even think of doing to her will be returned with a flick to the forehead."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Huh?" The shorter of the two young men frowned in confusion while the other subconsciously checked his ears for water.

"Yep." Shizuo nodded. "Like this."

Tom quickly dragged Shizuo out of the diner as the two young men lay slumped over in their seats, their faces smashed into their plates.

"Sorry Tom." Shizuo said; he didn't look guilty by any means. "We didn't get to finish lunch."

"Eh, that was better than last time." Tom smiled wearily as they walked side by side; Shizuo looked oddly satisfied. Usually he was left feeling ashamed of his outbursts, even if they were justified.

"Let's go see if Simon has that combo platter still on sale, I'll treat this time." Shizuo offered.

Tom waved him off. "Hey, you're already tight on cash. How about you just share the next lunch Kyoko packs you? I don't know where she finds the time to make all that stuff…"

Shizuo frowned. "If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't be in danger."

"Kyoko's pretty anonymous." Tom said lightly. "Besides, no one around here who's an actual threat will try anything. They know better than to mess with you."

 _"I'll protect her."_ Shizuo swore to himself firmly; he still couldn't help feel a creeping sense of worry gnaw at him. _"But that's not really what I'm scared of. I know I could protect her from other people, but what about me? What if I end up hurting her too?"_

"Shizuo, don't sweat it." Tom spoke up suddenly; Shizuo was a lot easier to read than he knew. "It's no use worrying about stuff that hasn't even happened."

"Yeah, I know." Shizuo sighed; he thought of Kyoko's earlier words, how even if he ended up breaking every bone in her body, she would stay. He couldn't quite describe exactly how it made him feel, but the relief was clear.

Tom patted his back. "Kyoko loves you. Heck, you've smashed nearly every piece of furniture in that apartment, but she's still hanging in there."

Shizuo grimaced; luckily Kyoko had a better paying job and knew where to get decent furniture for bargain prices, particularly at this thrift shop a few blocks away. He wished he could say the people working at the store didn't know Kyoko by her first name by now, but…

"You know, I bet Kyoko's gonna be really happy when you tell her how you saved her from another potential kidnapping." Tom smiled encouragingly; Shizuo visibly perked up at the thought.

"Maybe she'll make me yakitori again. She makes me a chocolate shake instead of beer to go with it, and the chicken is always charred just right." Shizuo said with a hint of bragging.

"Yeah and you can share it with me for lunch"

"..."


	28. Remembering

As Shizuo lay dozing under the warm sheets next to his cute girlfriend, he knew that this was the most perfect moment of his life and nothing could possibly ruin it.

"Isn't it so weird Shizuo?" Kyoko whispered and held him close. "Tomorrow we'll have been together for a whole year. Time sure does fly."

"Yeah, it does doesn't it?" Shizuo said lightly.

 _"FUCK! It's our anniversary tomorrow?! Shit shit shit shit shit. Is she expecting a gift? Dammit this is bad, I didn't even think about anniversaries; I'm so fucked. Dammit, that's what she marked down on the calendar! Why the hell didn't I think of that?! Wait, she's looking at me. What's she saying? Say something stupid! No, wait, just nod. Be cool."_

Shizuo grunted and gave her a small nod.

Kyoko looked ready to cry. "You think I'm ugly?"

 _"What? Oh fuck you fucking idiot!"_

Shizuo shook his head rapidly and looked away sheepishly. "I'm sorry Kyoko, I spaced out. What was the question?"

"Just kidding, that was a bluff." Kyoko smiled and stuck out her tongue playfully. "I was actually asking what you wanted me to make for our dinner tomorrow. It's a special occasion, so I'll make something really good."

"Anything you make will be delicious." Shizuo assured her.

"I've already planned out ten different dishes! I should probably narrow it down though...oh, I'm just so excited, I've been looking forward to our first anniversary!" Kyoko snuggled against him with a squeak of joy. "Just wait until you see what I got you; I think you're really gonna like it~!"

"You've put a lot of thought into this huh?" Shizuo asked her softly. "You shouldn't put in so much effort on my account."

"But I want to." Kyoko laughed. "I love you, and I want to make tomorrow special. You always make me so happy, tomorrow is a day for us to celebrate each other."

 _"How did I end up with someone so sweet?"_ Shizuo sighed and just held her, full of quiet determination. _"Right after work tomorrow I'm going to get her a gift. Something just for her, something she'll love. It'll be the best gift she's ever gotten!"_

Fast forward to the next day and Shizuo had destroyed a bike rack, ten street signs, a fire hydrant, and some guy's face.

"Shizuo," Tom sighed wearily. "You know this means I can't pay you for the day."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry." Shizuo mumbled.

"Are you going to be able to afford your part of the rent this month?" Tom asked with concern. "I can loan you money, but the company will take it out of your check later bit by bit afterward."

"No. We already paid rent earlier this month and Kyoko pays for utilities." Shizuo gritted his teeth and ground his discarded cigarette under his foot. "What kind of man am I that I make my girlfriend pay for most of our expenses?"

"Hey, Kyoko understands." Tom said. "She makes more even without you getting docked for property damage anyway." Tom smiled kindly. "Besides, she's not with with you for your money."

"That's no excuse." Shizuo growled; he didn't mean to snap at Tom, but he was so frustrated. He didn't mention about not being able to afford a gift. Tom had enough to worry about.

" _It's nearly time for dinner and I don't have anything to give Kyoko."_ Shizuo trudged up the stairs to their apartment. _"I'm a lousy boyfriend. First I forget our anniversary and then I can't control myself for one day so I can buy her one stinking gift."_

"Shizuo, Happy anniversary!" Kyoko flung her arms around him and kissed him deeply; Shizuo gently pushed her off, steeling himself for what he'd have to do next.

"Hey, what's up?" Kyoko asked worriedly.

"I have to tell you something." Shizuo began. "I'm just going to come out and say it; I didn't remember our anniversary and I wasn't able to afford to even get you a last minute gift because I got docked at work today."

"You...didn't remember?" Kyoko's face fell.

Shizuo gulped. "No. I'm so sorry."

Kyoko's arms dropped to her sides; she really did look ready to cry and Shizuo felt a surge of anger. He hated it. This strength, this rage that always boiled under the surface, this useless, troublesome power; if he didn't have it, he would have a good, honest job, and he would be reliable and able to take care of the woman he loved.

"Kyoko, I swear I'll make it up to you." Shizuo said firmly.

"Shizuo, I don't care about the present...but why didn't you remember?" Kyoko asked softly. "Isn't it important to you?"

"Of course it is!" Shizuo said gripping her shoulders. "Kyoko, everyday you're with me I'm not paying attention to the date. I just try to figure out how the hell you ended up falling for someone like me. You're smart and nice and cute; you're _normal_ and not fucking insane. I don't know how I got so lucky and this whole year had just been a blur of happiness and I just can't wrap my mind around it even now-"

"Oh Shizuo." Kyoko's smile was breathtakingly happy. "That's so sweet. Knowing you feel that way is worth more than any present you could give me. I'm sorry I doubted you."

"Don't apologize." Shizuo rubbed her head.

"Oh, here!" Kyoko tugged him into the kitchen; food was spread out all over their table. "I made us hotpot! I figured it's more variety that way."

"It looks great babe. Thank you, I'm starving." Shizuo pulled out a chair for her, but Kyoko shook her head with a smile; she skipped over to the living room and came back with what looked like a photo album.

"Here's your gift." she said; Shizuo took it and opened to see the first page. There was a pressed wild daisy and a picture of them sitting side by side at the park. He flipped to the next page and there was two movie ticket stubs, a piece of chipped concrete, and a soda can tab.

"This is a sort of scrapbook." Kyoko explained. "Remember our movie date? You smashed a hole in the sidewalk when that vending machine stole my change. And the machine of course."

Shizuo stared at the next page; next was a candy wrapper and a picture of Kyoko in front of the large fountain; Shizuo's blurred profile was off to the side, running after Izaya with a stop sign. Kyoko was smiling apologetically at the man she had asked to photograph them.

"Oh yeah. I got you your favorite candy as an apology for running off. Sorry bout that." Shizuo smiled sheepishly. "How long have you been collecting this stuff?"

"Maybe a month or two after we started dating." Kyoko replied. "I wasn't sure what to do with them. I just began picking up little things and saving them. I'd put them away in a box and it wasn't until a few months ago I got the idea to put it all into a scrapbook of our first year together."

She leaned against Shizuo as he slowly flipped through the book; there were things in there he couldn't even recall the significance of, things he didn't think meant much at the time; a red maple leaf from one of their walks, a bent up coin Shizuo had used to intimidate a guy who tried to snatch her purse, even a printout of the first 'I love you' Shizuo had texted her.

 _"They mean a lot to her. I mean a lot to her."_ Shizuo felt his heart swell up at the last enlarged photo; they were lying in bed, him fast asleep and Kyoko resting against his chest. She had taken a photo of them with her phone; her grin stretched across her whole face

"You look like you won the lottery." Shizuo commented.

"You love me. It's basically the same thing." Kyoko laughed and kissed his cheek; Shizuo flushed happily.

"Keep saying stuff like that and I'll go crazy." Shizuo nuzzled her neck; she shrieked when he move his hand up her skirt.

"Shizuo, no!" Kyoko smacked his hand away with a pout. "Dinner first. I took the day off to make it."

"Okay, okay." Shizuo gently put the book down on the table and hugged her. "I love it. Thank you."

"Come on, let's eat!" Kyoko pulled him up and he pushed their chairs close together so they could share a plate.

"Happy anniversary." Shizuo fed her a piece of meat carefully.

"Happy anniversary." Kyoko leaned in to whisper in his ear. "You know, it's not over yet, and I know something you can give me as a present." she pushed aside their empty plate and sat in his lap, her skirt riding up her thighs.

Shizuo grinned and slowly stroked the exposed skin. "If that's what you want babe."


	29. What Was Missing

The great thing about being in a comfortable relationship was that at some point you stopped caring about being naked in front of your partner.

They had been together about a year and a half now, and Kyoko felt quite at ease lying next to Shizuo in just her underwear and vice versa. It wasn't always a sexual thing. They could just be lying in bed side by side relaxing; Shizuo would lay his head on Kyoko's bare lap without feeling the immediate urge to tear off her panties, Kyoko could lean against him while he was shirtless without feeling the need to run her hands up and down his lean chest.

Well, sometimes.

"Kyoko?"

"Hm?" Shizuo played with her hair as she dozed off next to him.

"Can we have sex again before you go?"

"I'm really tired Shizuo." Kyoko snuggled up to him with apologetic eyes. "I need to get up early to leave for my flight."

"Okay." Shizuo frowned; Kyoko sighed when he looked away from her in disappointment.

"You're such a baby you know that?" Kyoko made him face her; part of her felt exasperated, but the other part of her felt like laughing. Shizuo was adorable when he sulked.

"I'm not being a baby." he grumbled.

Kyoko stroked his hair. "I made lunch for you tomorrow. It's your favorite and I even made you chocolate chip cookies for dessert."

"...Did you put in the chunky chocolate chips?"

"Yes." she kissed his cheek as he smiled happily. "It's not even for a whole week Shizuo. I'm sure it'll be nice to have the place to yourself for a while, right?"

The next morning Kyoko had woken up Shizuo for a goodbye kiss before she left; Shizuo was barely awake for it and kicked himself later.

Tom greeted him with a sympathetic smile. "Good morning. Kyoko already left?"

Shizuo grunted in assent; Tom began walking, Shizuo silently trailing behind him.

"Hey, don't be so down. I feel bad that she's gone on your week off though..." Tom said with a frown.

"Yeah, what can you do?" Shizuo shrugged; the rest of the day he spent mumbling and grumbling when he wasn't yelling at every other person who looked at him. He ate his food slowly at lunch, as if it was the last meal he'd ever eat.

Later that day he met up with Celty and she waved brightly in greeting; she had the day off and was going to go to dinner with Shinra later. When she asked him why he seemed off, Shizuo explained about Kyoko's trip.

"She's going to watch her great aunt's house while she's in the hospital." Shizuo puffed at his cigarette glumly. "She's the only relative who isn't scum. Kyoko offered to stay even longer, but her aunt's nephew said they'd only need her in town for a bit."

"Well, that's good right? She'll be back before you know it."

Shizuo shrugged as he read Celty's response. "I'm glad she's excited to visit family she gets along with, but…"

Celty waited patiently.

"I know this sounds crazy, but what if she doesn't come back?" Shizuo laughed humorlessly. "Yeah that's dumb. If I really believed it, I wouldn't have let her leave."

 _"How can he say that so nonchalantly?"_ Celty wondered; maybe Shinra was rubbing off on Shizuo after all these years.

"I always wanted to make connections with people you know. I never really thought I'd actually fall in love and have the feeling returned, especially not by someone like Kyoko." Shizuo growled in frustration. "Now that I know what it's like, having her gone for even a few days makes me feel lonelier than I've ever felt."

Shizuo finished his cigarette and ground it under his shoe. "Damn, I forgot. I promised Kyoko I'd limit my cigarettes to two in the morning. I've had five already."

Celty put a hand on his shoulder gently.

"Yeah, I know." Shizuo smiled sheepishly. "I really should quit all together. Kyoko doesn't say much about it, but I can tell it bothers her. She's always worrying about me."

He smiled broadly thinking of the little sticky notes Kyoko put on every pack of American Spirits; they'd usually have the same message to be careful and that cigarettes were bad for him. She always signed off with 'I love you'.

Celty typed a quick message. "She's a good person and so are you. Take care of yourself, for both your sakes."

Shizuo patted her shoulder, nearly knocking her over. "Okay, thanks, sorry for complaining to you. Later Celty."

She nodded with a reassuring wave and drove off; Shizuo sighed and went back home feeling a bit better.

His mood was severely diminished when he came home to an empty apartment; his face fell and he realized Kyoko wasn't there to make him dinner. He boiled some water and waited for his instant ramen to cook.

Four days passed by and Shizuo had established a routine; wake up in the morning, lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling for a few hours, watch TV, go back to sleep, walk around town aimlessly, binge on instant ramen and junk food, and go to sleep. On the fourth day he went through two packs of cigarettes.

That night Kyoko called his phone; he nearly sent it smashing to the floor in his haste to pick up.

"Hey babe." Shizuo tried to sound calm. "How's your aunt?"

 _"Are you coming home soon? When? Do you miss me? I miss you so much. I'm really hungry. When are you coming home?"_

"Hey Shizuo, I hope everything's going okay there. My aunt needs me to stay here for another few days. I might not be back until next week."

Silence.

"Shizuo?" Kyoko called into the phone; she stared at it confusedly. "Shizuo? Are you still there?"

"Um, yeah I'm here. Everything's fine." Shizuo wiped the spilled ramen broth off his stained shirt. "I understand. I hope she feels better soon."

"She's feeling much better already; still cracking the jokes and all that. One of her nurses nearly dropped her medication all over the floor after her joke about the priest and the prostitute nun!" Kyoko giggled; she sighed lightly. "I miss you Shizuo. I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay." Shizuo said and hung up before he could say anything else; he threw out the rest of his ramen and went to bed.

The next day he ran into Tom and Vorona on their route.

"Shizuo-senpai looks ill." she commented bluntly. "Is it because Kyoko is gone?"

Tom grimaced lightly. _"Crap, did she have to say it out loud?"_

"Don't worry about me." Shizuo smiled halfheartedly at Vorona and patted her head gently. "I'll see you guys later. I need to do some grocery shopping."

"Sure man. See you Monday." Tom said; he and Vorona shared a quick look as Shizuo slowly walked away.

 _"I thought maybe talking to someone would make me feel better."_ Shizuo thought as he picked out a bag of chips and and a box of individually wrapped cakes. At the last minute he decided against alcohol. _"Why can't she come home now?"_

Shizuo trudged back into his apartment with two bags full of what used to be his regular diet before he and Kyoko lived together; he didn't know much about cooking in the first place. He always lost his temper and dinged up the utensils and pots. Besides, he had Kyoko now.

 _"What if she never comes back?_ " Shizuo shook his head and glared at nothing. _"Dammit stop being paranoid. It hasn't even been a whole week."_

 _"But what if she realizes how easier her life is without someone breaking the furniture regularly? Her aunt may offer for her to stay permanently; she's always wanted to be closer to her family. Kyoko…"_

Shizuo bit his lip and unlocked the front door, preparing himself. _"Get used to this. You're going to be coming home to nothing for the rest of your life."_

"Shizuo!" Kyoko threw her arms around him and planted a big kiss on his cheek; Shizuo dropped his bags in surprise and instinctively wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Kyoko." he burrowed his face into her neck and inhaled; she smelled like oranges. He nearly forgot. "Kyoko."

"They let out my aunt early. I think they might have wanted her out of there…" Kyoko smiled sheepishly; the grin disappeared as Shizuo continued to cling to her silently. "You okay? This place is a mess." she frowned slightly. "Shizuo, did you throw a party or something while I was gone?"

Kyoko tried to pry him off her, but Shizuo hold was like iron; she looked down at the bags.

"Did you buys chips and snack cakes for dinner? And why are there cigarette butts everywhere?" Kyoko asked with a chuckle. "Honestly, I can't leave you alone for a second."

"Then don't." Shizuo mumbled into her hair. "Don't leave again. You were gone for so long."

 _"Huh? I was only gone for five days."_ Kyoko thought as Shizuo sighed in relief.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere." Kyoko assured him. "It's not like I was going to abandon you."

"I know." Shizuo frowned in embarrassment. "I just…"

"How about you help me make some real food?" Kyoko smiled and led him to the kitchen; she pecked his cheek again. "I really did miss you. It's good to be home."

Shizuo smiled as she instructed him on how to dice the onions without stabbing though the cutting board. _"It's not home without you."_


	30. A Future Together

"Hey Shizuo, whatcha looking at?"

Shizuo slammed down the lid of the laptop.

"Ah shit." He carefully opened the lid and looked at the cracked screen; the website was still up, but the screen was totaled.

Kyoko sighed. "Thank god for that two year warranty."

"Sorry."

"Just try to be more careful. What in the world did you not want me to see?" Kyoko asked. "If it's porn, it's okay. I mean, I know men have their needs and and I didn't want to say anything, but I found that magazine-"

"No!" Shizuo looked severely offended. "I only bought that magazine to get ideas for different positions. Don't be stupid. You're the only woman I look at."

"Oh." Kyoko blushed. "Hey, don't try to get out of telling me what you were looking at!" she pouted as she peered over his shoulder, her cheeks still flushed.

"Huh….you have a Pintrest?"

"Yeah, so?" Shizuo grumbled. "I get all kinds of recipes on it. There's this one for red velvet cake I was hoping you'd make."

Kyoko raised an eyebrow. "Is that it? Why would you hide that from me?" she reached over quickly and scrolled down; Shizuo froze as she stared blankly at the cracked screen.

There were pictures of dresses, cakes, flowers, rings.

"Oh my god." Kyoko smiled broadly. "You have a wedding Pintrest!?"

Shizuo yanked the computer away. "Shut up!"

"I'm so sorry Shizuo, I don't mean to laugh!" Kyoko gasped. "It's just so unexpected."

"Still, is that why you didn't want me to see? You know I wouldn't care if you had something like this." Kyoko said after she had calmed down.

Shizuo shrugged. "I figured you might have felt pressured if you saw I was doing research." he sighed tiredly. "Well, it looks like we can't have the traditional Shinto wedding anyway, not on my salary."

"You wanted to do that kind?!" Kyoko exclaimed. "That'll take forever!"

"I always liked the idea of a traditional wedding." Shizuo shrugged. "I thought you'd look good in the wedding kimono…"

"Aw Shizuo, I think you'd look great in the groom's attire!" Kyoko hugged his arm to her with a wide grin. "It all sounds nice, but I really don't care how we do it, just as long as it's official. Besides, we wouldn't be able to have a proper ceremony with or without the money."

Shizuo frowned. "Why not?"

Kyoko's smile faltered. "Well, there's a few parts where we'd need both of our parents there. Like the sake drinking ritual. But, well-" Kyoko trailed off sadly; she didn't want to bring up her parents for two reasons. Firstly, Shizuo might crush the laptop in his bare hands; second, it would distract her from the happiness she felt knowing Shizuo was looking forward to their future together.

"I didn't think of that." Shizuo glared.  
"Hey, don't worry about it." Kyoko said quickly. "Really, it's not a big deal or anything."

"Shut up, of course it's a big deal!" Shizuo ground out. "Your family should be supportive of you, no matter who you are or what you do for a living! They're bastards, not even bothering to check up on their own daughter despite knowing you're dating a monster."

"Don't say that." Kyoko scolded. "I don't like it when you say stuff like that."

Shizuo crossed his arms stubbornly; he hated when she avoided the subject of her absentee family. She should be standing up for herself, not brushing it off like it was normal, like it wasn't wrong, like it didn't mean anything to her.

"I know it hurts you. It's bullshit, what your parents did. You're too complacent about it. If you won't complain, then I'll raise hell about it for you."

Kyoko stared at him, not sure of what to say. Shizuo didn't pretend to understand her situation, but she was oddly grateful. In all honesty, she felt a bit envious; Kyoko had only met his parents on a handful of occasions, and while they seemed worried with Shizuo's antics, it was clear they loved both their sons dearly. Kyoko didn't think much of her own family, but seeing Shizuo's made her wish things could've been different.

"It's no use hating them." Kyoko said calmly. "There's no point missing something you didn't know of. Shizuo, please don't think about it more than you have to." she smiled peacefully. "If I could change the past and it turned out doing so would make me not know you, then I'd rather have things exactly the way they are now."

"I'm not worth missing out on a happy family you airhead." Shizuo replied lowly. Kyoko shook her head with an amused smile.

"I'm happy now though." Kyoko retorted sticking out her tongue. "Dumbass."

"Takes one to know one." Shizuo poked her forehead; it had the force of a flick that would come from a normal man's fingers.

"Ow." Kyoko pouted. "I bruise easily you know."

"Come off it." Shizuo snorted, but couldn't hide the concern in his eyes. "...did it hurt?"

"No, just messing with you!" Kyoko grinned.

"Hey Kyoko?"

"Yeah?" she asked brightly.

Shizuo wrapped his arms around her protectively. "After we get married, you'll belong to a real family. You'll have a mother and father; my parents love you. Kasuka will be your brother and Ruri will be your sister. And I'll be your husband."

Kyoko felt her eyes sting at the sureness of his words. "...really?"

"Yep." Shizuo nodded confidently. "And I'll tell you one more thing."

"What would that be?" Kyoko asked playfully.

Shizuo moved his hands up and down her arms mindlessly; Kyoko felt goosebumps from his touch.

"I promise," he kissed her neck. "I'll be gentle on our wedding night."

Kyoko turned to look at him in confusion despite the warmth gathering in her stomach. "But we've already-"

"It's different when it's your wedding night." Shizuo insisted. "Not that every time isn't meaningful, but that time is even more special, you know? It's the day you become part of something bigger than yourself and it's the night we consummate that."

"Right." Kyoko smiled softly. "Wow, you make it all sound so romantic. Do you have a secret addiction for otome games you're not telling me about?" her smile turned teasing. "Or maybe you read those romance novels for lonely housewives when no one's looking?"

Shizuo growled. "I'd never read that trash. I'm not some pervert!"

Kyoko pressed herself against him with a coy smile. "I don't mind if it's for more research. Especially with what you did to me the other night." she held him tightly. "You kept going until I was shaking. I thought I was going to pass out."

"Fuck." Shizuo cursed as she kissed his neck. "Don't, come on babe, I have to get to work soon."

"Oh alright." Kyoko conceded. "You know, I was thinking, what if we abstained?"

"Abstained?"

"You know, some couples who are already having sex abstain from doing so before their wedding night." Kyoko said. "I'm not sure when I'll be ready for marriage though, so we might have to wait a while."

"Hell. No."

Kyoko blinked innocently, trying to contain her laughter. "But it's tradition."

"In that case, tradition can go fuck itself." Shizuo scowled; to Kyoko's surprise, his expression turned to a feral smirk. "Besides, I'll probably end up killing someone from the frustration. Maybe it's selfish, but I need you to keep me happy."

Kyoko shook her head with a gentle smile. "No, it's not. Because I feel the same way."


	31. There Goes the Neighborhood

"Good morning Kyoko-chan."

"Morning Kaede-san." Kyoko smiled politely at her older neighbor. "How are you feeling? I heard from your daughter that the doctor put you on new pain medication."

The older woman nodded, the fringes of her bob swaying with every movement. "Yes, Dr. Ginji said these pills shouldn't cause any allergic reactions."

Kyoko smiled. "That's good. How're your knees?"

"Oh, they feel better today." Kaede laughed. "Don't need a wheelchair just yet."

"I'm really glad to hear that." Kyoko said and gave her a thumbs up. "I better see if Shizuo's ready for our date before it gets too late. Have a nice day Kaede-san!"

"Oh, do you have just a second dear?" Kaede said hesitantly. "There's just something I've been meaning to ask and up until now…"

Kyoko stopped and looked at her curiously. "Are you not feeling well?"

"Oh no, I'm fine! It's you I'm worried about." Kaede explained. "I didn't want to say anything in front of...your husband?"

"Oh no, Shizuo and I aren't married yet." Kyoko blushed. "Wait, why didn't you want to talk in front of him? I know Shizuo can seem scary, but he's really a very kind person." Kyoko explained; she really didn't want this sweet old lady to be frightened.

"It's just…" Kaede sighed. "Kyoko-chan, is he ever violent with you? Now please, don't get upset!" Kaede said seeing Kyoko's expression. "Shizuo-kun seems like a nice young man, but I've been hearing things coming from your apartment."

"What have you been hearing? I mean, he's broken some furniture, but that was by accident. He really can't control his strength, but he would never, ever intentionally hurt me." Kyoko said.

"No, it's not the sound of things breaking I heard." Kaede looked around before lowering her voice. "Now these old ears aren't as good as they used to be I'll admit, but I was certain I heard yelling coming from your apartment the other night. Maybe yelling isn't the right word." Kaede searched for the right description. "It was...growling. Roaring almost, but I could hear swearing, or at least that's what it sounded like." she looked at Kyoko with wide eyes. "Oh dear, don't tell me you adopted one of those illegal wild animals. I know an alligator seems like a 'cool pet' but it's a real hassle and one of you could really be hurt."

"Uh, no, we don't have any pets." Kyoko could feel her face burning as Kaede looked at her with fuzzy eyes. "Wow, um, this is kind of embarrassing…"

"So you don't have a wild animal in your apartment?"

 _"Well, sort of. And did she have a pet alligator!?"_ Kyoko wondered; instead of voicing these thoughts, she just smiled blithely.

"Uh, you see, Shizuo is using this new kind of exercise program to...tire himself out!" Kyoko explained, inwardly congratulating herself for her quick thinking. "You see, he thinks that once he works out enough, he can expend all the extra energy and he won't be as able to use his unrestrained strength and accidentally smash things! The program is really intense though, so you were probably just hearing him yell from the strain of it all. I'll ask him to try to keep it down, I know you need your rest Kaede-san."

The older woman eyed her steadily. "You two were going at it like rabbits weren't you?"

Kyoko froze before sighing in defeat. "Yeah. I'm so sorry! I can't tell you how embarrassing this is!"

"Oh don't worry about it. I'd rather it be that; I was worried that maybe he was hurting you." Kaede said gently. "But if a sweet young woman like you is willing to make up such a ridiculous story to keep from making him uncomfortable, he must be something."

Kyoko laughed weakly. "Shizuo is really private about this sort of thing. He'd die if he knew you heard him."

"Well, I have to say, he really sounds like he's enjoying himself." Kaede grinned wickedly.

"Uh, yeah…"

"I mean, he sounded like he was killing somebody, but he must have just really been into it! Talk about the-what's it called? The beast with two backs?"

"Yeah, that's-"

"I mean, wow, Shizuo-kun sounded like he was getting his freak on-"

"Kaede-san!" Kyoko sputtered. "Please don't tell him you heard!"

"Of course not!" Kaede assured her. "I'm as silent as the grave."

 _"Are you?!"_ Kyoko wanted to yell.

"Good morning ma'am." Shizuo greeted with a small bow as he stepped out of the apartment; he smiled softly at Kyoko before resuming his sober demeanor. He was still getting used to conversing with elders, though Kaede candidness was a bit shocking for someone so much older.

 _"Imagine his reaction if he heard her."_ Kyoko breathed a sigh of relief that Shizuo wasn't as good at getting up early.

"You ready to go Kyoko?" Shizuo asked; she nodded and waved to Kaede.

"See you later Kaede-san! Me and Shizuo are going to the zoo."

Kaede waved back with a sweet smile; they reminded her of the days she and her husband were first together. It warmed her heart to see two young people so committed to each other.

"It sounds like fun, though you already seem to have a wild animal in your own home!" Kaede called out with a brief wink. "Have fun dears, wear sunscreen!"

"What did she mean by that?" Shizuo asked as Kaede hobbled back to her apartment.

"Oh, you know, she's getting on in years." Kyoko laughed and dragged him away with her. "She doesn't know what she's saying."

"Yes I do!"

Shizuo froze in his tracks. "She heard me last night, didn't she?"

"Um...yeah." Kyoko smiled anxiously as Shizuo's expression became increasingly mortified. "But she understands, don't worry about it!"

"Yes dear, you should be working it while you're young, enjoy yourselves! Just keep it down around 5:30, that's when I watch my stories."

"Fuck me." Shizuo hung his head and slapped a hand to his face as he ground his teeth together.

Kaede laughed. "Oho, you two sure are risk takers! Me and my Shinjirou were never much for having relations in public, but if that's what works for you."

Kyoko smiled thinly. "Have a nice day Kaede-san!"

"I will dear! I know you two will~"


	32. Omake: TeacherStudent AU Pt1

"-and then Celty said, 'Shinra don't look at me like that or I'll strangle you!' Then she choked me a bit with her shadows! She was looking into my eyes the whole time, it was so thrilling!" Shinra grinned and flushed in pleasure.

Shizuo could feel a tumor slowly growing in his head. "If she doesn't have eyes how can you even tell she was looking at you?"

Shinra shook his head as if the question was silly. "She doesn't need a head for me to read her feelings and actions."

"You're a sick bastard you know that?" Shizuo grumbled; the other students they passed by in the halls subtly stared after them. They couldn't fathom how someone as weird and annoying as Shinra was still alive in Shizuo's presence.

"Aw, I think you're just jealous. Besides, are you really one to say anything with your perverted teacher fantasies-? I am so sorry, please forgive my insolence."

Shinra had bowed down on the floor the second Shizuo's eyes narrowed.

"Shut up asshole." Shizuo said gruffly walking past him. "People are staring."

Shinra strolled after him with a cheerful smile. "I bet you're just worried what Yoshida-sensei would think seeing you beat me up. I don't get why you would be, she knows all about your temper."

"Keep your fucking voice down!" Shizuo growled; a group of laughing girls scattered into their classroom.

"Sorry." Shinra rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Yoshida-sensei doesn't seem to mind though, she knows us. Heck, she's been our homeroom teacher since our first year."

That was because of Shizuo. Before the beginning of his second year, he had approached the school board and requested Kyoko Yoshida be his homeroom teacher for the next year.

The board knew all about his violent temper and Shizuo insisted that his sensei's influence helped him calm down in class and commit himself to his studies. They agreed to having him put in her classes for the rest of high school, partially out of fear, but also because they knew it would contribute to the effort to keep the school from being demolished. They didn't seem very surprised by his request at all, given Yoshida's reputation.

In truth, many of the students appreciated her patience and dedication to helping her students. Reportedly, when Yoshida called a girl known to periodically bully other girls into her classroom for a talk, she had bursts into tears after Yoshida voiced her disappointment. Afterward, Yoshida held mediating sessions for the group of girls for half the school year.

 _"She never judges people."_ Shizuo smiled to himself after Shinra bid him goodbye; but it wasn't just her history as a compassionate teacher that caught his attention. He could still remember the first time he saw her.

A few of the students were surprised when she had come into class; if it wasn't for her professional attire, Yoshida would've looked like a third year student. Shizuo hadn't paid her much attention at all at the time; she was just another teacher who would most likely flinch whenever he stepped into her classroom.

Later that day, a group of thugs from a neighboring school jumped Shizuo on a dare. He gained minor scratches and a bruise on his temple, but they were only half conscious by the time he was through with them, and by the end of the brawl, most of the youths had run off in terror. It gave him no satisfaction to see the limp bodies thrown about the pavement; he hated this strength, hated fighting, even if it was in self defense, he knew he went overboard. He hated his lack of control. But he hated himself even more.

"Heiwajima-kun!"

Shizuo turned around with a dull glare; Yoshida-sensei was running toward him with wide eyes. She stopped in front of him and looked around at the chaos.

"I saw everything from my class." she panted. "Heiwajima-kun, you shouldn't be fighting on school grounds! Well, you shouldn't be fighting at all, but-oh no."

Shizuo's glare disappeared as she took his face gently in her hands. He was transfixed by her eyes. They were glistening slightly and her mouth was in the shape of a worried frown; he didn't think anyone had looked at him like that before, especially not a woman with such large, kind eyes.

"You're hurt." Yoshida smoothed her fingers over his bruise and examined the scratches carefully. "The nurse left, but I can take you to the office to get some disinfectant."

"I don't need it." Shizuo pulled away; his heart was thumping out of his chest. He needed to leave, but...

"You do and you had better start marching there with me right now." Yoshida matched him eyeball for eyeball; he looked away and grunted before trailing behind her to the nurse's office.

"You really do need to do something about that temper of yours." Yoshida fretted as she put a bandage over the cut near his left eye. "It looks bad on the school and for your reputation."

"I know that!" Shizuo huffed; he clenched his shaking fists in his lap, itching to punch something, but to his surprise, she didn't back away. "I can't control it, so what's the point?" his fists loosened as he sighed; he suddenly felt so tired. "There's no point...either way, people would still think I was a freak. The only thing I can do is fight and screw shit up so what's the fucking point?"

"You shouldn't be spending your school days like this, you should enjoy yourself." Yoshida smiled lightly, not seeming offended at his language. "When I was your age I was having fun, not brawling."

"You're not that much older." he snorted.

"Don't you know you shouldn't comment on a woman's age?" Yoshida chuckled; Shizuo shrugged and offered an apologetic smile.

"You know," Yoshida sat down beside him. "You seem like a good person, not a delinquent. Your grades are pretty decent, though they seem to have declined recently."

"It's hard to concentrate." Shizuo said; he stared down at his fists. They always seemed to be curled up either to punch something or to crush someone in his grip. He was startled when her hand slipped into his own.

"Tell, you what, how about I give you some one on one tutoring?" Yoshida said brightly. "I can see you Wednesday afternoons. Or if you'd like, we can just talk. You seem like you need to let some stuff out." Yoshida pulled away her hand when Shizuo didn't respond. "Am I wrong?"

"I have clean up duty on Wednesdays...how about Fridays?"

Yoshida smiled widely. "Of course, whatever day's good for you."

So they met up nearly every Friday for the next three years.

Yoshida would help him with the subjects, but most of the time she didn't say much at all once they had covered the lesson. Shizuo would rant about the new kid Orihara who had it out for him and Shinra's annoying babbling and the fights that seemed to be happening more and more.

The more he would vent, the quieter she would become. He felt like he could really unwind and after every meeting he felt like the end was coming too soon.

 _"She's one of the only people who really listens."_ Shizuo thought, feeling warmth flood through his chest at the image of her face. Sometimes she would even laugh at something he said.

"You're too funny Heiwajima-kun!" Yoshida had giggled; he hadn't meant to be funny, but he really didn't care. Just as long as she kept smiling at him, just as long as she wasn't afraid, just as long as she would keep holding his hand when he got too upset. She held it as if it were something delicate and to be treated with care.

 _"She's coming over to talk to me about something tomorrow."_ Shizuo felt panicked; tomorrow wasn't a school day. He might get to see her in casual clothes; he didn't think that she might dress professionally for the meeting and if she didn't it would be harder to keep in mind that she was his teacher.

 _"Shit I have to clean up!"_ Shizuo practically ran home; he tried to properly clean everything and he was mostly successful. Only a dozen dishes ended up smashed against the wall and the floor in frustration. He paid especially close attention to the tidiness of his bedroom.

As he prepared the tea on Saturday morning, Shizuo jumped out of his skin at the knock on the door.

"Good morning Heiwajima-kun." Yoshida bowed politely. "I hope this isn't too early. Oh, where's your parents?"

"There was an emergency and my uncle is in the hospital. My mom and dad had to leave immediately last night."

This wasn't exactly true; they had actually been out of town for a couple of days, but if he had told Yoshida that, she might not have agreed to meet him.

"Oh I'm sorry. Well, I guess we don't really need your parents for this meeting. In all honesty, I was hoping to talk to you in private for part of the time. May I sit down?"

"Of course, make yourself comfortable." Shizuo ran into the kitchen; before he went back into the living room he straightened his buttoned down shirt and smoothed down his hair.

"Thank you, you didn't have to." Yoshida smiled as he brought her the tray of tea.

"It's no problem." Shizuo lied; half of those dozen of dishes were tea cups, so delicate and easy to crush in his fumbling hands. "Is there anything else you need sensei?" He was prepared to bolt down to the convenience store.

"No, no. Let's get down to business." Yoshida's friendly expression went serious. "Heiwajima-kun, I'm going to be straightforward with you. For a while with our study sessions, your grades were improving, but over the span of this year they've been declining." Yoshida tried to keep her voice calm. "I'm worried about you Heiwajima-kun. You'll be graduating soon, and I want you to end this year on a good note."

Shizuo looked down at his lap quietly.

It wasn't easy to concentrate in Yoshida-sensei's classes. He really was trying to pay attention, he loved when she beamed proudly as he passed tests and congratulated him on his work. Shizuo tried so hard, but it wasn't easy to pay attention to the work when he was daydreaming about taking his teacher out on dates and staying after class to steal kisses.

Yoshida sighed when Shizuo didn't respond. "I want to help you. Please, talk to me."

"I'm sorry sensei, I know I'm wasting your time and effort trying to teach me. I really have been trying to learn the material." Shizuo took a deep breath and raised his eyes to hers. He wouldn't look away this time.

"The thing is, you're all I think about."


	33. Omake: TeacherStudent AU Pt2

Yoshida rose from her seat. "I-I think I should go."

"No!" Shizuo shot up and grabbed her hand; she yelped in pain.

"Shit, I'm sorry." Shizuo let go quickly, and his hands dropped to his sides. "Please, just listen to me."

"I'm your teacher Heiwajima-kun." Yoshida said quietly, but her serious voice quivered slightly; with some visibly effort she turned away from him.

"I don't care, I would love you whether you were a teacher or a plumber or whatever." Shizuo approached her slowly. "You said yourself I'm graduating, so you won't be my teacher for much longer."

"This isn't right." Yoshida argued; she didn't want to have these feelings, didn't want to cross the line, but she could still barely contain the joy coursing through her.

"You haven't rejected me." Shizuo whispered; his hands took her shoulders to make Yoshida face him. "Be honest. Have you felt anything toward me? After all this time, have you really not felt anything else for me?"

"Shi-Hewajima don't do this." Yoshida pleaded as he stroked her cheek. "I-"

"Kyoko. That's such a cute name. I always thought so, but I was too chicken shit to tell you until now." Shizuo sighed and smiled wryly. "You're the only woman who's actually talked to me like a normal person. You never made me feel like a freak."

He pulled back slightly. "I want to know you, all of you. This isn't some weird fetish thing. I want a future together. I'm not going to force you into anything; I just want a chance to make you as happy as you've made me."

Yoshida had never seen him so placid; where had the tirading, awkward young man she saw everyday go? Truthfully, Shizuo always felt calmer when he looked into her eyes; they were so expressive and warm, not narrowed in disgust or fear. He couldn't remember the last time someone cared for his well being so much, but it wasn't enough to be another student.

Shizuo wasn't the best at reading people, but even he could see the warmth in Kyoko's eyes, could feel her body relax as he drew her closer.

"Look at me, talking your ear off." Shizuo chuckled self deprecatingly; his stare was unwavering. "Okay, so what's your answer?"

Kyoko blushed. "I….I do have feelings for you. But you're still my student."

"Fuck that. When two people love each other, they should be together." Shizuo grinned; he wrapped his trembling arms around her. Kyoko didn't pull away. He never thought he'd be able to hold her so close. "Call me Shizuo then. I've always wanted you to."

"Shizuo." Kyoko giggled sharply as his hands rested on her waist lightly. "Stop, that tickles!"

"I promise I'll work hard and be a man you can be proud of."

Kyoko took his hand gently. "I already am proud of you. I always have been."

Shizuo sat Kyoko back down on the couch with him. "Um, hey, can we call this our first date? I made this tea especially for you."

"Okay." Kyoko looked shy all of a sudden; she fidgeted with the hem of her pencil skirt. "You're really serious about this..."

"Yeah." Shizuo averted his eyes. "You got a problem with it?"

Kyoko smiled. "No. Not at all."

"...can I kiss you?"

Shizuo felt his palms beginning to sweat; he wished he could wipe them before Kyoko noticed. His eyes widened and his heart stopped as she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

"You mean, 'may I?' Shizuo." Kyoko corrected teasingly; Shizuo's kiss was chaste, but he soon found his control slipping away. Kyoko wrapped her arms around his neck instinctively and Shizuo began moaning quietly as her fingers ran through his hair; she parted their lips as his hand stroked under the hem of her skirt.

"Sorry, am I going too fast?" Shizuo pulled away quickly. "I've never done anything like this before." he admitted. "I don't really know what to do."

"That's okay." Kyoko leaned into his side. "Are you ready for something like this?"

Shizuo snorted and laughed despite his anxiety. "I've been ready for three years."

He was a bit nervous from the silence that came after his statement.

"Kyoko?"

"Shizuo, you're too much." Kyoko laughed and kissed him sweetly. "How about we go to your room?"

Kyoko shrieked as Shizuo lifted her into his arms; he carried her up the stairs and managed to open the door with one arm supporting her.

"Wow, you really are strong." Kyoko marveled at him as he set her down on his bed. Shizuo felt himself glow at the praise, but instead of trying to stutter through a response, he kissed her and took off his shirt.

"Hold on." Kyoko took off her own along with her skirt; Shizuo removed his pants and began tugging at her underwear impatiently, tearing a huge hold in the waistband.

"Tell me what you want me to do." Shizuo whispered; he held her hands above her head and slowly trailed kissed across her neck and chest.

"Take off my bra." Kyoko breathed.

Shizuo reached behind her; after a few seconds of fumbling he tore it off.

"Shizuo!"

"I'll get you a new one." he looked up at her for confirmation before taking a breast in his mouth.

"Oh god." Kyoko sighed and her hips began rocking into his. "Shizuo, take off my panties. Rip them off if you need to."

Shizuo grinned wildly as her panties were sent flying. "What now?"

"Are you hard?" Kyoko sat up and stroked his arms as they encircled her waist. "If you are, you can just put it inside me."

She reached down and tentatively began stroking him.

"Kyoko...I'm so hard." Shizuo groaned; he looked at her through hazy eyes. "I have condoms."

"What, did you plan for this?" Kyoko asked incredulously.

"No." Shizuo shook his head as he took a package from his dresser drawer. "I just hoped. Didn't think it would happen. I kinda thought you'd reject me and make me transfer I hoped..." He carefully slipped on the condom and Kyoko pulled him down on top of her and took his shaft in her hand; she guided him to her entrance and he pushed in.

"It's alright, go in all the way." Kyoko pushed herself down and he moaned sharply.

"I-Is this okay?" Shizuo gasped as he was completely inside her; he seriously doubted whether he'd be able to fit. "Is this okay? I'm not hurting you?"

Kyoko smiled; he was beyond sweet. "It feels nice. Just take your time, alright?"

"Wanna make it good for you." Shizuo rubbed her breasts in both his hands as he rocked in and out of her. "Fuck Kyoko, I don't think I'll last long."

"It's okay." Kyoko assured him; he was stretching her out, but it was only mildly uncomfortable. "I feel so full inside. I really like it Shizuo-ah!" he had ground himself into her deeper. "Keep going!"

"Kyoko, I'm s-sorry!" Shizuo cried out; he stopped abruptly and Kyoko groaned in frustration. "Sorry." Shizuo looked down in shame. "I don't want to come before you."

Kyoko smiled exasperatedly. "It's okay if you do, you know. Here, lie back on the bed."

Shizuo blinked curiously, but switched places with her; Kyoko straddled him and slowly lowered herself down onto his shaft. She swore she felt it twitch as she sat down all the way.

"Can I touch you?" Shizuo's hands creeped up her stomach; he could see everything from his position.

"Yes." Kyoko pressed his hands to her chest; she bounced up and down to test Shizuo's reaction. His arms shook from the effort of not squeezing her too tightly.

Shizuo bucked his hips up hard and Kyoko squealed; he did it again and again and she rocked back against him.

 _"Damn she has nice boobs."_ Shizuo stared at them as they bounced, gazed transfixed at her stomach as it tightened from keeping her balance, studied her face for any discomfort. Kyoko's mouth was open and she was panting harshly.

Shizuo wanted to smile at the sight; he had dreamed about this at least every other class. Sometimes he would get so lost in fantasies he'd find himself erect in the middle of a lesson; he'd try to will it down and pray that she didn't see. Now his fantasy was a reality and he was ashamed to say it wouldn't last long.

"Kyoko, slow down." Shizuo begged with a harsh groan. "I'm gonna come, let me take it out!"

Kyoko ignored him and just rocked harder, throwing her hair back from her face. "No.I like how it feels inside me." her smile was positively impish as she sucked on his neck softly.

"Come on, no, I can't- _oh fuck!_ "

Shizuo's mouth flew open in a silent scream as Kyoko slammed herself down on him. His body spasmed as he came; Kyoko whined as his softening shaft slipped out of her.

"Dammit." Shizuo stared at her as she collapsed beside him and took off his condom; he wasn't sure if he would be able to move for a while. Shizuo's pupils were blown wide and he could hardly breathe. "You didn't-"

"I wouldn't be able to honestly...I'm still kind of anxious about this to get relaxed." Kyoko admitted softly; she rested her head on his chest. "I liked it though. If I wasn't so nervous…"

"I understand." Shizuo smoothed down her hair with a sigh. "Do you mean it? Was it good for you?"

"Amazing." Kyoko nuzzled his neck; he wrapped an arm around her.

"Thanks."

"For what?" Kyoko asked blankly.

Shizuo leaned down to kiss her forehead. "You know, being my first time. I really love you….Kyoko?!"

Tears had welled up in Kyoko's eyes; she blinked them away and buried her face into his shoulder feeling embarrassed for getting so emotional. She was the adult here afterall.

"I'm just so happy. I was so scared, and I hope this works out." Kyoko gave him a small but hopeful smile.

"It will." Shizuo promised firmly. "Hey, I got a question for you."

"What?"

Shizuo pulled her tightly to him with a smirk. "Does this mean I pass sex ed?"

"Hmmmm." Kyoko pretended to think it over; she grinned cheekily and nipped at his earlobe. "The results haven't come in, but i know a way you can get extra credit…"


	34. Omake: Not Exactly the Ordinary

It was supposed to be a nice, uneventful day.

The weather was pleasantly warm and the sky was a clear blue that could inspire someone to leave the comfort of their homes and venture out into the world and enjoy it. Celty was inspired to go for a relaxing drive on Shooter. She briefly entertained the thought of letting him resume his horse form; while she appreciated the smooth glide of the motorcycle, she was feeling nostalgic for the thrill of galloping through the city streets.

Even though Celty ultimately decided against it and went with the modern form of a motorcyclist on their bike, this still didn't prevent her from attracting unwanted attention.

"Stop your vehicle monster!"

 _"Why, why why, why!?"_ Celty made a sharp turn. _"I just can't lose these guys! Don't they ever take a day off?!"_

The noontime traffic really wasn't helping her ability to ride away faster; there were crowds of people moving in and out of the street along with cars and bikes traveling to their lunchtime destinations.

 _"Dammit."_ Celty cursed; Kuzuhara in particular was coming in closer and closer. _"I have to do something! I wish I could just make them-"_

 ** _"Disappear? Use your shadows….use them…."_**

Celty could feel a tightness form in her joints, a coldness run down her spine; her mind was fuzzy. _"Who-? What is this? I feel so-."_

 ** _"Insignificant….weak, small, pathetic humans….use the powers you were given. Show them what kind of monster they're really dealing with!"_**

Celty felt herself raise her left hand, her dense shadows swirled around and around; they rose up into the air, darkening the light blue sky and nearly covering the warm sun. The cops looked on with foreboding and slight anxiety; this was new.

"Sir, should we fall back?"

Kuzuhara snarled as a small tornado of shadows approached them; Celty was no longer trying to evade them. It was as though she was daring them to follow.

"Stay on it!" Kuzuhara ordered; the others followed the pursuit.

 _"I feel amazing!"_ Celty marveled at her creation. _"I'm not sure what this is, but if it can stop these guys from catching me-"_

"Celty!?" The deep, confused voice shattered the feeling of euphoria and power as Celty swiveled her neck to look in the direction of the voice.

 _"Wha-?"_

The last thing Celty saw before her shadow engulfed Shizuo was his surprised expression; he was right in front of her, just crossing the street by the look of it. As soon as the shadows covered him, at least five miles all around the city was awash in black.

Celty tried to ignore the screams of terrified civilians; she couldn't see anything. It was as if a dark dome was placed over the whole area, blocking out the sun, the lights, everything.

 _"No, make it stop. Make it go away!"_ Celty pleaded; in an instant the shadows were gone. She was kind of regretting it at the sight before her.

There were people scattered all over the streets, some still freaking out; a few fights had broken out in the middle of the sidewalks, and to her right Celty could see someone had smashed a shop window, perhaps planning to loot, perhaps done in a panic induced frenzy. The police were also scattered all over the area trying to restore some semblance of peace, seeming to have forgotten their target for the time being. In the middle of this fray was a small boy drowning in a bartender suit ten times his size in front of her.

Celty stared as the boy slept on, somehow lost in a deep sleep amid all the chaos.

 _"This is bad."_

Shooter seemed to read her thoughts and a side car materialized, securely attached to the bike. Celty scooped up Shizuo, set him inside carefully, and drove off before any of the police could tail her.

When she arrived at her and Shinra's apartment, Celty wished she could say she was more surprised at his reaction to an unconscious toddler Shizuo.

"Hm...maybe I can dissect him now!" Shinra exclaimed. "He didn't get his strength until he was in elementary school, so if I tried to now, he wouldn't be able to-ouch! Come on Celty, it was just a joke, honest!"

 _"_ You can be a real lowlife sometimes!"Celty replied; she inwardly sighed as Shinra just smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry. So you don't know how you did this?"

"No." Celty answered feeling horribly guilty. "It was as if something was awakened in me...it felt familiar, but I didn't even really know what it would do. There were these weird thoughts in my head thinking about how small and weak humans really were." Celty sat down heavily on the couch. "It was a bit scary."

Shinra sat down beside her with a sympathetic frown. "Maybe it was triggered by your fear to make the attacker vulnerable so you could escape. You said the cops were really gaining on you, right? You know, I wondered at times how you came to be." Shinra said lightly. "Maybe dullahans can create new ones! We can have children Celty!"

"I didn't create a child." Celty wished she could type with dry font; she was feeling more and more tired as she watched Shizuo sleep. She had clothed him in a shirt and shorts made from the same material as her suit. "But I basically shrunk Shizuo. I don't even know how I did it, let alone how I'm going to change him back!"

"Hey, calm down." Shinra said gently. "Look, we'll deal with that when we can. This isn't your fault Celty, it was an accident." he sighed half tiredly, half bemusedly. "What interesting lives we lead, huh? You know, we should probably call Kyoko."

"Yeah. I hope she's going to be okay with this." 

"Hn?"

Shizuo yawned and rubbed his eyes; Celty wasn't the best at telling how old a person was, but she could guess Shizuo was 5 or 6 at the most. He was currently looking up at them both with wide eyes.

"What the-? Who the heck are you?!" Shizuo looked around his eyes narrowed and frantic. "Where am I? Kidnappers!"

Celty turned to Shinra worriedly. "What do we tell him?!"

"I got this." Shinra gave Shizuo a big grin. "Hey Shizuo, I'm Shinra and this lovely lady is Celty. You fell asleep while we were babysitting you."

Shizuo glared up at him suspiciously; suddenly, a buzzing sound came from the pocket of the slacks draped over the couch. The vibrating was from the Shizuo's cell phone.

Shinra walked over and got the phone with a grimace; he looked over at Celty nervously before answering it.

"Hey Shizuo." Kyoko's obliviously cheery voice came out the speaker. "I was wondering-"

"Uh, Kyoko, this is Shinra. Shizuo is with me and Celty and well…this sounds crazy, but-"

Kyoko took the news surprisingly. Well, that, or she was in immense shock as the reality she knew was slowly coming apart.

"Should I get down there?" Kyoko asked anxiously. "Is he hurt at all?"

"No, no, he's fine, just...you know, tiny." Shinra laughed weakly. "Look, after work you can come by. It's probably better he stays with us so he doesn't get into trouble. Plus, we can do some research on how to change him back."

"Okay." Kyoko replied uncertainly. "Well, I guess there's no point talking to him now if he doesn't remember anything. Thanks for looking after him. I'll be done with work in just a few more hours."

"Will do!" Shinra ended the call feeling relieved that one issue was solved; he looked down in surprise as Shizuo kicked his leg, causing him to drop the phone. Mainly he was surprised it didn't handicap him.

"That's mine, isn't it?" Shizuo asked; he grabbed the phone off the ground. "She said my name. Don't take my stuff!"

The tiny voice was far from intimidating, but it was definitely familiar.

"Shinra, how can we figure out how to turn him back?" Celty typed. "You know my memories are practically nonexistent and I've never heard of a dullahan being able to make people younger."

Shinra simply smiled. "My dad has been doing research on dullahans for years. I'll contact him, maybe he knows-"

"Hey, who's this?"

Shizuo was holding out his phone with a confused glare; his background was a picture of Kyoko. She was grinning widely and holding a daisy he had picked her, not that he could recall doing such a thing.

"Oh, well…" Shinra hesitated. "She's a friend of ours. Her name's Kyoko."

Shizuo's furrowed brow relaxed slightly as he stared at the photo. "And she's the one who called? I heard her on the phone. Tell me what she said four-eyes!"

Celty's shoulders shook with laughter as Shinra balked.

"Four-eyes?! What a childish-oh, well, I guess it fits in this circumstance." Shinra sighed. "Listen Shizuo, she was just thanking us for watching you. She's coming over later to make sure you're okay."

"She is?" Shizuo's voice suddenly held a hint of bashfullness; after a moment he looked up at Shinra and Celty steadfastly with his hands on his hips. "Why can't she come now?"

"Talk about demanding. Was Shizuo like this when he was a kid?" Celty typed.

Shinra shook his head. "When I knew him he was pretty mild, when he wasn't pissed off that is. Hm, it seems that I irritate him even when he can't remember me. Oh well!"

"Hey, I'm talkin' to you!" Shizuo face was growing red from anger. "Why can't she come now?"

Shinra had to suppress a violent urge of his own. "Kyoko is at work right now. She's coming later."

Shizuo's face scrunched up and he bit his lip harshly, eyes full of disdain. He wasn't sure why he felt this way, but he was filled with the desire to was smash something. "I want her here now! I don't wanna be stuck here with you two weirdos!"

"Shinra, is it just me or is Shizuo a brat?" Celty typed feeling disgruntled at her friends current behavior; she covered the screen from Shizuo's line of sight to be safe.

"I don't get it." Shinra said thoughtfully. "He didn't even remember who we were, but it's as if his attachment to Kyoko is instinct." Shinra said; he looked mildly impressed but the expression was replaced with panic. "Oh no! I think they're trying to outdo us as the number one couple in Ikebukuro! Celty, we need to defend our love!"

"This isn't the time for that!" Celty retorted; she was staring at Shizuo apprehensively. He did not look happy being ignored. Celty could understand his confusion at being kept in a strange apartment with people he didn't know, but this was just getting irritating.

"Where's Kyoko?!" Shizuo growled in his small voice and stamped his foot on the ground impatiently.

Celty was losing patience herself. "She's not here." was her blunt reply.

This was a mistake. For a moment Shizuo's face was screwed up like he was about to cry, but in the next instant it was nearly purple and his small frame was shaking violently. Both Celty and Shinra felt a familiar sense of anxiety travel up their spines.

"I want Kyoko." Shizuo's growl was unsettlingly high as he clenched his fists, his thin frame shaking from the surge of emotions. "I want Kyoko!"

They stared in shock and slight fear as he began kicking and banging his fists against the floor. "I want her! I want Kyoko!" Shizuo practically screamed; his whole body was convulsing in pent up rage. "I hate you! I want Kyoko **now!** "

He was admittedly too young to process his emotions properly yet, though they wished he wouldn't take it out on their property. Still, it wasn't his childish tantrum that made them wary.

It was how the floorboards were cracking where he was hitting them.

"I think I'll just call Kyoko." Shinra said brightly. "You know, before the house gets destroyed."


	35. Omake: Promise

Less than an hour and a few broken floorboards later, Kyoko had arrived at the apartment panting and out of breath.

"Sorry, I thought I'd stop by somewhere and get children's clothes." she was gasping for breath, a shopping bag swinging from her arm.

Shinra smiled. "Oh yeah, Celty's shadows might not stay materialized if they're too far from her. I've always wanted to test that out."

Celty wished she could smack her forehead; the worst part was that she and Shinra had inadvertently became the catalysts for Shizuo's reawakened strength.

 _"Damn. Sorry Shizuo."_ Celty thought as he sulked and grumbled in the corner she had forced him into with her shadows. _"He's still being a pain though."_

Kyoko looked at the curled up boy curiously. "Shizuo?" she asked tentatively. "Is that really you?"

Celty released her shadows and Shizuo looked behind him with a glare; he caught sight of Kyoko and the frown melted away as a grin split across his whole face.

"Kyoko! Did you come to get me?" Shizuo rushed over and hugged her around the legs.

Kyoko gently pried him away with a sober look. "Shizuo, I heard that you were screaming and smashing things. Is that true?"

Shizuo grin faltered. "Yeah..." he admitted.

"I'm disappointed. Shinra and Celty were nice enough to look after you; you should be thanking them, not calling them names or trashing their home."

"B-but-"

"No was very disrespectful." Kyoko said firmly, turning Shizuo around to face a surprised Celty and Shinra; they didn't expect Kyoko to be so stern with him. Shizuo looked up at them with a begrudging look of embarrassment.

"They deserve an apology." Kyoko prompted Shizuo.

He bit his lip. "I-I'm sorry for calling you names….and messing up your floor."

To his own surprise, Celty gently ruffled his hair; Shizuo couldn't help a half smile in her direction.

"Hey, it's all good. Let's just try not to have a repeat of the incident." Shinra smiled carelessly. "So, Shizuo, what do you say to an examination?"

"Shinra!"

"Okay, okay, keep your shirt on. On second thought-"

Celty silenced him with her shadows and Shizuo giggled a bit before frowning sadly; Kyoko sighed in resignation.

"Thank you guys so much." Kyoko gave them a small bow and sighed; they could see they way her face seemed to fall slightly from exhaustion. "I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner. I already got a bit of a scolding for having to leave work so early…."

"I'm really sorry." Shizuo had turned to Kyoko, wringing the hem of his shirt in his hands and looking down at the ground. Before Kyoko could respond, he launched himself at her.

"I didn't mean to get you in trouble!" Shizuo bawled into her thighs. His chest heaved and his nose leaked, and Kyoko couldn't bring herself to reprimand him any further. He couldn't even reach her waist, he was so short. "I didnt mean to! Don't h-hate me, I won't ever do it again, I promise!"

"Of course I don't hate you." Kyoko said softly; she lowered herself down to his level and offered him her handkerchief. Shizuo hiccuped as she carefully wiped off his face and nose for him.

"Oh no." Kyoko gasped; she held out Shizuo's hands. They were red and swelling slightly from the hits. "Shinra, I'm going to take him home and ice these. Let me know if you and Celty find anything out."

"Sure." Shinra was taken off guard by her commanding tone. Kyoko carried Shizuo and left the apartment with a frown.

"Kyoko...are you mad?"

"No Shizuo, I'm just worried." Kyoko explained with a tiny smile; the older Shizuo's hands wouldn't have so much as bruised from punching a floor. They found a public bathroom and Shizuo changed into the clothes Kyoko bought him.

"Kyoko, I'm hungry." Shizuo tugged on her limp hand; his eyes were so big, Kyoko could feel her heart melting.

"Here." Kyoko pulled a bottle of milk from her purse; Shizuo grabbed it hungrily. Kyoko gave him an expectant look.

"Thank you."

Kyoko smiled slightly. "No problem. We're almost home, I'll fix you something for dinner."

"I live with you?" Shizuo asked; he sounded excited, but then his face turned thoughtful. "What about my parents and Kasuka? Do we all live together?" his smile grew even wider.

"Uh, well, they're out of town. You're going to be staying with me for a while." Kyoko explained carefully; she noticed Shizuo was struggling to keep up with her pace, so she scooped him up in her arms. He was pretty light.

 _"He's a kid now."_ Kyoko looked ahead trying to focus; a lump was caught in her throat and seemed to grow in size with every step. _"What if he can't go back? He's going to go through that part of his life all over again. By the time he's 25, I'll be over 40."_

Kyoko felt ready to cry, but she knew she had to hold herself together. Shizuo was in trouble and he needed her right now.

 _"We won't get married or have children of our own. Even if he somehow fell in love with me later, I'd be so old. He might not even grow up to be the same person.…"_

"Kyoko?" Shizuo was looking at her worriedly.

"Y-yeah?" Kyoko tried to smile.

Shizuo's grip tightened on her shirt. "When's my family coming back?"

"Not too much longer. Airplanes take a while to fly to places sometimes."

"Oh." Shizuo said; Kyoko set him on the ground as she unlocked her door. She led him into the kitchen and sat him down at the table with a cup of strawberry milk.

"Curry sound good?" Kyoko was determined to remain positive; Shizuo nodded silently. As she served their dinner, he finally spoke up.

"Do I have to leave soon?"

"No. Why?" Kyoko watched him curiously; she knew he was probably nervous about being watched by a bunch of strangers.

 _"That's right."_ Kyoko thought sadly. _"He doesn't even remember who I am. He'll probably want to go home soon."_

"I don't want to go."

Kyoko didn't know what to say. " _Should I tell him his family will be gone longer? Maybe he can just stay here...I could tell him his family wanted to send him to live with me for a while. No, that's dumb, not to mention selfish."_

Shizuo waited for her to say something, anything. After a moment, he threw his spoon down on the ground, knocking Kyoko out of her thoughts; he was chewing at his lip again with a furrowed brow.

"You don't want me here do you?" Shizuo accused.

"What? That's ridiculous, I do want you here, it's just-"

"You don't want me here." Shizuo's mouth wobbled.

Kyoko stood up abruptly; Shizuo sniffled as she hugged him.

"Shizuo, I really like you." Kyoko rubbed his head. "I don't want you to go. But you're going to have to; you should be with your family." she held him by his arms and made him look at her. "You're just a kid, I'm not your mother, you can't live with me." she told him with a smile hoping to ease the tension.

"I won't always be a kid!" Shizuo protested. "I'm gonna grow up and then I'll come live with you."

Kyoko stared at him wide eyed as he threw his arms around her neck and hugged her tightly.

"I love you."

"Shizuo." Kyoko choked as tears came to her eyes; Shizuo pulled away quickly.

"I'm sorry. Did I make you sad?"

"N-no, it's fine. You didn't make me sad." Kyoko gave him a watery smile as she wiped her eyes quickly. "Let's go to bed okay? It's getting late and you need your sleep."

"Okay…"

Kyoko listened as tiny footsteps followed her into their room; she tucked Shizuo into the bed.

"Are you okay with the light off?" she asked kindly.

Shizuo shifted under the blanket. "Can you leave the door open? My mom usually leave the hallway light on for me."

"Sure thing." Kyoko petted his head and made sure the door let a stream of bright light into the room.

"Kyoko?"

"Yeah?"

Shizuo hesitated "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

Kyoko thought for a moment. " _Okay...this is_ _kinda weird….but he looks scared."_ Shizuo stared at her pleadingly. " _I don't blame him, he's not used to sleeping outside his own bed."_

"Okay, move over to that side." Kyoko said; Shizuo scooted over and snuggled under the covers.

"Goodnight Kyoko." he yawned and smiled sleepily; Kyoko watched him for a while until his breathing was slow and deep.

 _"No matter what happens, I Iove you Shizuo. I'll look after you. It's the least I can do. I guess it's the only thing I can do now..."_

Kyoko turned off the lamplight.

"Babe?"

"Hmm?" Kyoko yawned and stretched her legs out under the covers and tried to refrain from shielding her eyes at the sunlight coming in from the blinds. She hoped Shizuo was able to sleep peacefully.

"Hey, where are my clothes?"

Kyoko bolted up; Shizuo was sitting next to her, wearing rags of what used to be his clothes.

Shizuo stared down at her. "Uh, you okay?"

"Shizuo!"

He looked down in surprise as Kyoko tackled him; she buried her face in his chest.

"Babe?" Shizuo asked softly. "Did you have a nightmare or something?"

"No!" Kyoko looked at him with wide eyes. "Celty accidentally turned you into a kid, and you didn't remember me, but you still cared about me, but I was so scared you'd never come back…"

"Holy shit. I missed all that?" Shizuo looked down at himself. "I'm sorry. You're upset."

"No, I'm happy. You have no idea." Kyoko smiled broadly. "I guess it just took some time to wear off. Celty and Shinra will be relieved." she cocked her head. "So, you really don't remember being a kid?"

Shizuo scrunched his forehead in concentration. "Nope...except-"

He stood up and stormed out of the room.

"That fucking bastard! He tried to cut me up again!"

"Shizuo wait-"

"Just wait til I get my hands on that perverted son of a-"

"Put some pants on at least!"

As big of a hassle this was going to be, Kyoko still found herself grinning.


	36. Sometimes, Good is Enough

**Warning: SPOILERS FOR KETSU and sexual content.**

"Shizuo?" Tom looked away from Vorona's unconscious body; Shizuo paused.

"I have something to take care of. Update me when Vorona wakes up, okay?"

"Uh, but shouldn't you, I don't know…" Tom scratched his head. "See a doctor?"

Shizuo looked down at his open cuts. "Oh. Yeah, I am."

Simon and Tom stared as he limped away.

He wasn't going to a hospital; too many questions, not to mention he'd never be able to afford it. Shinra was still somewhere with Celty, so he was out of the question.

 _"That guy really is a villain."_ Shizuo thought as he trudged up the steps to his apartment. Their apartment. _"But am I any better?"_

"Shizuo?" Kyoko bolted up from the couch, her phone clutched in her hand. "What the hell happened? Tom told me you almost killed Orihara-san, and Vorona stopped you and something about zombies-oh my god." she whispered.

 _"Dammit. I didn't want her to hear that just yet."_ Shizuo stiffened at her horrified gaze.

To put it bluntly, Shizuo was a mess; his clothes were torn and bloody, and there were deep cuts across his abdomen. Kyoko noticed he was holding his arm funny.

Shizuo was silent as he followed Kyoko to the dining room; she sat him down on a chair gingerly.

"You would've been a great doctor." Shizuo said with a tiny smile; Kyoko didn't glance up as she cleaned his wounds.

"I guess. I like animals better though." Kyoko replied flatly; she threw out the bloody cotton balls and towels. "I don't have the supplies for a sling, but I can get some tomorrow. Just don't aggravate your arm and it should be fine."

The disinfectant had stung his cuts, but Shizuo didn't complain; Kyoko swiftly rolled bandages all around his stomach. She began gently dabbing at his facial lacerations, but she wasn't quite looking at him. He felt a pit drop in his stomach; he wished she'd say something.

"It doesn't hurt really, just feels funny. Like a tickle." Shizuo chuckled; Kyoko didn't say anything as he changed into a clean shirt and boxers. When he returned, Kyoko was sitting at the same chair, still as a statue.

"Babe?"

Kyoko bit her lip; she didn't cry often, but when she did, there were a lot of tears. This time wasn't any different. Shizuo looked on helplessly as she bowed her head to hide her face.

"Come on, talk to me."

"Dammit Shizuo, why didn't you contact me earlier?" Kyoko sobbed. "I was hearing all sorts of rumors and you didn't come home and I tried to contact you, but-" she gasped for air. "I was so scared. Would it kill you to let me know the next time you go on a rampage?"

"Well, yeah, this time. That flea really had it in for me tonight." Shizuo grumbled. "So, that's why you're upset?" he asked cautiously as Kyoko wiped her face with a clean towel. "You were worried?"

Kyoko glared. "Yes you dumbass, what else would it be?! I swear you're so-!"

Words failed her as Shizuo trapped her in a bone-crushing hug.

"Hey ease up!" Kyoko squeaked; Shizuo let his grip relax slightly. "One of us needs to have our bones in tact."

The sun was just coming up. Kyoko could see the brightness coming from behind the closed blinds; she felt as if it would never come. All night Kyoko had stayed up either calling, texting, or waiting for a call or text from Shizuo. Anything at all to let her know he was okay; she moved from room to room, falling in and out of sleep. Shizuo's warm embrace was reminding her how tired she really was.

"Shizuo, let's go to bed, okay?" Kyoko tried to take his arms off of her waist, careful not to move the right one too much. "We both need sleep. I'll go to the store to pick up supplies for the sling in a few hours."

Kyoko yelped as Shizuo used his good arm to lift her up; he carried her all the way to the bed and sat down with her. He resumed his hug as soon as they were comfortable.

"Shizuo? Are you okay?"

"Izaya wanted to prove to me and to everyone else that I was a monster." Shizuo smiled self deprecatingly. "I already knew that, but he wanted to make me a murderer too. Kyoko, what would you have done if I had killed somebody?"

"Well, I'd guess I'd have to visit you in prison. I'm not sure how we'd get married though…" Kyoko found herself picturing the ceremony. He stood behind bars wearing a white tux, but that couldn't be right.

"So if I took someone's life in a fit of rage, you'd stay with me? You're not as sane as I thought…"

Kyoko frowned. "Even if you did something horrible, I couldn't just magically change the way I feel. I know you Shizuo. I'm grateful for Vorona stopping you, but even if she hadn't, I'd still love you. If that's crazy, well." she shrugged.

Shizuo rose his face to hers; he slowly brought his fingers to her cheek, tracing them up and down her skin. "I thought you'd be scared of me if you knew. I almost-"

"Stop." Kyoko ordered him quietly. "You didn't kill anyone. It sounded like if you hadn't tried, Orihara-san would've killed you first. That's the only thing I care about. You."

"I was thinking about you. I almost got suffocated." Shizuo smiled. "I thought, 'If I don't make it out of this, I can't eat cake with Kyoko again.' There was so much I still wanted to do."

Kyoko kissed him softly; Shizuo gripped the back of her neck and licked her lips. As they kissed, Shizuo pushed her down.

"Wait, we can't do this now!" Kyoko was snapped back to her senses and tried to get up. "You're hurt, you shouldn't-"

"I really don't give a shit." Shizuo muffled her protests; he tore off her night shirt, the ripping noise nearly loud enough to cause an echo. He roughly pulled off his own shirt, his erection was poking through his boxers.

"Shizuo, please, we really shouldn't." Kyoko pulled the sheets up to her neck; Shizuo sat on the other end of the bed, looking down at his hands.

"Please Kyoko." Shizuo crawled over to her and gently tugged the blanket away; the cold air made goosebumps appear on her skin and made her nipples perk up. Shizuo licked his dry lips at the sight. He knew it probably wasn't the best time; Kyoko looked exhausted, but he needed this.

"I'm selfish. You're already doing so much for me, but I just want more and more." Shizuo scoffed at himself; Kyoko looked at him sadly.

"But I need to know you're not scared to let me touch you." Shizuo said; his hands trailed down her shoulders and he scooted closer. "I'm no romantic, but I try to make you feel good too. You like it right? You don't mind when we do this, right?"

"Of course not." Kyoko leaned into his touch; Shizuo pulled her into his lap, her back against his chest. His hands roamed all across her arms, her torso, her thighs; she could feel a slight scratching from the bandages and tried to lean away to keep from reopening the cuts.

"You're not going anywhere." Shizuo whispered huskily; his hands finally found her breasts and Kyoko whimpered as he pulled her back to him. As he pinched and rolled a nipple with one hand, his other trailed down her stomach.

"Ah! Shizuo, please!" Kyoko held onto his legs; her own were spread open to give him more access to her clit. Shizuo put his fingers to her mouth and had her suck on them; when he felt they were wet enough, he carefully pulled them away and flicked her clit.

 _"It's like a little button to make her wet."_ Shizuo thought; Kyoko's head fell back against his shoulder. He rubbed his fingers up and down slowly spreading her cum all over the outer folds.

"Kyoko? Do you like this?" Shizuo pushed two fingers inside her; she clenched down on them and gasped as he curled and twisted them around.

"Yes. Shizuo, take them out, I want you inside me." Kyoko moaned; she turned over and laid down on the bed, legs shaking slightly. "Be careful, don't mess up the bandages."

"God you look so good like this." Shizuo rubbed the head of his erection back and forth against her opening; Kyoko took a hold of his shoulders and peppered kisses up and down his neck and chest as she rolled her hips.

"I mean it-"

"Am I doing a good job?" Shizuo asked breathlessly as he slowly fit himself inside; Kyoko looked up at him curiously.

 _"He seems so...unsure."_ Kyoko stared up at Shizuo; he was looking at her expectantly. Pleadingly. _"Is he really worried that I wouldn't want him anymore?"_

Kyoko smiled coyly. _"I'll just have to show him other wise."_

"Shizuo?" Kyoko asked; she timidly ran her hands up and down his chest, lightly grazing the nipples. Shizuo's breath hitched in his throat.

"Yeah?"

"Take it out of me for a bit?"

Shizuo frowned but slid out of her. "D-do you want to stop?"

"No, I just want to taste you first." Kyoko had Shizuo lay back; a tiny bit of blood was seeping through the bandages, but he didn't seem to care.

"I love your cock." Kyoko muttered and kissed the head; a bead of precum leaked out and she used the tip of her tongue to tease the slit. "It's so big inside me, I feel like it'll split me open."

Shizuo clenched the sheets and grit his teeth; she never used dirty talk like that before. "Kyoko-"

Her tongue lathered the whole shaft; Kyoko moaned as she deep throated it, hollowing out her cheeks and brushing her tongue on a vein. Shizuo cried out as she hummed and sucked and rocked her head back and forth.

"Kyoko, stop!" Shizuo gasped; Kyoko pulled back. A string of saliva connected her lips to the head; Shizuo shivered.

Kyoko laid down next to him, and nuzzled his arm; Shizuo stared back at her, his erection throbbing impatiently between his legs.

"Shizuo. I want it." Kyoko took one of his hands and rubbed herself against his fingers with a whine.

Only so many people called him by his name; most called him an assortment of insults or derogatory nicknames, but to have someone use his given name was rare.

To have a the woman he loved moan it and beg for him was enough to drive him crazy.

In a second Kyoko was flat on her back, legs spread and open in the air; Shizuo growled as he slammed into her.

Kyoko panted and gasped as he drove himself in deeper and deeper; she clutched onto his shoulders, desperately hanging on. Kyoko knew he probably shouldn't be exerting himself, but she also knew that she wouldn't be able to stop him with a reason like that at this point.

"Is this okay?" Shizuo huffed; he lifted one of her legs up onto his shoulder. "Does it feel good?"

"Yes!" Kyoko said weakly; she could hear him go in and out of her now, his shaft slippery with her cum. "It always feels so good. I want more, please Shizuo!"

"Ah, aah!" Shizuo groaned as Kyoko ran her fingers through his hair; at this point she had given up trying to match his thrusts and just let herself be impaled.

"Kyoko, Kyoko I need-fuck!" Shizuo used his good arm to hold her to him. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, his stomach stinging from the rapid movement; his right arm was getting sore.

 _"Who gives a fuck? I can't let down the woman I love. My woman needs me to-"_ Shizuo lost all train of thought as Kyoko shrieked his name. He hoped the neighbors heard, hoped everyone in a five mile radius heard her.

"I love you Shizuo." Kyoko breathed; she relished the way his hands gripped at her, the way he looked at her like nothing else existed, the way his eyes begged for something she was more than happy to give him. "Please."

Shizuo's lips bruised hers, but Kyoko couldn't care less. Her legs locked up around his waist; she came with him still pounding into at her full speed.

"Oh Shizuo." Kyoko fell limp against him with breathy whimpers; Shizuo pulled out, his semen splashing against her hip. He groaned from exhaustion and rested his sweaty forehead against her shoulder.

"You could've come in me." Kyoko panted. "I still have some morning after pills."

"I like how it looks." Shizuo mumbled; he was glued to her side.

"I'm going to need to change your bandages." Kyoko sighed. "How does your arm feel?"

"Okay. It didn't take a lot of effort to hold you up." Shizuo looked down at himself. "I'm sorry I made you worry and patch me up."

"Well, a year of medical school had to be good for something." Kyoko smiled. "I told you before, I'm here for you. That won't change."

"I like hearing you say it." Shizuo murmured; he had her resting against his chest. Kyoko gently traced her fingers around his scratches and bruises. Shizuo chewed the inside of his cheek. "I need to hear that you like it."

"I think that's called a praise kink. I think I may have cratolagnia."

"Is that a pasta?"

Kyoko giggled at his confusion. "No, that means when you get aroused from someone's strength."

"Oh." Shizuo said. "But it's just for me, right?"

"Yep." Kyoko kissed his cheek.

"You know, I usually ended up liking older women. Wonder if there's a fancy name for that." Shizuo remarked with a yawn.

"Really? I'm surprised you're attracted to me than. I'm a few years younger than you, right?" Kyoko replied; Shizuo laughed.

"Are you kidding?" he kissed her forehead and cradled her in his arms. "You're too fucking cute. You know how paranoid it makes me?"

"Don't be silly." Kyoko reprimanded him with a poke to the forehead; he would've returned the gesture, but he remembered the time he gave Shinra a concussion.

"Hey babe?"

"What?"

Shizuo hesitated; he really didn't want to kill the mood, but the question had been bugging him for a while.

"Does it really not hurt?" he rubbed tiny circles on her hip bone.

Kyoko thought for a moment. "No, but I kind of like it rough in the first place, so maybe you shouldn't go by me."

"Oh...wait, I thought I was your first?!" Shizuo exclaimed.

"I used a toy before. Maybe I can show you sometime." Kyoko teased.

Shizuo breathed in relief; the sun was up and they both felt exhausted. Still, he needed to know; maybe he'd always have to ask, but if she really loved him, maybe she wouldn't mind repeating it.

"Kyoko….you don't think I'm a freak?"

"Nope." Kyoko didn't miss a beat; she pushed back his sweaty bangs with a dorky grin. "You're adorable."

Shizuo flushed happily.

He didn't know whether he'd ever be able to control his power, whether he'd ever have a peaceful life, or even whether he had seen the last of the man he had almost killed in cold blood.

But if Kyoko was willing to stay by his side, he knew he could find someone to go home to and maybe that was all he really needed.


	37. The Direct Approach

If there was one thing Kyoko was sure of, it was that it was silly to think about the things she didn't have.

In the first place, there were many people who barely had anything to lose; there were families living on the streets, single mothers who got kicked out of their homes for having a child out of wedlock, human beings who were being forced into slave labor or as sex workers. For whatever reason, this was their lives; sometimes they were left to wallow in their misfortune and other times, they were thrown a bone. It really depended on the person with how they were able to deal with life's trials. Things could always be worse; this is what Kyoko believed and she held the sentiment close to her heart.

Kyoko sat on the park bench enjoying the warm weather; it was beautiful outside, and there wasn't too many people at the park. Shizuo was gone, insisting on bringing her ice cream. She thanked him, but secretly hoped he'd be okay on his own, even with the lack of people to piss him off. Still, Kyoko pushed her worries away and tried to bask in the sunlight that slowly warmed her skin.

"Can we get popsicles?" A small voice asked excitedly; Kyoko looked over to the direction it had come from. Across from the bench she sat at was another; there was a group of people sitting across from her. The small voice came from a little girl hopping up and down, her flip flops smacking against the ground.

"Eh, I don't know." Her father looked over to the woman on his right; she was slowly rolling a baby stroller back and forth. She looked thoughtful for a minute.

"Well, it's the weekend. I guess one popsicle wouldn't hurt…" she conceded; she looked a bit tired, but happy. Kyoko was a bit taken aback at the warmth radiating from her as she gazed at her ecstatic daughter.

Suddenly, the baby started bawling, disturbed from his sister's loud cheering; the mother hung her head in defeat.

"Ah geez." The man sighed; he chuckled wearily at his tired wife. "Why don't you guys go get a popsicle to share? I'll take this one."

The woman nodded and patted his shoulder with a grateful smile; she took her daughter's hand and led her to the vendor.

As the man sat on the bench rocking his baby and trying to distract him with a little stuffed giraffe, Kyoko felt a twinge in her chest. She found herself stealing discreet looks as he made faces, jingled his keys, and tried to fit the pacifier back in the baby's mouth in an attempt to quiet him down.

"Damn." the man groaned; the baby just wouldn't stop and he was obviously hoping he could get him to calm down before his wife came back. As Kyoko briefly turned her attention to a passing bird, she heard a loud belch and a giggle.

The man looked incredibly relieved; the baby seemed perfectly amused at his father's slight embarrassment. The woman returned with their daughter, each holding a popsicle in their hands. The woman held one out for her husband with a warm smile; the daughter teased her baby brother for not being able to eat one and he began crying again.

"Kyoko?" Shizuo had returned; his eyes were wide in concern. He held a dual popsicle of his own and had already broken it in two for them to share.

"Huh?" Kyoko looked up at him feeling a bit lost.

"Why are you crying?"

"What?" Kyoko felt her own cheeks; there was a slight dampness. She suddenly felt incredibly foolish; how long at she been crying?

"I didn't know, I-" Kyoko was at a loss for what to say; Shizuo frowned, his nostrils flaring.

"Did someone say something to you?" he looked around suspiciously for the offender. "Who was it?"

"No, that's not it." Kyoko smiled half heartedly as she hurriedly wiped her eyes; she glanced forward and could see the mother looking at her worriedly. She quickly looked away; Shizuo put a hand on her shoulder.

"Babe? What's wrong?" he was looking at her almost frantically.

"Um, could we just go home?" Kyoko's smile was strained; Shizuo nodded and handed her the popsicle; Kyoko took it while Shizuo held her hand. As they walked away, Kyoko caught sight of the woman sharing a glance with her husband.

The walk from the park to their apartment wasn't very far at all, but it felt like forever to Kyoko; she didn't say a word the whole way. Shizuo ended up eating her share of the popsicle; she wasn't hungry and it was melting in her grip.

"Kyoko, please, tell me what made you cry?" Shizuo made her look him in the eyes.

They sat side by side on the couch; Kyoko looked down at her hands, clenching them together to keep them still.

"I guess...I just felt sad." Kyoko explained softly.

"But why?" Shizuo pressed; one minute Kyoko had been smiling sweetly as he went to get them a treat, and the next tears were slipping down her cheeks, her eyes blank and pained. He just couldn't understand why.

"I'm so lucky Shizuo." Kyoko mumbled. "I really am. I have a job I love, I have a roof over my head, good health, friends, and I have you. I don't really have any right to be upset. There's so many people who don't have a fraction of the good things I do. So, why am I feeling so sorry for myself?"

Kyoko tried hard to keep the tears in; she felt she didn't deserve to cry and worry Shizuo, but as soon as his arms locked around her, she began sobbing uncontrollably into his vest.

 _"What the hell's going on?"_ Shizuo thought frustratedly. _"Why is she sad? Dammit, I hate this. Kyoko, what can I do to make this better?"_

Kyoko calmed down after a minute; her face was buried in his shirt, and she could smell his scent even through her clogged nose.

"Sorry, I'm messing up your suit." Kyoko laughed weakly.

"I don't give a sit about that. Talk to me." Shizuo reprimanded. "Whose ass do I have to kick to make you okay again?"

"No one did anything Shizuo. It's just...seeing that family, it made me sad. I kind of get that way everytime I see families like that. I can't help feeling sad, because I can't help thinking that maybe if things were different, that could've been us too. We could've been happy."

"Us?"

"My mother and father. I never really even knew them. They wanted things I couldn't care less about; still, I cared about them. I tried, but I was a failure, no matter what I did." Kyoko leaned her forehead against Shizuo's chest. "If things were different, or if I was different-"

"Don't think for one fucking second that you should've been a snobby asshole too!" Shizuo growled taking Kyoko's stunned face in his hands. "They fucked up, they were shitty parents. You're….you're amazing."

"I'm not amazing." Kyoko smiled in disbelief. "Do you realize how many people don't have families at all? What right do I have to be so upset? I should be more grateful for what I have-"

"Are you done?" Shizuo cut her off roughly; Kyoko blinked and nodded.

"Don't give me that crap. You don't have to be nice all the time you know; it ain't healthy." Shizuo grumbled. "Look, I'm not saying whine about it, I'm saying...if you want to complain or get mad, go ahead, you have just as much right as the next asshole. You can tell me. I'll listen."

"Shizuo?" Kyoko looked up at him through her tears.

"You're fine the way you are. So keep doing what you're doing." Shizuo mumbled; he let his grip relax a bit. "Just cry if you need to and smile again when you're done letting it out. Keep smiling or I won't be happy."

"Kyoko...will you make miso soup for me everyday?!" Shizuo blurted out; he slapped his forehead at her bewildered expression. "Shit, hold on. Let me be more direct."

Kyoko was further stunned into silence as Shizuo let her go; he kneeled in front of her on the floor, his hands holding hers with the utmost care.

"I'm sorry, I don't have a ring to do this with. I can't afford one, because I'm a reckless numbskull who can't go a day without destroying property and having it taken out of my wages." Shizuo averted his eyes to the ground with a disparaging smile; Kyoko just stared.

"I know I can be hard to deal with. I know I can be selfish and stubborn, but I also know without a doubt that no one else could ever love you as much as I do." Shizuo paused and removed his sunglasses before taking her trembling hands; he held them like glass. With a deep sigh, Shizuo brought the knuckles to his lips, kissing them reverently.

"Kyoko...marry me." Shizuo murmured into her skin.

By this time Kyoko's tears had completely stopped; she could hear him clearly. In fact, the only thing she could hear was his hushed voice and her heart slamming in her chest; the oxygen she needed to form rational thoughts and words had left her.

"Marry me." Shizuo repeated his voice rising slightly. "I'll be your family, your friend, your lover, anything you need. I'll make you happy and if I fuck up, I'll kick my own ass if that's what it takes for you to smile again. Please Kyoko."

"Shizuo." Kyoko whispered. "You were wrong."

Shizuo grunted in surprise as she threw herself around into his arms; they both fell to the floor in a tangled heap. Kyoko pressed her lips to his almost shyly and pulled back; she was glowing.

"You're amazing." Kyoko corrected him.

Shizuo grinned. "That's a yes then?"

Kyoko laughed and held him closer. "I love you."

"Come on woman, don't keep me in suspense." Shizuo demanded sternly; the effect was ruined by his wide smile. Kyoko smiled back, knowing this was the man who had just made her day, no her life, a thousand times better.

"Yes."


	38. Desperate Measures

**Warning: sexual content and some violence.**

"What are you wearing?"

Kyoko looked at Shizuo in mild surprise; he rarely had anything to say on her fashion choices. She looked down at herself to check for a stain.

"Clothes?" Kyoko picked at the shirt fabric.

"It's showing too much skin." Shizuo frowned.

"Seriously?" Kyoko scoffed. "It's over eighty degrees outside. Come to think of it, how are you still wearing a full bartending suit in this heat?"

Shizuo blinked. "Well, I don't feel very-hey, don't change the subject!"

"Shizuo, stop being such a grandma, it's sweltering outside and I'm already dressed. Let's just go out and relax." she kissed his cheek with a giggle. "Don't you like it?"

Her spaghetti strap top stretched tantalizingly over her chest; Shizuo looked down at her exposed legs, the jean shorts ending a few inches under the curve of her butt. If she lifted her arms high enough, he'd be able to see her belly button. While the outfit didn't quite look inappropriate, there was just enough skin showing to make him think vaguely dirty thoughts.

"Yeah, I do. That's the problem; what guy wouldn't like it?"

Kyoko rolled her eyes with an exasperated smile. "Stop worrying. I'm with you; you're my fiance, you'll protect me right?"

Shizuo still looked skeptical, but he couldn't hide the redness at the tips of his ears as he fought a pleased smile; Kyoko knew he was okay as they left.

Well, until a half hour later.

"Hello cutie, nice ass!"

The guy couldn't have been older than 18, a dumb kid who thought he'd look cool in front of his friends with his brazen form of 'flirting'; his hand was raised to smack Kyoko's behind. Before she could so much as move, the offending hand was snatched in mid air.

Kyoko looked over at Shizuo, unable to see his expression hidden behind his sunglasses. He wasn't smiling anymore.

"Uh, s-sorry." The kid didn't seem aware of who Shizuo was; regardless, he looked visibly scared of this odd looking man who had an iron grip on his wrist. The kid looked at Kyoko. "Hey, lady, I'm really so-"

"Don't talk to her."

A stomach curling scream like an animal in pain. Thin bone sticking halfway out of ripped up skin. A steady stream of blood. Kyoko's wide eyes staring as the kid fell to his knees, holding his arm in disbelief; one of the other kids called either the ambulance or the police, because Kyoko could hear sirens in the distance. Shizuo only began running after Kyoko begged and dragged him away; he was going to do more, if not for her panicked tears.

"Shizuo…" Kyoko panted as they stepped inside their bedroom; she had anxiously locked the door, resisting the urge to barricade it. Not that anyone would come; who would seriously believe that a human male could actually break a man's bones with just a flick of his wrist?

Shizuo ignored her; he leaned against the door silently.

Kyoko shook her head. "What happened back there? Why-?"

"Why did you leave the house wearing that?!" Shizuo stormed over to her, his teeth bared in a snarl. "This city is crawling with scumbags who don't know how to keep their hands to themselves."

Kyoko's own glare wavered. "He was just a stupid kid, you didn't have to break his hand off!"

"I should've killed him." Shizuo took Kyoko by the shoulders and smashed his lips against her own; his arms held her tightly, constricting any movement.

"Shizuo!" Kyoko gasped when he finally pulled away, making quick work of stripping her as he carried her to their bed. "Wait!"

Shizuo wasn't listening; Kyoko stared wide eyed as he yanked off his own clothes, his eyes filled with an eerie calm.

"It's not your fault babe. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm just happy I was able to catch that bastard in the act." Shizuo pressed two fingers inside Kyoko at once and began roughly rubbing her clit; she screamed from the intense sensation and tried to close her legs.

"Oh no you don't." Shizuo growled; he forced apart her legs. "You said you liked my strength right?"

Without waiting for a response, Shizuo picked up Kyoko and held her up against the wall; he slowly lowered her onto his shaft. Kyoko grabbed his shoulders to keep from falling, but she didn't need to worry. He chuckled lowly and made her bounce up and down on his shaft, his hands gripping under her thighs; it was as if she weighed nothing. Kyoko shrieked as Shizuo sucked her nipple, rolling his tongue around the sensitive nub.

"I'm so pissed still...should've torn his arm off. What if I hadn't been there?" Shizuo mumbled.

"Shizuo, please!" Kyoko cried out; for what, she wasn't sure. "I wouldn't have just let him!"

"I don't care. I'd do it again." Shizuo slipped out of her with a huff. He flipped Kyoko onto her hands and knees on the bed; she yelped as he lightly squeezed her ass. "I'm not mad at you. I just want you to know you're mine."

With one thrust he was inside her; Kyoko clawed at the pillows above her head and screamed.

"It's deeper this way, isn't it?" Shizuo asked quietly. "How does it feel?"

"Oh god!" Kyoko took deep breaths to get used to the penetration. "It-it hurts a bit."

"Don't worry babe." Shizuo smirked wildly as his hands reached around to fondle her breasts. "I'll make it good."

Kyoko turned her head sideways to look at him; she was torn between fear at this new show of dominance and the thrill that went through her as Shizuo trailed his fingers down her spine. His hands grasped her hips and he began thrusting slowly to help her get used to it. It didn't last long.

"Fuck." Shizuo groaned; his gaze was unfocused as he watched his erection stretch her. "You like taking my dick?"

"S-Shizuo." Kyoko whimpered as he began rutting against her; he growled and went faster. She didn't know who he was, using dirty talk and possessively pawing at her. His smile was beastly, not unsure or shy. There was no restraint and it was making her dizzy and weak.

 _"I can deal with that he gets jealous easily, but I don't know how much more of this I can handle."_ Kyoko thought as she braced herself against the bedpost.

"Can you hear it? Your pussy makes the dirtiest sounds when I'm fucking you." Shizuo moaned as Kyoko raised her ass up higher, the rest of her body falling limp on the bed. "I'm the only one who gets to see you like this, right? Right?!"

Kyoko sobbed as he gave her cheek a hard squeeze. "Yes, yes! Only you!"

Suddenly, he pulled her off and sat down at the edge of the bed, setting her back down on him slowly. Shizuo lifted her up by her hips and after a second slammed her back down.

"Ah ah ah!" Kyoko squealed as he repeatedly made her bounce on him; Shizuo listened to her with a smirk.

"You like that? You like being fucked by my big cock?"

Kyoko gasped in both pleasure and shock. _"Who is this guy?"_

"I know I like it. Fucking love it." Shizuo muttered as he kissed the back of her neck. Kyoko just gasped for air as he pummeled into her; she struggled to stay upright. "Oh babe, come here." Shizuo pulled her up against his chest, still slamming into her at an inhuman speed; his hands were kneading her breasts, his mouth lightly sucking at the nape of her neck. "You're too good to me, so wet and tight. You wanna come?"

"Yes Shizuo!" Kyoko clung to him, ragged screams being torn from her mouth with every rock of his hips. She sincerely enjoyed it, but it was getting hard to even breath; he had never touched her this way before. "Please, it's too much!"

"Alright, hold on." Shizuo's teeth baring smile made Kyoko shiver as he lightly massaged her clit; the intensity of the orgasm left her limp in his arms, her knees knocking together, and her hands numb from gripping onto his arms tightly.

"My turn." Shizuo flipped her on her back, his pace not slowing down in the least; usually he would decrease the speed to give her a chance to breath. "Kyoko, do you love me?"

"Y-yes." her back arched from the force of his thrusts. _"What the heck's gotten into him? I can't tell if he's still in a rage or horny."_

Shizuo's vision was going red. Kyoko was meant for him alone; that punk had no right, had no right at all to be graced with her gaze, let alone the feel of her soft skin.

"Mine. You're mine Kyoko." Shizuo moaned; he was practically lifting her off the bed by her legs and Kyoko was ready to pass out. Every limb was heavy and she was exhausted from the physical strain, but Shizuo just wasn't letting up, sucking and nipping her neck; her mind was blank.

"Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine." Shizuo chanted the word like a prayer as he came inside her; he leaned over to give her a love bite. "MINE!"

The taste of copper flooded his mouth; a sharp scream tore through his every nerve. Kyoko yanked him away from her neck by his hair and sobbed. Shizuo stared down at his own teeth marks already beginning to bruise her pale skin; the wound oozed red.

"Kyoko!"

He watched horrified as she laid there gritting her teeth against the pain, tears freely falling down her cheeks and into her hair.

"Hang on, I-I'll get something to stop the bleeding!" Shizuo tore through the house and came back with a rag from the kitchen.

"I can't use that!" Kyoko snapped at him; her shoulder was shaking from the searing pain. "It's dirty with dish water, it'll infect it. Move, I'll get something!"

She pushed past him into the bathroom; Shizuo collapsed on the bed wringing the rag in his hands.

 _"No."_

He hurt her. He bit her, like some rabid dog.

 _"No, no, I didn't mean to. I couldn't control it, Kyoko knows I'd never hurt her on purpose-"_

She was in pain and it was because of him. He had gotten selfish and lost control and hurt her and she was bleeding so much and she was crying-

 _"All I do is ruin everything I touch."_ Shizuo stared down at his hands. _"All I can do is hurt people."_

Kyoko whimpered as she sat back down on the bed gingerly. She put pressure on the towel and winced; Shizuo felt as if he had been stabbed. The worst part was that he knew she'd forgive him.

"Kyoko." Shizuo managed to croak out; she looked at him with a frown. "I know how I can keep from hurting you. I should've done it a long time ago, but better late than never, right?"

He took one of his own wrists in his hand, smiling at her faintly. "It was so obvious...I think I can smash the other one if I step on it."

Before she could protest, Shizuo snapped his wrist in half.

"What?" Shizuo looked at his hand strangely; he had used full force, had put everything he had into it. His wrist was still in place.

"S-Shizuo stop!" Kyoko begged as she grabbed his upper arm; he paid her no attention, though her words were unnecessary. No matter how hard he tried, his bone would not break.

Shizuo stared down at his hands blankly. "I guess even I can't even break them. Heh."

Kyoko watched helplessly as Shizuo's body wracked with irregular sobs; he smashed a fist into the bed, punching a hole through the mattress. She silently wrapped her arms around his shoulders, fighting the urge to cry. He needed her right now.

"K-Kyoko." Shizuo clutched onto her and cradled her as he rocked back and forth on the bed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry-"

"Don't. I shouldn't have snapped at you." Kyoko told him softly. "I know you didn't mean to. It just hurt, but-"

"I'll fix it." Shizuo's red rimmed eyes shone with a crazed energy. "I'll go get you some medicine, okay babe? Isn't it in the bathroom?"

"It's okay Shizuo." Kyoko gently removed his arms and tried to scoot off the bed. "Here, I'll just go-"

"No, I can do it!" Shizuo tugged her back down; Kyoko yelped in pain and Shizuo felt a lump in his throat.

"No, no, I'm okay, really! It's just sore now, not even bleeding anymore." Kyoko tried to give him a reassuring smile.

"Stay here, I'll get you anything you need, okay?"

"Oh, come on." she laughed in disbelief. "You act like I'm gonna run off!"

Shizuo stared right into her eyes, hopefully. "Y-you promise you won't?"

"Uh, yeah." Kyoko blinked. "Shizuo, I think we really need to to talk."

"What?" Shizuo whispered; his voice took an almost accusatory tone. "You…..you're leaving me aren't you? You promised you'd stay."

Shizuo grabbed her around the waist, his face buried in her chest; he cut off Kyoko before she could get a word in. "I'll be more careful. Kyoko, you said you loved me." he smothered her injured shoulder with gentle, frantic kisses. "Please don't do this."

"Whoa, whoa, hang on a second!" Kyoko exclaimed. "Shizuo, that's not what I meant at all! Geez, don't be so paranoid." she took a deep breath. "Look, I want to marry you for a reason you know. I wish you hadn't bit me that hard, but it's not like you did it on purpose."

"You're not mad?"

"No, not mad..." Kyoko said carefully. "I don't like being in pain, but I'm not going to dump you over one mistake. It's silly to end a relationship that makes me so happy over an accident, don't you think?"

Shizuo sniffed and gazed down at the darkening bite marks. "I'll make it up to you."

"You don't have to. You didn't do anything wrong." Kyoko kissed him. When they pulled apart, Shizuo frowned slightly.

"Did I hurt you earlier?" he asked. "I really lost it there. I don't know what happened."

"Just a tiny bit sore. Probably got a few bruises." Kyoko nuzzled his neck. "Don't feel bad. You were amazing."

"Really?"

"Really." Kyoko giggled as Shizuo sighed in relief; she relaxed into his arms. "Almost makes me want to get you jealous. But not really!" she corrected seeing his thoughtful look.

"I'm not sorry for it." Shizuo grumbled. "I'm protecting my fiance. That little prick needs to learn how to treat women with respect anyhow."

Kyoko rolled her eyes and snuggled into his chest. "Pick your battles, will you? I don't want you to get arrested over something so trivial."

"Kyoko?"

"What?"

Shizuo lifted her face to his. "We were supposed to be at my parents two hours ago."

"Ah crap."


	39. Incidents

Sometimes, words weren't needed.

"Hey Shizuo." Kyoko said lightly; she smiled up at Shizuo from her seat on the couch. He did not smile; he stomped over to the couch and sat down with his arms crossed.

"Bad day, huh? Wanna talk about it?"

Shizuo grunted roughly.

"Want some dinner?"

He shook his head and sank deeper into his seat with a frown.

"How about some milk?"

Shizuo huffed and shook his head.

Kyoko thought for a moment. "Sexy time?"

Shizuo hesitated, but shook his head with an apologetic sigh.

"That bad?"

He grumbled and crossed his arms tighter across his chest; Kyoko leaned into his side.

"How about we just go upstairs and snuggle for a bit?"

Shizuo nodded slowly; he picked Kyoko up and she clung to him in a koala-like fashion.

Sometimes little efforts meant the most, even if they didn't always come out right.

"Shizuo, you really don't have to." Kyoko said for what she thought was the tenth time that day; Shizuo shook his head stubbornly.

"I'm staying to take care of you."

"It's really not that bad. Besides…" Kyoko trailed off.

Shizuo looked at her questioningly. "What?"

"It's just...well…"

Kyoko hated to admit that having Shizuo around while she was sick might be more stressful than him being gone; she appreciated him wanting to help, but she was a bit worried about the state of her kitchen after today.

"I can just heat up soup and tea by myself." Kyoko replied. "And I feel bad making you miss work too."

"No. You're going to be my wife; I'll take care of everything." Shizuo kissed her forehead. "I'll be right back. Besides, how hard can it be to make rice porridge?" He chuckled.

Kyoko settled back into the bed; an hour later, Shizuo woke her up carrying a bowl on a serving tray. His sleeve was on fire.

"How did that even happen!?" Kyoko asked as Shizuo blew on the fabric; he set down the tray with a proud smile.

"Don't worry babe. The kitchen's a bit of a mess, but I think the porridge came out great."

"Um, Shizuo?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think it's supposed to be brown." Regardless, Kyoko took a bite; she winced.

"You hate it, don't you?" Shizuo sighed.

"Yeah, it's a bit...burnt." Kyoko smiled and held Shizuo around the waist. "But I love you."

"You won't after you see the kitchen…"

Sometimes, things got awkward.

"Uh, Shizuo?"

"Huh?" Shizuo held his arm tighter across Kyoko's waist; in his opinion, spooning was the best cuddling position. He got to hold her against him and she was kept warm and covered up by his larger body. Not that it didn't have it's drawbacks.

"Are you...hard?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Oh. Did you want to…?"

Shizuo blushed. "No. It just gets that way sometimes when I feel comfortable. I mean, you're all soft and warm, and it's just feels nice. I don't want to do it right now though...not that I don't like it when we do it, but-!"

"Shizuo, it's okay." Kyoko smiled. "I don't mind, I was just curious."

"Oh. Sorry, did I wake you?"

Kyoko smiled at him awkwardly. "Well, you were kind of grinding against me."

"I was?!"

Sometimes, things got a bit crazy.

"Shizuo, wake up." Kyoko shook his shoulder gently. He snored on obliviously. "We have to be at your parents in two hours."

 _"Damn he's a heavy sleeper."_ Kyoko marveled. _"He's so sweet looking. Oh, he's drooling again."_

She moved to wipe it off, and started when she heard him mutter.

"No….it's my milk."

Kyoko held a hand to her mouth to muffle her giggling; she took a breath and tried to listen carefully.

"Asshole….Kyoko, make him…."

 _"What does he want me to do?"_

"What? You can't, I drink it all the time!..."

Kyoko shook his shoulder again; nothing.

 _"Maybe I should get a wet rag again."_

Shizuo grabbed her arm just as she got off the bed; his eyes were half open.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"

"What?!"

"You can't divorce me and take all the milk!"

"I'm not!"

Kyoko looked at him with wide eyes as he slowly laid back down.

"What the fuck?" she whispered as Shizuo slept on peacefully; one of his legs twitched. After a moment, Kyoko left and doused a rag with cold water; she patted his face with it. Shizuo yawned and woke up.

"Hey babe." Shizuo stretched his arm; Kyoko burst into laughter. "What, did I say something funny?"

"What the hell were you dreaming about?!" Kyoko held her stomach as she bent over, struggling to breath.

"I was dreaming?"

Kyoko kissed his cheek and held him close. "Oh god I love you." she chuckled breathlessly. "You know I'd never divorce you and take all the milk."

"Oh….good."

And other times were incredibly precious.

Shizuo had just come home from work; he and Tom had been out all night collecting money and he was exhausted and grouchy. He sighed heavily as he walked into the dim apartment.

"Kyoko?" he called out tentatively; no answer. "She must be asleep."

Shizuo couldn't help feel a tiny bit disappointed; he wanted Kyoko to get her sleep of course. She had a regular day job she needed to get to in the morning; still, he couldn't say he didn't like the times where he had found her dozing on the couch, waiting for him to get home with a sleepy smile.

There was a light coming from their bedroom; Shizuo went inside as quietly as he could. Kyoko's reading lamp was still on, but she was fast asleep under the covers. Shizuo crept over the the dresser and slowly pulled out the drawers with his t shirts and underwear.

 _"Okay, gotta be quiet."_ Shizuo thought to himself as he slipped off his tie. _"She looks knocked out, but I don't want to wake her up. Kyoko needs her sleep."_

He was right in the middle of pulling on his shirt when he heard Kyoko speak to him.

"Shizuo…."

"Sorry babe." Shizuo quickly put his clothes on the hamper and turned to face her. "Work went later than I-"

Kyoko's head was still buried in the pillow; her eyes were closed and her mouth fell open slightly. "Love you….."

"Kyoko?" Shizuo asked softly; he sat down on the bed, the mattress sinking under his weight, but Kyoko didn't stir. He laid down beside her with a confused gaze.

"Are you awake?"

"Shizuo…?" Kyoko breathed; her voice was so soft, he wouldn't have been able to hear it otherwise if he hadn't been straining to listen.

 _"She's sleep talking."_ Shizuo realized. _"She's dreaming...about me?"_

"Love you Shizuo…" Kyoko held the blanket closer to her with a little moan.

Shizuo couldn't handle it anymore; he felt his heart melt as he leaned down to kiss her forehead. He couldn't remember the last time he wanted to hold her so badly, but he swore already to let her get her rest.

"Kyoko." Shizuo sighed into her hair; he wasn't going to say it back just yet.

He wanted her to be awake when he told her, for that time and every other time to come.


	40. Family

Kyoko had never felt more welcome anywhere than with Shizuo's family.

"Kyoko-chan, please sit down, you're our guest!" Namiko exclaimed as Kyoko rose from her seat and began gathering the dishes.

"I want to help. It was so nice of you to make all this food, I should at least help you clean up." Kyoko insisted.

Namiko looked ready to protest before Kichirou spoke up.

"Actually dear, there's something I'd like to talk to Shizuo about privately."

Namiko nodded in assent and Kyoko followed her into the kitchen with the dishes; Shizuo looked to his father curiously before following him into the other room.

"So, you've been at your job for almost a year now." Namiko started as she turned on the sink; she tested the warmth of the water before beginning to rinse off the utensils. "Are you enjoying it?"

Kyoko smiled. "I love it. Just the other day a man brought in this parrot that wouldn't stop cursing. He got it from a shelter; it makes me wonder who the heck had it before, you know?"

"What did he bring the bird in for?" Namiko chuckled lightly as she handed Kyoko a clean dish to dry.

"He was worried because the parrot was molting."

"Molting? You mean, losing its feathers?" Namiko asked with wide eyes. "Why would it do that?"

"Sometimes they'll do it out of stress. That, or they're just getting on in years." Kyoko explained; it tickled her that Namiko was paying her rapt attention. Her own mother wouldn't have even asked about her work, let alone listen to her talk about it.

"I heard parrots live a long time. Or is that canaries?" Namiko smiled sheepishly; Shizuo's resemblance to her was very clear in that moment. They had the same somewhat self conscious way of smiling, the same gentle eyes. "I don't know much about animals at all; we never kept any pets. We were worried with Shizuo's...condition." Namiko grimaced a bit in thought; after all this time, they hadn't really found a term to address Shizuo's inhuman strength.

Kyoko smiled a bit sadly. "Shizuo always says how sorry he is, that he made things hard for you guys."

"I'll admit, it wasn't easy, but he's our son." Namiko said as if there could be any other option. "I just wish we could've done more. He tried not to show it, but we could tell he was lonely. We almost got a dog for him at one point."

"Really?"

Namiko switched off the faucet and dried her hands. "We thought maybe a big dog, one he could play with and take for runs. We figured the responsibility of having one might make him feel better; our place is way too small though, and seeing as how strong Shizuo is, he might've actually hurt it by accident. It just would've broke his heart."

"Sometimes when Shizuo comes to get me from work for lunch, I'll have a client with a dog; sometimes they'll know who Shizuo is and get anxious. Do you know what Shizuo does?" Kyoko grinned.

Namiko shook her head with a curious expression.

"He pets the dog and starts talking to them; if they're nervous for the check up, him being there calms them down." Kyoko giggled. "You should've seen the look on this woman's face when her little dog was trying to play tug of war with him!"

"I'm so glad Kyoko-chan." Namiko said with a soft smile; Kyoko stopped laughing and cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"When you have children, you want to protect them from everything." Namiko sighed. "You think the world should be a perfect place where they can be happy, where they never cry or feel bad or get hurt. The day Shizuo tried to throw that fridge at Kasuka, I knew this would be even harder to do, maybe impossible."

Namiko took a deep breath; she suddenly looked very old. It struck Kyoko that, as much as she loved her son, the years of dealing with Shizuo's rages must have taken a toll on her. No doubt Shizuo could see it himself.

"I hoped that he would get better; when that seemed impossible, I hoped he could be happy with that power. For a while, that also seemed like it wouldn't happen." Namiko was smiling suddenly, wide and ecstatic as if she had discovered a treasure. "But then one day he comes home and he's smiling and he's trying not to talk about this girl he ran into who made him drop his ice cream, but he does anyway. It was like he couldn't help himself. I don't remember the last time he was so happy..."

Kyoko's eyes widened; she had no idea that Shizuo was already talking about her to his family when they were just starting to hang out.

"Do you see Kyoko-chan, how much this means to us? How much you mean to us?" Namiko gently took Kyoko's hands in hers. "The day he called to tell us he was getting married to you is what made us hopeful again. We just want him to have a nice, peaceful life, at least as much as he can."

"I want to make him happy." Kyoko looked down at her hands. "I'm kind of nervous though. I hope I'm doing everything right…"

"Oh, you're probably not, but no one really is." Namiko laughed good naturedly. "It's not easy being in a relationship, especially when your husband has the temper and strength of an ox. Promise me that whatever happens, you won't break his heart?"

Kyoko held her hands back tightly. "Never."

Namiko hugged her. "You're a good girl; and as troublesome as he can be, Shizuo's a good boy. Oh, I guess I should say man." Namiko sighed wistfully. "My baby's all grown up now. So, when should I expect grandkids? I'm not getting any younger you know, either you or Ruri-chan need to deliver."

As Kyoko sputtered an answer, Shizuo listened intently as Kichirou departed some words of wisdom.

"Don't fuck this up son." Kichirou said holding Shizuo firmly by his shoulders; his gaze was steady and serious, mirroring his son's own expression. "Now it's important to protect your wife, but you know what's even more important?"

"What?"

"Making her feel safe." Kichirou said. "I know it's hard to control yourself, but once you're married, you're not just living for yourself anymore. You're living to make her secure, to support her, and most of all, listen. You know what you need to do if Kyoko-chan starts talking about someone being a problem at work?"

"Kill them."

"What? No!" Kichirou said. "You let her vent, and don't try to fix the problem."

Shizuo scratched his head. "Uh, dad, shouldn't I be trying to help?"

Kichirou shook his head. "Yeah, but listen to her vent first. Communicating is very important to women; sometimes you just need to shut the fuck up and listen."

"Ah." Shizuo nodded. "Well, if someone is harassing her, can I kill them then?"

"No! Think about your wife dammit!" Kichirou took Shizuo by the shoulders firmly. "Think about how Kyoko-chan will feel having to spend your first year anniversary talking to you behind a glass case. Just give them a flick to the forehead or something, okay? And don't tell your mother I said that..."

"Yeah, you're right dad." Shizuo sighed with a frown. "I want to be a good husband."

"Look, we all mess up sometimes." Kichirou smiled with a wistful sigh. "Women are just wonderful son. They're compassionate, thoughtful, gorgeous; Kyoko-chan is the best daughter-in-law a father could ask for. If you love each other, you'll make it work."

Shizuo smiled slightly at his dad. "Yeah."

"Kichirou, what are you telling Shizuo?"

Namiko and Kyoko appeared from the kitchen with desserts.

"I'm just giving him marriage advice." Kichirou said nodding wisely as he took the sundae his wife handed to him. "Shizuo's a man now, and he should act as such so he can-hey, where's the chocolate sauce?"

"We ran out." Namiko said as she sat down next to Kichirou; Kyoko sat down next to Shizuo with a giggle.

"But that's the best part!" Kichirou sulked.

"I'm sure you'll be fine dear." Namiko said dully.

Kyoko fed Shizuo the cherry from her sundae. _"Well, I know where he gets his sweet tooth."_


	41. Got Milk?

**Warning: graphic sexual content.**

"Uh, Shizuo?"

"Mm?" Shizuo looked up at Kyoko from under his eyelashes; she looked back down at him with flushed cheeks as he gave her nipple one last suck.

"You okay?"

Kyoko bit her lip; it had taken a while for Shizuo to be as comfortable as he was being physical with her. The first time they kissed he had kept his hands firmly to his sides for safety reasons. It had taken a lot of coaxing and reassurance to make him see she wasn't made of glass and that he could touch her without needing to keep bandages and ice on hand. She wanted Shizuo to enjoy the physical aspects of their relationship without any reservations.

Even so, he was being oddly fixated on a specific part of her body lately, and she honestly didn't know what to make of it.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why…?" Kyoko didn't know how to put it politely. "Why do you keep taking thirty minutes to suck and pull on my nipples for the past two months?"

Shizuo froze. "What? Oh, I didn't mean to...do they hurt?"

"No, they're just a bit sensitive. It seems like every time we have sex, you play with them more and more." Kyoko held his hands. "I don't want you to feel self conscious about what you like. I'm just curious. I mean, you never used to be so...enthusiastic about them before."

"Right." Shizuo didn't expect her to notice; well, he had prayed she didn't. "I've actually been meaning to talk to you about something."

"What?" Kyoko asked gently.

"I-I wanted to try something new." Shizuo stuttered. "Kyoko, I really like milk."

"...Okay." Kyoko tried not to laugh. "I don't get it though. What's that have to do with sex?"

Shizuo's fists clenched the bedsheets; his erection was slowly falling limp from embarrassment.

"I want to…."

Kyoko frowned. "What?"

"I've been wanting to…."

"Shizuo, will you speak up I can't read lips." Kyoko could feel her patience dwindling.

"I want to suck milk from your nipples okay?! There, I said it!" Shizuo averted his gaze stubbornly; Kyoko looked down at her breasts curiously.

"Um, I don't think I can do that."

Shizuo sighed heavily. "It was stupid, I won't bring it up again, okay? Let's just go back to-"

"I mean I can't do it unless I'm pregnant, right?"

Shizuo blinked; he was suddenly filled with an incredible sense of hope.

"Actually, you could...I just need to make them feel really good and prepare them for a while..." Shizuo's hands massaged right under her chest tentatively. "I need to pull them a certain way when I suck on them. I didn't want to do it without your permission though."

Kyoko blushed a tiny bit. "You can...I don't know what it'll taste like though."

"I can?" Shizuo asked quietly; Kyoko kissed his hands and nodded.

"I bet it's gonna tastes so sweet." Shizuo murmured; he lowered his face to her breasts and pressed in between them with a sigh. Kyoko could feel his erection throbbing against her hip; she smiled slightly at his sudden eagerness.

"Kyoko." Shizuo beamed up at her; he was smiling at her so sweetly, Kyoko immediately knew she wouldn't regret this.

Shizuo's tongue slowly circled one of her nipples; he loved the way they felt soft and warm in his mouth. He loved how playing with them long enough made them turn red, how they got slick and wet from his saliva. The best part was the way Kyoko's moans got so high pitched and breathy when he paid them special attention.

"I'm gonna make you leak now, okay babe?" Shizuo whispered. Kyoko nodded; one of her hands was gripping on to his shoulder, the other tangled in his hair.

"I think it's happening now." Kyoko breathed. "I can feel something."

Shizuo gently pinched the nipple and sucked; the milk leaked into his mouth.

"Shizuo?" Kyoko asked softly. "Did it come out? How does it taste?"

"It tastes just like milk." Shizuo mumbled; he gave her right nipple an experimental lick. "A bit watered down….sweeter too."

Shizuo stared blankly as a drop of milk leaked out onto his palm. "It's so warm."

Kyoko gasped as he began suckling her; her hands gripped onto his hair tightly, but he didn't seem to even feel it.

Shizuo hummed around the nub, his eyes closed in bliss; he was practically climbing on her, his arms and legs were wrapped around her body, and Kyoko could feel his hard shaft poking into her thigh.

 _"How long has he been wanting to do this?"_ Kyoko watched as Shizuo's suckling became a bit more urgent.

"There's more coming out. It tastes so good." Shizuo gasped lightly and switched to Kyoko's left breast; he began rubbing against her.

"Shizuo, not so rough okay?" Kyoko said as she gently stroked his hair. "They're sensitive."

The milk was practically squirting into his mouth now, hot and sweet as he swallowed gulp after gulp; he wanted more. Shizuo pulled away, his breathing a bit harsh; he clung to her with a soft moan.

"Kyoko, I want to be inside you now." Shizuo's fingers went to her clit; Kyoko pushed back against them, grateful for the short break. Before she knew it, Shizuo had already slipped on a condom and was buried deep in her, his mouth switching nipples as he moved.

"Fuck, I'm not gonna last long babe." Shizuo licked the milk dribbling down her breast; he looked up at Kyoko with cloudy eyes, his tempo slow and hard.

"It's okay, just keep going." Kyoko moaned; it felt good, but she could tell Shizuo was in a haze.

"It's so good, feels so good. Shit!" Shizuo began drinking almost frantically, moaning in between suckling. It was too much; her skin was so soft and her milk was so sweet and making him feel so full and warm.

"Kyoko, hold me tighter, I'm almost-ah!" Shizuo cried out; Kyoko felt like he was trying to suck her dry, his lips and tongue coaxing as much milk as they could. Kyoko petted his hair and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, bracing herself against his erratic thrusts.

It only took another second before Shizuo came with a broken moan, lazily lapping at Kyoko's now slightly swollen red nipples. She could feel his limbs go slack as he came down from the high.

"You okay?" Kyoko asked as she wiped the sweat from his forehead; Shizuo nodded dumbly.

"I feel so sleepy. I'm sorry Kyoko." he gently pulled out his flaccid shaft, clumsily pulling off the condom and throwing it away.

"Don't worry about it. To be honest, they feel a bit sore anyway." Kyoko laid Shizuo down with her; she could see a glimmer of guilt in his tired eyes.

"It's okay Shizuo. It felt really good."

Shizuo yawned. "You're so soft Kyoko, inside and out. It just feels real comfortable, you know?"

"Hey Shizuo, I'm curious; why nursing?"

"I don't have a mommy kink if that's what you're wondering." Shizuo glared weakly; it was adorable.

"I wasn't." Kyoko's smile was fond; she slowly combed his hair as his head lolled on her shoulder.

"I don't know." Shizuo sighed wearily. "I guess it's like...you're taking care of me? I really like that."

Kyoko cocked her head in confusion. "Taking care of you?"

"Yeah." Shizuo grunted, burying his face into her neck; whether it was from mortification or exhaustion, Kyoko couldn't tell. "I guess I depend on you. I want to protect you, but sometimes I think you're the really strong one. I know it sounds damn weird." Shizuo chuckled a bit as he leaned in closer. "I feel safe with you."

"Oh Shizuo, you're so..." Kyoko felt as if her heart was going to burst from happiness.

"Sappy?" Shizuo supplied dryly; regardless, he couldn't help feeling a bit relieved.

"Yeah, but coming from you, it's sweet. I'm glad you feel that way with me. It's exactly how I feel about you." Kyoko assured him with a wide grin; Shizuo was always a bit rough around the edges, but these moments of genuine heartfelt emotion meant a lot to her.

"You feel safe with me?" Shizuo stare was incredulous; Kyoko nodded and Shizuo blinked in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes!" Kyoko giggled.

"That's good." Shizuo gave her a hesitant smile. "No one's ever said that to me before...no one's ever told me...they love me before. Not like you do."

"I'll say it everyday if you want." Kyoko kissed the top of his head; his hair was dry from the continued bleaching and dye jobs, but it felt perfect to her.

"Everyday? Sounds like you'd get sick of saying it at some point." Shizuo said quietly.

"If it makes you that happy, it'd be worth it. I'll say it until my teeth fall out and my jaw stops working!"

Shizuo looked up at her. "Okay, calm down, you're starting to freak me out now."

"And I'll scream it for you every night." Kyoko said; that caught his attention.

"So, can we do this again sometimes?" Shizuo asked after a moment.

"Sure, but not too much though. They're a bit achey."

"Okay. Sorry."

"Hey Shizuo?"

"Hm?" Shizuo rested his cheek on the top of her breasts and pulled the blanket around them tightly; he was ready to pass out.

Kyoko blew into his ear, her hot breath tickling his hair. "I love you."

"Love you too dammit." Shizuo face was hidden in her chest, but he couldn't cover the red tips of his ears.


	42. There's First Time for Everything

"Where should we go today?" Kyoko asked as she leaned back into the couch.

"No where." Shizuo replied shortly.

"But we both have the day off!" Kyoko said. "We should do something!"

"I am doing something." Shizuo retorted. "I'm trying to sleep. Wanna try it with me?"

Kyoko looked at him dully. "You never take me out anymore. Are you ashamed of me?"

"What? Of course not." Shizuo said. "Hell, when we first started dating I thought you'd be ashamed to take me anywhere."

"Oh, remember our first date?" Kyoko leaned into his shoulder with a blissful smile; Shizuo looked down at her strangely.

"Yeah. Is that a good thing?"

Kyoko smiled a bit. "Well…"

 ** _Two years earlier:_**

 _"This is it."_ Shizuo looked at himself in the mirror; his white shirt and slacks were freshly ironed and his hair was partially combed back. He glared at the stubborn bits of hair that refused to lie flat, but decided it was more important to focus on calming his nerves.

 _"This is gonna be our first official date. Shit, it's my first official date ever…"_ Shizuo recalled as he walked to Kyoko's apartment; he couldn't help noticing his scuffed shoes and wishing he could've had them fixed.

"Shizuo?" Kyoko opened the door just as he approached her porch; she smiled at him so happily, it took Shizuo a bit off guard; it didn't help she was wearing a cute dress that made her look more delicate than usual.

"H-hey Kyoko...were you waiting for me long?" Shizuo asked quietly; he held out his elbow to her with a stiff motion. Kyoko blushed and took it.

"Wow you look great!" Kyoko exclaimed; she had to walk a bit faster to keep up with him and was thankful she had decided to wear flats. "And no, I only just got done getting ready. Hey Shizuo?"

"What's up?"

"Are you sure you want to go to Kushikoma? We don't have to go somewhere fancy you know."

Shizuo scowled. "This is our first date and it's going to be special." His look softened as he glanced down at Kyoko's worried expression. "Hey, don't worry about it. I saved up plenty of money and I made reservations. You said you always wanted to go, right?"

Kyoko nodded with a small smile. "Yeah, but you really don't have to."

"I want to. So just stop worrying and enjoy it." Shizuo told her firmly; Kyoko leaned into him slightly.

They arrived at Kushikoma just as the sun was beginning to set; Kyoko blinked in confusion when Shizuo let go of her arm to hold open the door.

 _"This is going to be perfect."_ Shizuo thought as Kyoko beamed up at him with a pink flush; he was calm and she looked gorgeous. He was going to show her a great time, they would talk and have fun and Kyoko would smile at him. He wanted to show her exactly how much he-

"Hey, move it." A couple passed by Kyoko and the woman shoved into her lightly; she was caught off balance and fell on her backside with a yelp.

"Thank you." The woman said to Shizuo with a tiny smirk as she passed by; she paused at the sound of creaking metal.

"It's rude to push people." Shizuo ground out through clenched teeth; the man pulled his date behind him. They both looked equally terrified as Shizuo raised up the now broken door with one hand effortlessly; glass shards hung from the corners.

"U-uh…" the man stuttered.

"APOLOGIZE DAMMIT!" Shizuo lifted the door with both arms, poised to smash it on someone.

"Shizuo, stop it!" Kyoko wrapped her arms around his waist and tried to tug him away; Shizuo slowly lowered the door, breathing in and out harshly. The couple ran away down the street in a panic.

"Um, sir?" The hostess squeaked; she could hardly believe what she had just seen.

Kyoko smiled at her awkwardly. "Hi...we'll pay for the door…"

An hour later, once the police had left and Shizuo had called his supervisor, their reservations were understandably cancelled.

"I think that went pretty well all things considered." Kyoko shrugged. "You didn't even hit anyone."

Shizuo hands were buried in his pockets; his hair had fallen messily in front of his face and while Kyoko couldn't see it clearly, she knew from his posture he wore an expression of severe disappointment.

 _"I screwed up."_ Shizuo didn't look up as they grabbed their burgers and sodas; they were eating at a fast food chain. A dingy, crowded, crappy burger joint; Kyoko was all smiles, but Shizuo knew she was disappointed.

 _"Why couldn't I just pull it together for one stinking night? Why can't I just-"_

"Shizuo? Are you not having fun?" Kyoko looked at him sadly.

"You're not. I'm sorry Kyoko, I lost it. Again." Shizuo growled; he pushed aside his food. "You got all dressed up and I promised you we'd go, and I fucked up."

"Well, first of all, I don't care where we go. I just wanted to go out with you." Kyoko said quietly; she blushed a bit. "And I didn't get dressed up because we were going to a nice restaurant...I wanted you to think I looked pretty..." she trailed off feeling a bit self conscious.

Shizuo looked up at her. "I don't think you're pretty. I know you are. You shouldn't feel like you need to put in effort for me."

"I still want to." Kyoko shrugged; she giggled and offered him a fry; Shizuo took it in his teeth gently.

 ** _Present:_**

"Oh, oh!" Kyoko hugged his arm. "Remember our first kiss?"

Shizuo frowned sulkily. "I was supposed to be a gentleman..."

 ** _Two years earlier:_**

"I had a great time Shizuo." Kyoko said as he walked her up the apartment steps. Shizuo nodded stiffly.

"Me too. Goodnight." He started to leave.

"Hey, wait a second!" Kyoko exclaimed.

Shizuo turned around with a puzzled frown. "What?"

Kyoko's cheeks flushed in both embarrassment and slight anger at his obliviousness. "Just-" she tugged him to face her all the way; her expression was determined. Shizuo blinked.

"Darn...you're so tall…" Kyoko muttered; she took him by the shoulders. "Go down a couple steps."

"Uh, okay." Shizuo did so until they were staring into each other's eyes at the same level. Kyoko's hands never left his shoulders.

"Um…" Before Shizuo could say anything she leaned in and pecked his cheek.

"I really like you Shizuo." Kyoko said shyly.

He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and declare to the whole city that he loved her; but it wasn't the time, not yet. It was way too soon, and he didn't want to scare her off.

Still, it didn't stop him from kissing her back, his teeth clacking against hers; he forced his hands to remain at his sides. Kyoko took them and carefully placed them around her waist as the kiss escalated.

"S-Shizuo?"

Through hazy eyes Shizuo could see he had backed Kyoko up against the front door.

"Do you want to come inside and sleep over?"

 _"Sleep over? She wants me to spend the night?!"_ Shizuo felt his palms go clammy and his brain buzz. _"What does she-oh shit. Oh shit! I don't have condoms though. Holy shit she wants me to spend the night!"_

"Shizuo, that's not what I meant." Kyoko smiled at his visible panic. "I just want us to, you know, cuddle. If you don't want to-"

"I do!" Shizuo insisted loudly.

Kyoko led him into her apartment and to her room; he placed his jacket over a chair and waited for her to change, blood pumping in his ears.

"Do you need to use the bathroom?" Kyoko asked as she stepped out; she had changed into button down pajamas. There was a dog stitched on the chest pocket. Shizuo shook his head and kept his eyes averted as he stood rigidly in the center of her room; Kyoko smiled kindly and gently tugged him onto the bed beside her.

"I'm not worried about you hurting me or anything."

Shizuo started and cleared his throat; he never craved a cigarette more than he did at that moment. "Kyoko, I gotta be honest, I haven't done anything like this before."

"Me neither, but I think it'll just come to us." Kyoko laid down and patted the spot behind her. "Lay behind me and put your arm around my waist."

Shizuo did so and very, very carefully. "What about my other arm?"

"Mm, try putting it under the pillow. Whatever feels comfy." Kyoko said brightly; she put her hand over the one holding her stomach.

"This feels nice." Shizuo smiled slightly; he could smell her shampoo. _"Is it creepy if I sniff her?"_

Kyoko giggled girlishly. "I'm so happy!" she whispered and turned her face to grin at him. "You know, you're my first kiss."

"Really?" Shizuo asked. "I haven't, but you? How the hell does that happen?"

"It's not that big a deal." Kyoko grumbled. "I just never really had time for dating. Until I met you, there really wasn't any guy I was that interested in. You're just so cute."

Shizuo's face burned. "Hey. Can I kiss you again?"

Kyoko turned around to face him. "Mhm."

 _"She tastes like-aw, who gives a shit?"_ Shizuo moaned softly as Kyoko pressed her body into his; before he knew it, his hands were rubbing her waist, fingers trailing under the hem of her shirt. Kyoko pulled away, her fingers threaded into his hair.

"Let's stop here okay?"

Shizuo nodded, snuggling into her with a dazed smile. "Okay babe."

"Babe?" Kyoko cocked her head to the side questioningly.

"Uh, sorry."

"No, I like it." Kyoko kissed his cheek. "I really do like you." She settled down and snuggled into his chest. "Goodnight Shizuo."

"Night babe." Shizuo said softly.

 ** _Present:_**

"I can't believe you woke up hard!" Kyoko laughed hysterically at the memory; Shizuo's arms were crossed over his chest.

"Dammit, I told you it just gets like that in the morning sometimes."

"Sorry, sorry." Kyoko amended quickly; she hugged Shizuo tightly. "Best date ever."

Shizuo could feel his irritation melt away. "Yeah. I still wanna stay in."

Kyoko clung on tight as Shizuo lifted her up in his arms bridal style; he nonchalantly walked to their room.

"Nap time now." Shizuo said tiredly. "I'll take you to Russia Sushi later, okay babe?"

"Alright." Kyoko conceded as Shizuo pulled her close under the covers.

In the end, as long as they were together, she was more than happy.


	43. Public Displays of Rage

As a child and an adult, Shizuo wasn't familiar with the touch of another person; as loving as his family was, he kept his distance so as not to hurt them. The only regular human contact he had was pats on the shoulder from Tom and every now and then he couldn't help himself and petted Vorona's head with a proud smile. These touches weren't what he craved though; they were nice, but fleeting. Everything changed when Kyoko started dating him.

Hugs, hand holding, cuddling, kisses, and so much more; Shizuo could hardly contain himself, though when it first started he was extremely careful. He needed to practice holding Kyoko's hand and holding her, because with enough force he knew he'd crush her. Every touch was almost painstakingly slow and hesitant for the first few months.

Kyoko was patient and more than happy to indulge him; she thought it was the most adorable thing when he'd sneak little pecks like a kid would sneak an extra cookie, when he'd lie down next to her and test the different pressures he could hold her hand with until she was comfortable, and even when he'd take forever to just wrap his arms around her waist when she snuggled next to him on the couch.

Regardless of how much Shizuo enjoyed affection, he was still uncomfortable at the idea of PDA; even holding hands was too much, and he kept a little distance between them as they walked. Kyoko was a bit disappointed, but she knew Shizuo would shower her with attention once they got home, so she dealt with it.

 _"Still, I wish we could at least hold hands."_ Kyoko glanced a bit longingly at Shizuo's hand that hung limply at his side; it was so close, but she knew if she tried to grab it he'd get embarrassed and pull away. Then he'd feel guilty, and then she'd feel guilty for pushing the issue, and-

 _"Ugh, it'd just be a huge mess."_ Kyoko sighed softly; Shizuo looked over at her.

"You okay?"

Kyoko smiled. "Yep!"

Shizuo smiled back slightly before staring straight ahead. "We're almost there."

Kyoko nodded with a grin. _"In the end I'm just happy to spend time with him. I hope that stand is still there. Maybe Shizuo will buy me a fudge bar, just like the first time!"_

After all, she didn't need Shizuo to hold her hand in public to prove they were together.

Well, she didn't.

"Wait here and save our seat, I'll get the ice cream." Shizuo told her before leaving Kyoko on the bench; she smiled and studied the park. It brought back so many good memories…

"Hi, how are you?"

Kyoko jumped slightly; she didn't even notice a man sitting next to her.

 _"Uh oh."_ Kyoko thought anxiously. _"If Shizuo sees him…"_

"Hello." she tried to sound pleasant. "I'm doing fine."

The man smiled. "That's wonderful to hear. I'm kind of surprised."

"By what?" Kyoko blinked; was he just trying to make conversation?

"That you're here alone; it's unacceptable to see such a cute girl all by herself on a lovely day. My name is Chikage Rokujo; would you allow me to be your escort for the time being?" Chikage smiled; he gently took one of her hands and drew a bit nearer.

"Oh, um…" Kyoko wasn't sure how to tell him to leave without scaring him. "Well, you see Rokujo-san-"

"Please, call me Rocchi."

"Rocchi? Okay, well, you seem very nice, but-"

"Kyoko?" Shizuo blinked; he held ice cream in both of his hands. They were crushed.

"Shizuo? Oh, hey man!" Chikage greeted. "It's nice to run into you, but I'm a bit busy at the moment. I was just about to ask this cute honey if she'd like to-"

Chikage's words were interrupted as he felt a cold wetness smash onto his face.

"Shizuo!" Kyoko exclaimed; she pulled out her handkerchief and handed it to Chikage. "I'm sorry Rocchi-san, I was just trying to tell you-"

"What the hell Shizuo?" Chikage glared as he wiped off the ice cream as best as he could. "Are you still pissed about that fight? I thought we settled that like two reasonable men."

Shizuo's nostrils flared, his fists violently shaking from containing the urge to smash his fist into someone's face. "Not for you."

Chikage blinked. "Huh?"

"She's my fiance." Shizuo ground out; he lifted Chikage up by his collar and deposited him on the ground. He planted himself on the seat next to Kyoko with a grunt; she was trapped as he draped an arm around her. "Get lost. The only reason I haven't kicked your pervert ass across town is cause we're on a date. Leave before I do something we'll both regret."

Chikage picked himself up and dusted off his jacket with a chuckle.

"Okay, I got you. Kyoko was it?"

Kyoko nodded with an awkward smile as Shizuo made a growling sound in his throat. "Sorry, I was going to tell you I was waiting for my boyfriend."

"Hey, I'd never steal a girl away from a guy who makes her happy." Chikage raised his hands in surrender. "Shizuo's a pretty stand up guy. Didn't know he had such a cute girlfriend."

"You don't need to fucking know." Shizuo wrapped his arm tighter around Kyoko.

"Ow! Shizuo, loosen it up a bit." Kyoko laughed sheepishly. A flicker of guilt went through Shizuo's gaze before they hardened to steel; Chikage was eyeing him somberly.

"I'd never hurt her on purpose, so wipe that look off your fucking face before I smash it in again." Shizuo told him evenly; he turned to Kyoko. "Uh, sorry about the ice cream. I'll get you another."

"Eh, don't worry about it." Kyoko smiled reassuringly.

"Well, I can see I'm interrupting something. Later Kyoko-chan, Shizuo." Chikage waved grandly before making his exit; Shizuo didn't stop glaring until he was completely out of sight.

"It was a mistake Shizuo, he thought I was single." Kyoko gently pried off Shizuo's arm. "Let's just enjoy our date okay?"

"Hey what do you think you're doing?!" Shizuo snatched Kyoko's hand back.

"Rocchi-san's gone, you don't have to hold me anymore." Kyoko smiled; Shizuo immediately picked up on the hint of disappointment in her voice.

"Rocchi?!"

"He told me to call him that." Kyoko said defensively.

"You shouldn't, it'll give him the wrong idea." Shizuo grumbled with his arms crossed. "Where the fucks my nickname?"

"It's up your ass." Kyoko seethed.

Shizuo's anger gave way to surprise. "What's up with you?"

"I'm fine that you're not big on PDA." Kyoko said. "But it's bullshit to do it just to make a statement to other guys that I'm your property."

"Babe…" Shizuo took her hand gently. "I didn't mean it that way. You're my fiance, and it pissed me off seeing that pervert hitting on you. You know that's not the only reason."

"I know." Kyoko sighed; she pulled away and stood up. "Let's just go home okay?"

"You didn't get your ice cream." Shizuo said quietly.

"It's fine, I just wanna go home."

Shizuo stared up at her as Kyoko waited for him to get up.

"Shizuo, come on."

He didn't move; Kyoko sighed and shrugged her shoulders before walking away.

"No." Shizuo pulled her back down onto his lap with minimal effort; Kyoko fell into his chest with a thump.

"Shizuo! I mean it-"

"I'll show you." Shizuo whispered. "I'm crazy about you Kyoko."

Shizuo put his hand to the back of her head, molding their lips together. Kyoko's hands pushed lightly against his chest, but Shizuo didn't budge; he ran his tongue over her lips pleadingly, pulling away slightly to nibble on her bottom lip. Kyoko felt her resolve fade as Shizuo carefully traced his tongue against her teeth and she wrapped her arms around his neck; she moaned softly as his hands cupped her face. They apart after a minute; Shizuo grinned at her shyly.

"I'm sorry babe. Wanna hold hands on the way home?"

Kyoko nodded.

"And when we get back, I'm gonna show you what I really wanted to do to you earlier." Shizuo chuckled. "I'll show you-wait."

Kyoko looked at him curiously. "What's wrong?"

"That fucking bastard!" Shizuo picked Kyoko up with him as he ran furiously toward where Chikage was headed. "He has your handkerchief, goddamn pervert!"

Kyoko rolled her eyes; at least he was holding her.


	44. Routine

"So...pissed...off!"

Tom looked over at Shizuo from the corner of his eye as he walked (stomped) next to him; after all the years he had know him, Tom could tell pretty easily when his junior was angry.

Well, everyone within three feet could tell actually.

"Sorry!" Tom told a man who had the misfortune of carelessly bumping into Shizuo as he rushed down the sidewalk; the man was rewarded with a death glare, which meant he was getting off easy compared to the kid who tried to sneak off with the money they owed an hour before.

"Shizuo, try to calm down will ya?" Tom sighed. "It's not even noon and you're ready to kill someone."

"Sorry Tom." Shizuo grumbled apologetically; the angry frown wasn't going anywhere though.

It had been the shittiest morning. He had woken up late, Kyoko had left early without giving him a kiss, he forgot the lunch she packed him in the fridge, and every person they collected money from that day didn't seem to get the memo he wasn't a guy they could mess with.

"Look, let's stop for lunch now, okay?" Tom offered. "You'll feel better once you've eaten something. What'd Kyoko pack you today?"

Tom backed away slightly as Shizuo's face darkened considerably.

"Uh, is everything okay?"

"I forgot it at home."

"Your lunch?" Tom asked warily; Shizuo nodded, suddenly looking very much like a kid who just got told he wasn't allowed to have any dessert before dinner. "Hey, don't worry, I'll treat you to something."

"Thanks Tom." Shizuo smiled slightly; at least he could count on his senpai to help him. They went and bought pre-made lunches from the convenience store; they weren't as good as Kyoko's but they would do.

 _"Beggars can't be choosers, and I'm starving."_ Shizuo walked next to Tom as they searched for someplace to sit down in the park.

"Watch it!" A teenager yelled as he ran after his friends; he went right past Shizuo, he had knocked the lunch from his hand, sending it contents onto the dirty pavement.

"What an idiot." Tom sighed; before he could say anything else, Shizuo had already caught up the the kid and had grabbed him, by the collar and thrown him down onto the ground. Tom thought it was poetic justice and was surprised Shizuo was able to think enough to do it in his blind rage.

Currently, Shizuo was close to smashing something or someone as people stared at him in fear. They all had the wrong idea, he really didn't want to beat up that kid; couldn't anyone see that?!

 _"I can't wait for this day to be fucking over!"_ Shizuo seethed inwardly; he would never request to leave early, but at this rate he wasn't sure how long he could go without tearing another bum's head off. _"At least we only have one more job left….I'm hungry and tired and I just want to go home and be left in fucking peace…..I wish Kyoko was here."_

That was the one thing that could make this day better, but he hadn't even heard from her all day. Shizuo figured she was swamped at work; Kyoko got most of her clients on Saturdays after all, but it didn't mean he wasn't a bit disappointed she hadn't even told him goodbye before she left for work.

These were the thoughts stewing in his head as Tom tried to reason with their last client; it was a woman who was two weeks late on the payment. Shizuo wouldn't raise a hand to her and Tom figured he'd give her the chance to pay them the rest of the money that day, but she was trying to talk them out of it.

"Come on, just one more week, I promise I'll have it." she said sweetly; she glanced over at Shizuo, still engrossed in his own thoughts. _"Wow, he's pretty good looking. Hm…"_

"Hey Mr. Bartender." she walked over to Shizuo with a coy smile. "How about I pay off this little debt another way, huh?"

Shizuo knew enough to get what she was trying to offer; he sighed heavily, trying to contain his annoyance. "We just want the money lady. Besides, I'm engaged."

"I don't see a ring." The woman took his left hand in her hands with a bell like laugh. "Do you know how many men have said that to me and then spent the night that same day?"

Shizuo narrowed his eyes at her; she was honestly beautiful, but her smile lacked any sincerity, her eyes were calculating, and her whole attitude screamed careless. Single or not, he would never want someone like her.

 _"Kyoko...why can't you be here now?"_ Shizuo wondered ruefully as the woman kept trying to coerce him; Tom just stood there, hands massaging his temples. _"Dammit, this lady won't shut up…"_

The woman noticed his disinterest and frowned. _"Don't tell me this guy's seriously turning down free sex cause he's engaged? Damn, I need to pull out the big guns."_

"Please Mr. Bartender?" she was suddenly leaning her chest up against his front, her arms wrapped around his neck; her voice was pleading and dripping with seduction. He got the impression someone like her usually had no problem with this tactic. "I just want to pay back my debt; don't tell me you haven't taken alternative offers like this before, a sexy looking guy like you?"

"I'm engaged."

Tom cringed at the firmness of Shizuo's words; he could see that his employee was desperately trying not to lose it, trying to let this woman off easy. The last thing Shizuo would ever do was hit a woman, but this lady was really pushing it.

"Please." she rolled her eyes; honestly, she was starting to feel her pride sting at his firm rejection. "Where is your little fiance? I don't see her anywhere."

 _"Shut up."_ Tom prayed to whatever merciful god was listening.

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her." the woman said, her face drawing a bit closer to Shizuo's; she somehow failed to notice his glare in her determination. It was possible she was taking the fact that he hadn't actually pushed her off as encouragement. "I could show you the best time of your life. Your fiance? I bet she ain't even that good in bed." she purred.

The woman yelped as Shizuo pushed her away; she landed against the wall, her back probably bruised, but he couldn't find it in him to care.

"Don't talk about her that way. It's disgusting." Shizuo's breathing was harsh, his fists shaking; he hated this whole day and now some bitch was making a joke out of his relationship, out of his woman, out of Kyoko. "I don't want to hurt anyone, especially not a some lady I just met. I hate violence, but if anyone says a bad thing about my woman I swear to fucking god-"

"Oh wow."

Shizuo and Tom were taken back by the woman's chuckle; instead of crying or screaming curses, she faced them with a wry smile as she picked herself up.

"You're definitely not who I thought you were." she went over to her dresser; after a second she pulled out a clip of money and took out what she owed. She handed it to Shizuo.

"Whoever your girl is, she's lucky." the woman scoffed. "I sure as hell never had a guy stand up for me like that."

Tom chuckled in relief. "You seem pretty tough yourself lady."

She shrugged and turned back to Shizuo. "I'm curious; what's this fiance of yours like anyhow?"

Shizuo took the money and handed it to Tom; he was still frowning. "First of all, I'm the one who got lucky."

The woman raised her eyebrow, but kept silent; Tom looked torn between confusion and mild amusement.

"Is she anything like you?" the woman asked curiously; Shizuo actually laughed quite loudly.

"No way. She's…" Shizuo thought for a moment. "She's real nice; too nice, but she's no pushover either. She's a vet, really smart, hardworking. I guess she's just a normal girl you'd see anywhere else."

The woman smiled a bit at the Shizuo's softened expression. "She sounds like a nice girl. I'm surprised."

"Huh?" Tom asked; the woman laughed lightly.

"I recognize you now. Don't know how I forgot." The woman explained. "The famous bartender; there's a lot of talk about you, and a rumor you got a girl." the woman shrugged. "I guess I pictured her as a femme fatale type, ya know? Not girl-next-door."

Shizuo grimaced at the thought of Kyoko dressed like one of the women in Kasuka's action movies, wielding a sword or a gun and wearing a snug leather spy suit; well, the skin tight suit wasn't completely objectionable…

"Hey, Shizuo?" Tom asked as they left the woman's apartment. "You kinda scared me back there. I didn't think you'd actually push her; try to reign it in, alright?"

"Yeah, I know." Shizuo sighed and scratched his neck. "This whole day's been buggin' me; it's like everything seems off."

"Go home and get some rest." Tom said reassuringly. "Thanks for your hard work."

"Hey Shizuo." Kyoko yawned; she was still wearing her uniform, hair a bit askew and her eyes strained. "I'm so tired! How was your day?"

"Okay." Shizuo was lying on their bed; Kyoko noticed all the lights were off.

"Ah, I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" she asked as she changed into pajamas; Shizuo turned over to watch her.

"No. Come here." he lifted up the sheets; Kyoko smiled and settled in, ready to take a long deserved nap. She wasn't prepared for Shizuo to pin her to the bed and kiss her longingly.

Kyoko giggled as he snuggled into her side. "Did you miss me that much?"

"Yeah…" Shizuo said lowly. "You didn't kiss me goodbye this morning."

"I'm sorry, I just thought you'd like to sleep in." Kyoko explained. "It did feel funny going to work without it though...it was weird, like my whole day was just thrown off…"

Shizuo's eyes flew open. "Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing. Just that I love you, you know?"

Kyoko smiled, wondering what had brought on this 'sudden epiphany'.

"Love you too." she kissed his lips chastely, just like how she did every morning.

"Hey babe?"

"Yeah?" Kyoko laid her head in the crook of his neck, feeling oddly at peace for the first time all day.

"What do you think of leather?"


	45. Just Married

**Author's Note: Sexual content and strong themes! There's a twist!**

The first thing Shizuo noticed that morning was his hangover and that he was stark naked in an unfamiliar bed; his head throbbed slightly as he pried open his eyes. It took him a second to recall where he was.

 _"It's the hotel room."_ Shizuo thought drowsily. _"We went here after…"_

He stared up at the ceiling with wide eyes. _"Kyoko and me...are married. Holy shit."_

They went to the municipal office in Ikebukuro and signed the documents; they had a small party with their friends and family in their apartment. He remembered feeling bad that Celty and Shinra were already on their trip and Vorona couldn't leave Russia in time to attend either.

Still, it was a nice party with the people who cared about them. Shizuo had never been so happy; he had drank a little bit too much apparently, because he was having a hard time remembering what had happened after he and Kyoko checked into the luxury hotel suite his parents had treated them to as a special gift. It was their weekend getaway, but for the life of him Shizuo couldn't even remember checking in.

He glanced down at Kyoko lying beside him, the soft cotton sheets drawn up almost to her chin, her head nestled in the fluffy pillows; Shizuo laid back down and tried to ignore the slight nausea in his stomach and smiled wearily at his now wife.

 _"Huh?"_ Shizuo looked curiously at the dark circle appearing just under the sheets hem. _"What the…?"_ Shizuo carefully pulled away the sheets, his eyes growing wide as they slid off completely; the nausea spiked up and he ran to the bathroom, bent over and retching loudly as he vomited. When he returned to the room, Kyoko was still sleeping peacefully.

 _"Everywhere…"_ Shizuo kneeled on the floor beside the bed, his heart hammering in his chest; he had never felt so repulsed. _"They're everywhere."_

Bruises in the shape of hands, large and encircling her wrists and ankles, bite marks where the teeth indents were nearly black, littering her shoulder, her chest, her back. Her backside was bruised almost completely, a light shade of purple and red. She looked as if she had been raped and left for dead.

 _"No."_ Shizuo clenched his fists and his teeth, trying to control his shaking. _"I was drunk, I wouldn't ever, this isn't."_ he pressed his hands to his eyes, trying to will away what he had just seen.

He remembered the day he had promised Kyoko he would be gentle on their wedding night. How betrayed must she have felt when he broke his promise, how scared she must have been as he forced her down and-

Shizuo couldn't hold it in; he felt a burning in his throat as he threw up on the carpet. He heaved as his stomach was emptied out, struggled to breath normally as he found himself on the verge of hyperventilating.

 _"Our wedding night...I ruined it. I violated her, I-"_ he bit the inside of his cheek, anger and fear swelling in his chest; the nausea in his stomach was replaced by a cold stone.

Kyoko would never forgive him for this; they wouldn't even be married one day before they were divorced. She might even just run away, leaving him without a word, screaming and crying in fear as she escaped.

 _"Kyoko."_ Shizuo crawled next to her on the bed; she looked so pretty, even with the bruises. His best friend, his woman, his wife. _"Did I even use protection?"_ The sudden thought pierced him with anxiety. _"What if she's pregnant? No, goddammit, no, not like this!"_

He curled up next to Kyoko, being careful not to touch her, not to do more damage, tried hard to remember if they had used a condom, if she was on her birth control still, but he could barely think. All he could see was the discoloration on her skin, the wounds covering her, marking her as defiled.

 _"No, she's not dirty! I hurt her, it's my fault. I fucked up everything."_ Shizuo bit his lip; the night was supposed to be special, he was supposed to take care of her, treat her like a princess, make love to her; not force himself on her and use her like she was some whore. Shizuo was aching to touch her, to wake her up, but also terrified to face the reality of what he had done. _"Is she even sleeping? I don't think she's moving."_ he quickly leaned forward to listen to her breathing. " _I don't hear anything!"_

Shizuo felt panic sharpen his senses; he reached and nudged Kyoko's shoulder, trying to find a spot where his fingerprints weren't burned into her. "Kyoko? Kyoko wake up."

Nothing, not a sound.

"Kyoko wake up!" Shizuo shook her a tiny bit harder, still terrified to cause more harm, but even more terrified that she wasn't waking up.

After a second, Kyoko's eyes opened slightly, her gaze trained on Shizuo's face. She seemed to be barely conscious.

"Shizuo?"

"Kyoko…" Shizuo whispered; he made himself look her in the eye. "Kyoko, I- I-"

"Shizuo?" Kyoko looked wide awake at his expression, the slight trembling in his voice. "What's wrong?!"

"Don't sit there and act like everything's fine!" Shizuo practically yelled. "Kyoko, please, listen to me." he cupped her hands in his gently as he could. "I was drunk, I-I, you have to believe me!"

Kyoko sat up slowly, mindful of the soreness in her body. "S-Shizuo-"

"Forgive me!" Shizuo glared down at the sheets, his head hung in shame, his fists dying to punch something, to destroy something, mainly himself. Why did it have to be like this, when he finally found his happiness, when he finally found someone? If only he wasn't like this, if only he wasn't a monster. As usual, there was no one else to blame but himself.

"Hit me."

Kyoko stared. "What?" she whispered; Shizuo bowed his head, body going limp.

"Go ahead, it's only fair." Shizuo said quietly. "Or we can go to the police. I can turn myself in after we go to the hospital, just..." his voice broke slightly, his self deprecating smile fading as he tried to keep from losing it. "Don't leave me. I know it's selfish, but I can't do it anymore." he stared down at his hands; they had ruined so many things and now they were going to take yet another thing away from him. "I can't stand it, being alone. I hate it, I'd rather rot in prison than be without you!"

Shizuo looked up at her pleadingly, wishing he could stop the way she looked so sad, looked so pained. It was tearing him up from the inside out. "I swear, I'll be a good husband from now on, I'll never touch you again if that's what you want. I don't want to get a divorce, we can go to marriage counseling, I'll never drink ever again, just don't-"

Kyoko slapped him across the cheek; it didn't hurt in the slightest, but it made Shizuo stop. He gripped his hair in frustration, trying to hold in the tears slipping out from the corners of his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop assuming things dammit." Kyoko ordered; she scooted up and took his hands in hers gingerly. "The only part you got right was you did drink a lot."

Shizuo stared at her, a glimpse of hope crossing his eyes. "What? You mean, I didn't...?"

"No." Kyoko said firmly. "You were drunk and you got pretty rough, but I still wanted to do it. I don't think you were really holding back anything."

"That's just as bad. Look at you." Shizuo said roughly; the disgust he felt at himself didn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. "Look what I did. You looked like you were attacked! Shit, did I spank you?!" he glanced at her bruised ass with a grimace. "How much did I drink?"

Kyoko wrapped her arms around his neck with a smile. "I liked it."

Shizuo's mind drew a blank as she kissed him slowly; he gently pulled her away. "What?"

"It was good!" Kyoko's smile was so innocent, so bright, Shizuo could hardly believe what she was saying. She was acting like he had given her a sample of a new ice cream, not sex that could easily be considered rape if it hadn't been consensual.

Shizuo's face was numb. "You're fucking crazy."

Kyoko shrugged self consciously. "I like what I like. Is it a problem for you?"

"No!" Shizuo tugged her close to him. "It's just...this is kind of shocking for me."

"Shizuo, are you sure you're not having second thoughts?" It was the first time Kyoko looked really concerned; Shizuo felt his heart crack in two.

"No babe." he smiled and stroked her hair; he loved her so much. Who gave a shit what if her kinks were a bit extreme? She wasn't going to leave, that's all that mattered; if anything, it was just more proof they belonged together.

"I like them." Kyoko leaned into his chest almost shyly; she once again looked like the normal young woman Shizuo knew. Her words were laced with a twisted sweetness. "Whenever you leave marks by accident, I get turned on when I look at them later. It reminds me of what you did to me...I love you. I'm not sure why I like the pain so much, but I hope this doesn't change things between us."

Before she could say another word, Shizuo lifted her off of the bed; he carried her to the edge and set her down gently. Kyoko stared wide eyed as he kneeled in front of her, the rising sun just peeking in through the half open blinds.

"Shizuo?"

"Kyoko, you still don't get it." Shizuo chuckled lightly. "God, how the hell do you not see it?"

He took her foot in his hand, his expression tranquil. Kyoko felt her face grow warm as he kissed the tip of her big toe.

"I didn't want to hurt you our first time as man and wife." Shizuo sighed in disappointment. "This is still our first day though, so maybe I can still treat you the way I planned." his gaze was pious. "I'll be so gentle, you won't feel any pain this time. Let me?"

Kyoko was speechless; she nodded and Shizuo trailed butterfly kisses up her legs, all the way to the curve of her hip.

"Dammit I worship you." Shizuo cursed lowly. "You could ask me for anything, but all you want is for me to love you. The hell's up with that?"

Kyoko moaned softly as he soothed his tongue over every mark, every wound he had inflicted due to his selfish lust; he lowered her to the bed, making sure her head was rested comfortably on the pillow. Shizuo slid one of his fingers into her; she was still wet from the other night. He shivered at the thought of his cum still inside of her, thinking of the way it would leak out of her abused hole after they were done.

"They look good on you." Shizuo said; he had to admit, there was something about the bite marks that made his dick twitch.

Kyoko smiled up at him almost bashfully. "Shizuo," she arched her back, nipples hardened from the slight chill in the room. She was offering them up to him. "Touch me."

Shizuo licked the nubs, flicking his tongue over each one until they were shiny from his treatment; they were red and chaffed from the other night, but he couldn't stop himself from playing with them as gingerly as he could.

"They're so cute." Shizuo kissed one sweetly. "Can I finger you? Are you too sore?"

"No." Kyoko shook her head. "I'm never too sore for you."

Shizuo lightly traced his finger around her opening, rubbing her clit until she was slick and ready for penetration. One of his fingers slipped in so easily, he was able to fit the other two within seconds.

"Kyoko, can I go inside now?" Shizuo rubbed his erection on her thigh, practically rutting against her in desperation. "I'll make it good."

"It always feels good." Kyoko ran her hands through his messy hair and leaned up to nibble his earlobe. "I want you to take me...my husband."

Shizuo held her close, rubbing his hands tenderly up and down her sore back. "Whatever my wife wants." he kissed her neck, smoothing his tongue over his bite marks, loving the way Kyoko's leaned into his touch so trustingly. He would do anything to protect that trust. "I'm a lucky guy to have such a gorgeous wife all to myself."

Kyoko couldn't help blush at his soft growling tone. _"He's being so sentimental today."_ she whined as he slowly inched his aching dick inside her; he looked at her a bit concerned.

"Does it hurt?"

Kyoko shook her head, her eyes closed tightly. "Just a bit. I need to get used to it that's all."

"My poor wife." Shizuo nuzzled her neck, rubbing her left nipple with the pad of his thumb. "Kyoko Heiwajima. That sounds so nice."

"Shizuo!" Kyoko cried out as he thrusted into her even deeper; she loved the feeling of being stretched out by him, loved the slight burn and the way he stared down at her face fixedly as he moved. "Harder. I want it harder!"

"No." Shizuo told her firmly. "Not yet. I'm going to make love to you properly." he cupped her ass. "Did I really spank you?"

"Yeah." Kyoko couldn't help giggle a bit. "You told me I was a 'bad girl who needed to be punished' for making you wait so long to marry me."

Kyoko kissed him as he looked away in shame. "It really turned me on." she traced a finger over his lips contemplatively. "As long as it's you, it's okay."

Shizuo nodded in acceptance. "Still, I wanna go slow this time, alright?" he grasped her hips delicately, gasping as she clenched around him. "It's so fucking hot, all soft and soaking wet; after all the times I've done this to you, you'd think you wouldn't be so tight!"

Kyoko bucked up as Shizuo moaned into her neck; she clung to him, pressing kisses to his broad shoulders; he was practically encasing her in his own body, his arms wrapped around her. She felt so full inside, Shizuo molding their hips together, determined to feel every inch of her pressed into him. It was like he was trying to make them literally become one in their union.

"You want to come? I'll make you come." Shizuo mumbled through his haze of pleasure; he moved a bit faster, alternately licking her swollen nipples. "I'll take good care of my wife. You'll never leave my side."

"I never want to leave you silly. I need you Shizuo. Ah, ah! Oh god, Shizuo!" Kyoko breathed as she came; his mouth was sucking her nipples, his shaft rubbing against her clit with every thrust just the way she liked.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Shizuo groaned as he felt her drip onto him, his back and arms tensing from restraint. "I'm so close, I'm gonna come inside you, gonna make my wife...my wife..." Shizuo stared down at her for a moment before giving her a messy kiss, sloppy and clumsy. It was almost like the first time all over again.

"Kyoko, Kyoko!" Shizuo bit down on her neck one last time as he came inside her; he pulled out slightly and his cum coated her folds like icing. Shizuo pushed back in abruptly, making Kyoko squeal.

"Sorry." Shizuo said shortly; he buried his face in her shoulder, breathing harshly. "Can I stay inside for a bit longer?"

"Okay." Kyoko held him and began stroking his back with a tired smile; he could go from wild to melancholy to cute in such a short time. In some ways he was a lot like a little kid, still sorting out his emotions.

"It's so warm inside." Shizuo yawned a bit, smiling in contentment. "You're always so warm…I love you."

"Let's get some sleep, okay?" Kyoko whispered. "I love you too," she grinned. "My husband."

Shizuo held her closer. "Damn straight."


	46. Expectations and Expecting

Despite how important being officially married was for Shizuo, he really wasn't expecting any major changes in their relationship; he didn't expect them to suddenly be attached to the hip or be any especially closer than they already were.

He was right in that assumption; Kyoko and he spent their days doing what they usually did. They went to work, went shopping for groceries, watched movies, and just talked like normal. If it wasn't for one inconspicuous detail, Shizuo would've been able to say their married life was nothing short of comfortable and secure.

It started maybe two weeks after they had been legally wed. They were back in their normal routine, and after Shizuo came back from work one night he wanted to have sex. In the middle of kissing, Kyoko had told him she was too tired; Shizuo settled for cuddling her as they fell asleep, wrapped in each others arms.

It actually wasn't the first time one of them wasn't in the mood, so it wasn't until it had been consistently happening for two weeks straight Shizuo began feeling worried. Every time was a new excuse, an apologetic expression, shrugging off his hands and arms. Every time he felt something crumble inside him.

 _"Don't be stupid."_ he told himself firmly as Kyoko shrugged off another attempt at intimacy. _"She's just been tired lately, it's no big deal. We're fine."_

To cheer himself up, Shizuo ate an ice cream. The next time it happened he treated himself to his favorite cake, adamantly telling himself everything was just fine with their relationship.

The next time it happened, Shizuo got himself candy. The next time, more cake. The next time, doughnuts. The next time, he bought a ten package box of pocky. Then Shizuo would buy snacks just whenever; during work, before going home, before going to sleep; Shizuo's mouth was constantly moving, but he was even quieter than usual.

By the end of two months, Kyoko was beginning to become seriously puzzled by the growing decrease of food in the refrigerator. It seemed every time she came back from work, Shizuo was eating. Eating left overs, eating snacks, eating pretty much anything he could get his hands on it seemed.

"Hey Shizuo, you've been taking the lunches I make, right?"

Shizuo swallowed a mouthful of chips. "Yeah babe."

"Oh." Kyoko said uncertainly; she wasn't sure what else to say. Shizuo stared at her curiously as he crumpled up the empty chip bag and threw it with the small pile compiling on the coffee table.

"Why do you ask?"

Kyoko smiled lightly. "Just making sure my husband is getting enough to eat."

Shizuo smiled. "Don't worry, they're just fine."

"Okay." she started to leave; Shizuo's eyes widened slightly.

"Hey Kyoko," Shizuo turned around on the couch to look at her eagerly; maybe this time would be different, she seemed in a good mood. "If you're not too tired, how about tonight we-"

Kyoko smiled apologetically; his own faltered a bit, already knowing what was coming.

"Sorry Shizuo, I got a bit of a headache. I'm gonna take a nap."

Shizuo nodded. "No problem, you should get some rest."

Kyoko kissed the top of his head and made her way to their bedroom. "I made dinner already, so just help yourself if you're hungry, okay?"

"Thanks, night." Shizuo slumped against the couch and sighed. After a few seconds, he scooped up the wrappers and threw them out in the kitchen.

The next morning, Kyoko gawked at the empty pot on the stove, scraped clean of the stew; she checked the refrigerator and noticed that there were no containers filled with leftovers. The whole meal was simply gone.

 _"Well, Shizuo works really hard. He's probably just extra hungry, especially with his body using up so much energy."_ Kyoko thought as she made her way to the clinic; Shizuo was still fast asleep in bed, having the weekend off.

Tom had given him the weekend off; he noticed that Shizuo was looking more stressed than disgruntled lately, and he figured he deserved a break for all his hard work. He didn't bother to ask about the extra snacks he seemed to be munching on during their breaks and even after he had finished the extra large bento box Kyoko had fixed him; but Shizuo could tell he noticed.

In all honesty, though he was grateful for Tom's generosity, Shizuo could've used the distraction of work to keep him from coming up with crazy reasons why Kyoko wasn't willing to sleep with him.

Shizuo threw an arm over his eyes in frustration. "Dammit, quit being so suspicious. She's just tired, she works hard. Stop being selfish."

Besides, it's not like Kyoko was acting cold or mean or even distant; she was shying away from physical attention, but that didn't mean she didn't love him or she didn't want him anymore. What's more, everyone needed to stop bugging him about his eating habits!

 _"So what if I'm eating a bit more than usual?"_ Shizuo thought as he made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth. _"It's been a shitty time lately, I'm just treating myself. There's nothing wrong….with that…"_

He paused noticing his shirt stretching over his stomach.

There really wasn't anything strange about that either; Shizuo was taller than average and it was a bit hard sometimes to find shirts (aside from the clothes Kasuka had given him, specially ordered to fit him) that didn't expose too much of his stomach or pants that didn't end too high over his ankle. Even the shirts that were too small for him would be three sizes too large for Kyoko to wear.

But this time, the shirts weren't stretching because of his long limbs or torso; Shizuo's t shirt was stretching over the skin of his stomach. He looked closely at himself in the mirror and pulled up the hem of his shirt slowly; there was a slight pouch that hadn't been there before.

 _"Is that why?"_ Shizuo stared and pinched the roll; it wasn't big by any means, but he knew what his usual weight was and to him it stood out clear as day. _"Is this why Kyoko won't…?"_

Shizuo scowled at his reflection and yanked his shirt back down; it was no wonder...she must have thought he was so disgusting, stuffing his face every chance he got like a pig.

"It's time to be a man and stop pussyfooting around." Shizuo growled; he had to stop pitying himself and actually do something.

The whole day he prepared for Kyoko's arrival from work; the house was cleaned, the bed was made and he had gone out earlier that day and bought plenty of condoms and even a few morning after pills.

"Hey." Kyoko called out wearily as she slipped off her work shoes; it had been a long day. _"What am I going to do? I need to know soon. And Shizuo's been acting so oddly lately..."_

"Welcome home babe." Shizuo walked out of the living room and greeted her with open arms; Kyoko looked up at him with surprise as she was pulled close into his chest.

"Shizuo?" Kyoko asked looking him over with wide eyes; he was wearing a black shirt and jeans, the shirt was unbuttoned almost halfway. _"I forgot he even owned other clothes..."_

"I missed you today." Shizuo's voice was huskier than Kyoko had ever heard it. She gasped lightly as his hands gripped her waist and massaged her hips as he pulled her in for a kiss, teasing Kyoko's bottom lip with his teeth just like how he looked up online. Her reaction was just what he wanted; she gasped softly and her hands clung to his shoulders.

Without further ado, Shizuo carried her to their bedroom with a smirk; Kyoko was looking at him as if she had never seen him before. She squeaked in surprise as Shizuo threw her on the bed and climbed on top of her with a feral growl.

"Missed you real bad." he attacked her neck with open mouthed kisses, sucking and nipping, holding her arms above her head. He knew she loved it when he was aggressive in bed; Kyoko writhed under him, her hips pushing up in want, brushing against his growing erection tantalizingly.

Shizuo let her go and slowly unbuttoned his shirt, staring her in the eyes with unrestrained lust; it had been so long, and she looked so good with her innocent wide eyed stare, her soft hair fanning out around the pillows, her body begging for his touch-

"Shizuo, I'm really tired." Kyoko blurted out; Shizuo's shirt was halfway down his arms when she wriggled out from under him and perched on the edge of the bed. He stared at her blankly, but she wouldn't look at him. "Not tonight, okay?"

Shizuo sat there on top of the sheets; he was struck with the immediate urge to cover himself.

"Dammit Kyoko...don't lie to me."

Kyoko stood up rigidly and didn't say a word.

"It's because I've been eating so much isn't it?" Shizuo ground out; he knew from the first day it wasn't healthy, he knew it wasn't right to eat to distract himself from his concerns over his relationship, but he couldn't stop. The bad habit had taken a hold before he even realized it, but even when he did, he couldn't stop.

Besides, the sweet pastries always reminded him of her; they first met over ice cream, their first date had been a cake shop. How many times had they shared snacks together? How many times had Kyoko bought him a special treat for the holidays or any random day just because? How many times had she let him spread sweet, fluffy cream over her most sensitive areas and let him lick it off? Knowing this only made overeating that much more tempting, that much more easy to indulge in. Shizuo just couldn't understand why Kyoko was avoiding him; he wouldn't have felt the need to drown his sorrows in food in the first place if she wasn't being this way.

Kyoko's turned to face him with furrowed brows. "What? Is that why-?"

"I'm sure it hasn't been pretty, how I've been eating everything that hasn't been nailed down." Shizuo's chuckle was hollow. "I know I've put on a few pounds too…"

"No, that's not why!" Kyoko insisted; she felt close to tears at what she hadn't bothered to notice all this time.

"Then why…?" Shizuo clutched at the blankets, refusing to let her see his hurt. "Why won't you touch me?"

"Oh Shizuo." Kyoko whimpered and clenched her hands together. _"I have to tell him now."_

"I'm so sorry, I should've realized-" Kyoko bit her lip, her shoulders shaking in fear; she didn't want this to even be brought up, she could feel her hands tremble as she felt her stomach lurch. "But it's not what you think."

Shizuo just stared at her in confusion, waiting for her to speak up. He had never seen her look so scared.

"Shizuo, I missed my period last month and I thought maybe it was just a fluke, but then I missed it again." Kyoko's lips trembled; she didn't want to tell him, not yet. She agonized every day how she would do it, but the words just wouldn't come . "I-I went to the clinic today to get a pregnancy test; I won't get the results for a week or so, but-"

She stopped as Shizuo stood up and walked over to her; he took her by her shoulders and made her look him dead in the eyes. "Are you serious?"

Kyoko nodded her head weakly. "I kept trying to put off having sex to make sure it wasn't what I thought, but then after the second month I started feeling queasy and I know I should've said something sooner, I just didn't want to make you mad-Shizuo!?"

Shizuo had dropped to his knees, half naked on the floor in front of her, his hands resting on her waist lightly. Kyoko was still as Shizuo lifted up her shirt; he trailed one hand over the exposed skin.

"Holy shit...Kyoko, I don't even know...thank you." Shizuo smiled up at her before pressing his face into her stomach with a sigh

Kyoko felt her whole body relax in his hold and laughed. "So, you're not upset I take it?" she asked with a cheeky grin; to her shock, Shizuo began muttering, his attention still on her tummy, gazing at it almost in wonder.

"Hey, it's daddy." Shizuo whispered lowly into her stomach; he poked just above the belly button. "Daddy's so happy mommy doesn't think he's a fat slob. Daddy should've known better, your mommy's too nice."

If anyone walked in on them right now, they'd be treated to a very strange sight. Shizuo seemed absolutely unfazed by Kyoko's growing confusion; he just kept mumbling to her stomach.

"Can you hear me? Kick if you can hear me, okay? Be careful you don't hurt mommy's tummy though."

"Um, Shizuo," Kyoko interrupted quietly. "I don't know if I'm actually pregnant yet..."

"Hm? Oh yeah, sure babe." Shizuo said distractedly; a second later he shot up in the air with a crazed look in his eye. "Kyoko, what the hell are you doing?!"

"What?!" Kyoko looked around wildly; Shizuo picked her up swiftly and lowered her onto the bed.

"You're not supposed to be on your feet for too long, it's bad for the baby!" Shizuo said sternly; he yanked the blankets over her; after some consideration, he loosened the constricting sheets and put an extra pillow under the small of her back. He nodded in satisfaction. "There."

"Right…Shizuo, did you listen to anything I said past me telling you I missed my period?"

"Well yeah, but you missed it twice in a row and you've been feeling queasy!" Shizuo laughed loudly. "It all makes sense! Aw Kyoko, why didn't you tell me sooner- Shit, I've been eating everything!" Shizuo ran to the fridge, leaving Kyoko to mull over the turn this situation had taken.

"Babe I'm sorry." Shizuo came back looking depressed. "You're eating for two now, and I've been taking most of the food."

"Shizuo. I'm not pregnant."

"You don't know for sure!" Shizuo retorted; he smiled widely. "I've gotta tell Tom and Celty! And Kasuka! Ha, I gotta see his face when he finds out he's gonna be an uncle!"

Kyoko gave him with a bemused smile. "You shouldn't say anything until we know for sure. Wait until we get the results; if they're positive, you can tell whoever you want."

"Okay." Shizuo laid down next to her, eyeing her stomach, already imagining it big and round.

"I feel better now that I told you." Kyoko snuggled up to him with a coy smile, one of her hands trailing up his chest to cup his face. "I feel really good…"

"Kyoko we can't! What if I get too rough and hurt the baby?" Shizuo told her; Kyoko wanted to smack herself.

Still, there was something that was just wonderful about waking up to Shizuo's peaceful face, his arm slung around her belly just as it had been before she fell asleep.


	47. Results

"Ah!"

Kyoko fell flat on her face as soon as she entered the apartment; a large cardboard box was lying right in front of the threshold.

"Shit, sorry, I forgot I left that there!" Shizuo picked her up effortlessly. "Are you okay?"

Kyoko winced. "Yeah I'm-"

Shizuo had knelt down and put his hands on her stomach, lifting up her shirt.

"I'm sorry little guy. You're not even here yet and I almost killed you." Shizuo patted her stomach softly with an apologetic smile. "Or should I say girl? Kyoko, when can we find out the results?"

 _"He's finally snapped…"_ Kyoko watched as Shizuo blew a raspberry on her belly button.

"Hey, do you have any name ideas yet?" Shizuo asked. "I was thinking we should get that baby name book from the drug store. I read it once when I was buying your girl stuff, and a few of them sounded pretty nice."

"Shizuo, I already told you-" Kyoko began tiredly, but Shizuo jumped up to kiss her cheek suddenly.

"Hold on babe, I got a surprise for the two of you." Shizuo grinned. "Check it out."

He proudly presented her with the cardboard box; there was a picture of an adorable baby in a playpen. Shizuo and the photo baby smiled up at her expectantly.

"It was half price at the second hand shop! I was gonna pick out some toys, but I heard some of those aren't safe depending on how old the baby is." Shizuo's broad smile grew even wider suddenly. "Heh, I wonder if they can play with me and Kasuka's old toys? I broke most of mine, but the baby toys should still be-"

"Shizuo." Kyoko sighed. "I already told you, I may not actually be pregnant."

Shizuo frowned. "Don't say that outloud!" he told her in a hushed tone, as if afraid someone was listening. "You're gonna jinx it!"

Kyoko stared at him blankly. "I don't think that's how that works…"

"Babe, you're just feeling a bit sick, that can happen during the first two months."

"How do you know that?"

Shizuo shrugged. "I've been doing some research."

"Oh." Kyoko smiled slightly. "Look, I know you're excited and you just want to help, but-"

Shizuo pressed a finger to her lips with a gentle smile. "Babe, trust me, it's better to prepare sooner than later. Seven months will go by just like that." he sighed and held her close. "Before you know it you'll be in the hospital giving birth to our baby. Hm," Shizuo paused. "Should we take those-what's it called? Lamez classes?"

"Lamaze." Kyoko answered.

Shizuo nodded. "Yeah that."

Kyoko frowned sadly as he kissed her tummy. "Shizuo, listen to me."

"What?" Shizuo rose up again; he looked so happy, she almost didn't want to press the subject, but she knew they needed to talk about it today. She was worried he might start remodeling their bedroom to fit a crib any day now.

"I get the results tomorrow." Kyoko said slowly. "Shizuo, what if it shows I'm not pregnant?"

"Well, that's okay."

"It is?" Kyoko asked with a bewildered expression; he seemed so happy about it. Was he that sure it would be positive?  
"Yep. We can just try for real if it's not." Shizuo laughed softly, planting a wet kiss on her neck. Kyoko didn't feel any pleasure from his usual warm touches. Shizuo seemed completely oblivious as he smirked and cupped her face. "Shouldn't be too hard, right?"

"What if I don't want to?!"

Shizuo nearly jumped back at her outburst, but Kyoko didn't care; she couldn't take this anymore.

"What?"

"Shizuo, I'm really glad that you're taking this so well, but I don't…" Kyoko sighed and tried to calm down; she pulled away from him and sat on the couch. "Look, if we end up having a baby, then we have the baby. But if the test is negative, then I don't think we should try for one on purpose."

"Come on, you're kidding right?" Shizuo chuckled weakly; he sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulder. "Kyoko, it's okay to be nervous. We'll be good parents-"

"We can barely afford this apartment half the time!" Kyoko said in frustration. "You don't get it, with your salary regularly being cut and me having to pay for most of the bills, how the heck do you expect us to afford child care, diapers, extra food, clothes, and health expenses for another person?! There's more to having a baby than just buying a playpen and giving it some hand me down toys!"

Kyoko immediately felt a stab of guilt at Shizuo's expression.

"Shizuo-"

"Is that what you think?" he asked quietly. "That I'm a bum that can't provide for us?"

"No, of course not!" Kyoko took his hands, trying to make him look at her; he wouldn't budge. "I'm sorry, I know you can't help it, but the job you have is only helping out with our expenses now. I'm sure we'd be able to get by, but having a baby now would just be plain irresponsible."

Shizuo stared at her solemnly as if she had punched him in the face. "Are you saying if you are pregnant, you're going to get rid of it?"

"No!" Kyoko told him. "I mean, it's one thing if we have the baby, but it's another if the result is negative and we try for one. Hell, our apartment is just big enough for the two of us and you still have problems not destroying property every other week. We're not in a good position to take care of another person."

Shizuo leaned against her. "I guess you're right, but...I want to have a baby with you someday if not now. You deserve a real family."

"Is that what this has been about?" Kyoko asked carefully; Shizuo shrugged.

"I want a kid myself, but I also want you to know what it's like to have a family that doesn't screw you over." Shizuo said. "I thought it would make us both happy, but I didn't think of how much would change once we became parents. It wouldn't be smart to have one, at least not in our current situation."

"Thank you for understanding Shizuo." Kyoko kissed him sweetly. "You're going to make the best daddy."

"Yeah?" Shizuo grinned. "I'll take back the stuff, but promise you'll be careful until tomorrow." he put a hand tenderly on her belly. "Just to be safe."

Kyoko put hers over his with a bright grin, marveling that these words were coming from a man who gave regular death threats to strangers.

"Okay, okay."

The next day Kyoko had come back from the clinic, papers in hand; Shizuo was waiting on the edge of his seat as she smiled at him sadly.

"Negative."

Shizuo's shoulders slumped a bit. "Are they sure?"

"Yeah." Kyoko nodded.

Shizuo thought for a moment. "But what about you missing your time of the month?"

"It was a fluke. It happens sometimes, but it could be for any reason; diet change, stress, weight gain or loss, even missing taking my pills."

"Oh."

"I really am sorry." Kyoko gave him a bear hug. "I know you're disappointed, but this doesn't mean we'll never have kids. Just not for a while." Kyoko grinned and kissed him softly. "Not until we get our shit together."

"You're definitely my wife." Shizuo tugged her down on his lap. "I guess I went kinda went overboard. I was just so sure about it."

"Shizuo, you didn't tell anyone I was actually pregnant right?"

"..."

"You bragged to your brother didn't you?" Kyoko rolled her eyes; talk about sibling rivalry.

"No." Shizuo grumbled. "I wouldn't jump the gun like that."

"Okay, sorry for doubting you." Kyoko snuggled into his chest, happy they were able to deal with the situation. Shizuo ran his hands through her hair absently, once again glad she couldn't read his mind.

 _"But I was going to…"_


	48. All They Wanted

**Author's Note: Graphic sexual content!**

"Shit." Shizuo cursed quietly as he looked at his alarm clock; the numbers seemed to bleep almost urgently at him. He managed to pry himself from the warmth of his bed knowing he only had so long to meet up with Tom; Kyoko was still laying there peacefully with a little smile. She was the reason he had stayed in bed longer than he meant to that morning.

"Shizuo, you shouldn't just leave me right after." Kyoko gave him a playful pout as he zipped up his pants and threw on his least rumpled shirt; he made a mental note to do the laundry tomorrow.

"Sorry, but I gotta go soon." Shizuo knew she was just teasing, but he did feel a tiny bit bad; he hated to have sex with her and leave afterward. There was nothing quite like cuddling when they were done, skin on skin and their labored breaths growing calm; it was a different sort of intimacy to lie together boneless and comfortable in their afterglow.

Shizuo splashed water on his face to wake him up; he was drying himself with a towel when he came face to face with his wife still lying on the bed, but with one significant change.

The sheets had somehow slipped away.

"Kyoko," Shizuo gulped at the display, watched as she slid down the bed, her legs parted slightly and knees bent upward; she looked at him innocently.

"What?"

"You should cover up…" Shizuo coughed as her fingers went between her legs; she was still glistening from earlier. "You might, uh, catch a cold or something…"

"It's too hot."

Kyoko smiled coyly as she spread her legs a bit wider; there were small bruises on her thighs where he had sucked too hard, but at the moment he didn't feel an ounce of guilt. All Shizuo could feel was a twitch in his pants as Kyoko began to lightly rub her clit; the heat pooling in his stomach grew hotter when she sighed softly, the exact same sound she made when he touched her that way.

"Kyoko?" Shizuo asked uncertainly; he licked his suddenly dry lips as she moaned softly in response.

"Shizuo, I don't want you to go yet…" Kyoko's voice was like music, a siren's call. Shizuo inwardly groaned in frustration and want; why did she have to do this now when he was actually trying to be responsible? Kyoko spread her legs a bit farther, two fingers slipping in with no resistance; his cum seeped out of her the farther she pushed in. Shizuo unconsciously clenched his hands, imagining them grabbing her ass and pulling her onto him to give her exactly what she wanted.

"No, I can't." Shizuo shook his head and struggled to find his wallet and phone while Kyoko frowned.

"Shizuo!" she whined. "You're my husband aren't you?"

"We just did it, I need to go to work soon." Shizuo insisted, his eyes fixed on her chest; the nipples were pert and pink, just begging to be sucked and licked and nibbled on until they were red and swollen. _"Babe don't do this to me."_

Kyoko gave him a sad look tinged with lust; she knew he needed to go, but she was aching for one more round. "But I need it."

"We can do it later alright?" Shizuo tried not to glance between her brazenly parted legs; the bite marks on her chest and collarbone called out to him. Suddenly, there didn't seem to be enough; he should really make a few more, maybe this time make them higher, more visible. Just a few more on her thighs too and her stomach and-

"Kyoko, I'm leaving, okay?" Shizuo cursed himself; it sounded more like he was asking her permission; she wasn't listening either way, legs still framing his prize, what was being offered on a silver platter.

Shizuo ran a hand down his face; he was completely hard now, and Kyoko was too stubborn to give up.

"You always say no to me about stuff." Kyoko said with a mock sad tone. "Just one more time won't hurt."

"You never pushed it before." Shizuo answered dully; his shirt wasn't even buttoned. He knew he was fighting a lost battle. "Dammit, Kyoko."

"Huh?" Kyoko blinked as Shizuo stomped over to her with a low growl.

"You just have to push it." Shizuo told her as he yanked her legs, pulling her to the edge of the bed; he unzipped his pants and pulled his erection out, the tip flushed and leaking as it rubbed against her sensitive folds. He huffed as the tip slide in slightly.

Kyoko tossed her head to the side and moaned. "Shizuo, just put it in me. I'm all ready, I just want-"

"Shut up." Shizuo ordered gruffly; he trailed one hand down her neck, between her breast and down her stomach to wiggle his pointer finger against her swollen clit. "You just keep making me lose it."

"AAAH!" Kyoko screamed as he rubbed her clit roughly, biting the inside of her leg as softly as he could. "Oh god!"

Shizuo couldn't help feeling a bit irritated, even as the gorgeous sight of her unraveling under him, reacting to his every touch; not that he could blame her completely, she wasn't forcing him. On the contrary, Kyoko was too nice to actually demand anything of him, aside from being more careful with their furniture.

She didn't realize the power she had over him, though Shizuo would doubt she would abuse it. If Kyoko was the kind of person who craved power or a subservient dog of him, he would have smelled the ill intent and had nothing to do with her in the first place.

"That's it." Shizuo purred as Kyoko held the sheets tightly in her fingers, her hips convulsing at he continued his ruthless assault on every sensitive areas of her body. "Fuck, you're gonna make me late for work."

"I'm sorry." Kyoko said softly; she tried to rub against him, but he pulled away just out of her reach.

"No you're not. Look at you, how desperate you are." Shizuo said contemplatively; he carefully pinched one of her nipples between two of his fingers. "All for me? You want me that bad?"

"Yes!" Kyoko's answer was so immediate, but it really shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did. Kyoko made no secret of how much she enjoyed being with him, but it was still hard to wrap his head around, that this was his reality. "Shizuo please! I need it, please?!"

He smiled softly as she cried out for him; he was inside her in one thrust. "Who could say no to that face."

Kyoko felt the cold metal of his zipper rub lightly against her as he moved in and out, every thrust making her tighten up and wet. Shizuo was sure she was making a stain on the front of his pants, his shirt sticking to his back from sweat, but he honestly couldn't give a shit at this point.

The truth was, Shizuo could never say no to something she really wanted from him; maybe it was partially out of fear of rejection or losing her love, or maybe it was a less selfish motive, maybe he simply enjoyed being able to please her. It didn't really matter, either way wouldn't change the fact that if Kyoko really wanted to, she could have him at her beck and call. He wasn't sure where he would draw the line, but Shizuo was grateful she wouldn't make him find out.

Shizuo slipped in and out of Kyoko slowly, just reveling in her heat, how easy it was to penetrate her and touch her in ways that would make her clench around him in a vice grip.

He wanted to make her feel good, better than any man ever would should she leave him. He wanted to stay inside her, in their bed; he didn't want to go to that cold city where people stared at him in fear or went out of their way to stare at him for the same reason; they thought he was a monster, a thug, a freak. Shizuo hated it, but if he stayed there with Kyoko, he wouldn't ever have to deal with it again. It was a stupid idea, cause Tom was kind enough to give him a chance and it would be selfish to put all the financial responsibility on his wife. What kind of husband would he be then?

"Shizuo, Shizuo, Shizuo!" Kyoko moaned breathlessly as she wrapped her legs around him; he was rutting against her like an animal, trying to control his voice. They didn't need the neighbors filing any complaints. "Harder, deeper!" she begged; Shizuo smirked and did just as she asked.

 _"Yeah, guess you could say I'm whipped, but who gives a shit when I get sex on tap whenever I want?"_ Shizuo could hardly believe his good fortune; he was grateful Kyoko was so sexually open, god knows it would've taken him forever to move past kissing if left to his own devices.

The best part wasn't even getting off; it was the motions, the closeness, the sounds they made intermingling and answering each others as they moved, that made Shizuo loose it; climaxing was just the cherry on top of the sundae.

"I wish you could be inside me all the time." Kyoko whispered longingly and whimpered as he ground himself into her. "I love it so much. Keep going Shizuo, keep going! Ah, ah, aaah!"

Shizuo had firmly decided nothing could compare to the feelings only Kyoko managed to bring out from him; some days all he wanted was to just be consumed until they were in their own little world. When the world was particularly shitty to him and he felt particularly shitty himself, Shizuo wanted nothing else but to just crawl in bed and live inside her, burrow himself in her and never come out; he would be warm and safe and go to sleep knowing he'd wake up to someone who wouldn't flinch at his voice or if he tried to do so much as touch their shoulder.

"Oh fuck." Shizuo breathed; he was so close, but he didn't want it to end, schedule be damned. Fuck work, fuck obligations, fuck everything.

And her.

He would fuck her until either she passed out or he dropped; either one sounded pretty damn good.

"It's okay Shizuo, I want to feel your cum in me again!" Kyoko gasped, trying weakly to push back, but she could hardly keep up with him; all she could do was keep her legs up and cling to whatever she could.

There was something amazing about being touched after already having sex. She didn't care about coming, she just wanted to feel more of the sensation of being filled up, the slight burn, because they had already done it so many times, and she was going to be sore, but it was a good kind of pain. It reminded her of him and she felt a tingle go through her every time she felt it. Shizuo honestly thought that was a bit crazy, but it didn't slow him down; he seemed almost reluctantly turned on by it, but he'd be damned if he wasn't opening up more and more to the idea.

Shizuo chomped down on her shoulder, her neck, the skin of her upper arm, anywhere he could reach, marking her with an enthusiasm he was just beginning to embrace. He still wasn't completely okay with the thought of hurting her, but he didn't feel as bad if she got turned on by it; he would never draw blood though, not since-

 _"Never again babe."_ Shizuo thought as he mounted her, raising her hips up a bit. _"Only good stuff from now on, only the stuff you want."_

He knew he would do anything if she asked him point blank; he would be anything she wanted, a lover, a friend, a guard dog even; he would hate himself, but if it made her love him more, if it made it so her happiness was secure, he might even kill somebody. Only if they were a threat though; he wasn't that bad. He just wanted to be a good husband.

"Kyoko, it's so fucking good!" Shizuo groaned and listened intently to the slick noises she made as he rammed into her; Kyoko squealed as he pushed his thumb into her over sensitive clit, the nub wet and perked up against the rough pad of skin. "You begged me for this; who knew I'd be marrying such a insatiable woman?" Shizuo chuckled brokenly as he tried unsuccessfully to muffle his cries as she nipped his neck.

"Then satisfy me." Kyoko pulled him down closer and licked his ear with the tip of her tongue, her breath coming out in pants now.

"You-" Shizuo tensed up; it snuck up on him, his shaft throbbing. Kyoko gasped at the hot sensation; he held her so tightly as he came inside her, moaning brokenly. When the tremors left him, he was still deep inside her, not making a move to budge as he tried to catch his breath; Kyoko smiled lazily, running fingers through his damp hair, loving the feeling of his cum slowly sliding out.

"K-Kyoko." Shizuo groaned and fell back just as soon as he tried to get up. "I can take the day off."

"What? You don't have to do that!" Kyoko's relaxed expression immediately went to worried. "I don't want you to lose your job."

"One day; I have some sick days left and I don't think I'll be able to move much." Shizuo sighed and laughed. "Christ, I think my back is actually sore. You're gonna be the death of me, you know that?"

Kyoko frowned feeling a bit guilty; she really hadn't meant for him to take the whole day off. She just wanted him to be there, just a little longer.

"Hey." Shizuo said sternly. "Don't give me that look. One day isn't gonna get me fired. I'll work overtime if I have to." he gently pulled out, not without some difficulty; she was clamping down on him, still just as hot and tight. Shizuo wanted to laugh in disbelief at himself for feeling a bit of arousal so soon after climaxing. Not that Kyoko seemed to mind in the slightest; she smiled up at him softly. Once Shizuo scooted up on the bed, shedding his clothes and tossing them who knows where, their limbs were entangled under the damp sheets. Kyoko quickly reached over to the bedside table and took one of her contraceptive pills; Shizuo eyed it guiltily.

"Sorry, I should've used a condom. I know they're expensive; next time I'll get the ribbed ones to make up for it."

"It feels amazing though, right?" Kyoko giggled and kissed his cheek. "It's worth it for sex like this!"

"It always feels amazing."

Kyoko felt her heart skip a beat at the earnest expression on Shizuo's face; she wondered if he realized that he had already given her everything she wanted.


	49. Merch

**Author's Note: Kudos to anyone who knows the anime reference!**

"Kyoko, what's this?"

Shizuo cocked his head to the side as he studied the plush toy in his hand; it dangled from a looped string, which he thought was a bit odd for a toy. Maybe it was some sort of ornament, but it looked like a doll; in fact, it looked a bit familiar. Shizuo's suspicions were raised when the doll was suddenly snatched out of his hands.

"The heck?" Shizuo frowned slightly; Kyoko was smiling awkwardly as she held the doll close to her.

"Um, it's just a….ah-" Kyoko's struggle was cut off by Shizuo's bemused chuckle.

"Look, it's no skin off my bones if you have childhood keepsakes. It's kinda cute actually." Shizuo reached over and patted Kyoko's head; to his confusion, she still looked a bit uneasy.

"The thing is, it's not a toy. I mean it is, but…"

"What?"

"Well, you know how I told you Erika and Walker were hitting a convention last week?"

"No."

Kyoko rolled her eyes lightly; Shizuo made no secret that he didn't particularly care for some of her choices in friends, not that he'd butt in, as long as they made her happy, he'd tolerate them; regardless, he really couldn't care less what two harebrained otakus were up to when unsupervised by Kadota.

"Anyway...Erika bought me a souvenir."

Shizuo stared blankly; Kyoko clutched the doll self consciously.

"This is a plush doll version of my favorite anime character." Kyoko explained feeling her cheeks heat up slightly.

Shizuo peered at the toy a bit more closely; the doll was the miniature of a guy with black hair, a blue school uniform, and grey eyes. The stoic expression on the cutesy doll was making him remember something…

"Ah, he's that guy from that shojo anime you like." Shizuo scratched his head. "The one where the other guy joins a host club...no, wait, he's actually a girl, right?"

Kyoko smiled bashfully. "Yeah, that one. I know it's pretty weird, that's why I sort of hid it away…"

Shizuo shook his head. "Hey come on, I'm not gonna judge ya for what you like. Just don't start living in a fantasy world like those two nutjobs."

"Thanks for understanding!" Kyoko gave him a quick hug before going back to their room. "I'm gonna go find a nice spot to hang up Mori-chan!"

Shizuo chuckled in amusement as he resumed cleaning their crowded closet.

The next day, Shizuo woke up next to Kyoko's side and wrapped an arm around her loosely, eyes still glued shut, fighting against waking up from the warm bed. Kyoko yawned and rolled over to kiss his chin.

"Morning Shizuo."

"Morning Kyo-uh, what are you doing?" Shizuo looked down at her chest; Kyoko was holding the doll with a smile.

"Kissing you silly." Kyoko giggled; she hopped out of bed and placed Mori-chan carefully down on her dresser. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Kay." Shizuo laid back down and shrugged. _"Well, girls like cuddling plush toys, it's not weird or anything."_

He neglected to remind himself that this toy was the doll form of a handsome and cool character from a show that Kyoko had been holding very tightly to her chest all night.

 _"Whatever. It's just a dumb doll."_ Shizuo firmly turned away from the dresser.

Two weeks later, Shizuo had concluded that he had made a huge mistake. Despite Kyoko's claims, Mori-chan had never been hung up somewhere; on the contrary, that doll went nearly everywhere Kyoko went.

 _"Okay, maybe not everywhere, but she hangs onto it whenever she's here and then sleeps with it."_ Shizuo resisted the urge to yank away the plush doll from Kyoko's arm as she settled down next to him on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. She munched on the snack while holding Mori-chan in her lap, her eyes glued to the screen. Shizuo thought for a moment and smiled slyly; he put an arm over Kyoko's shoulders and began kissing her neck softly.

"Shizuo!" Kyoko's laugh turned into a moan as he began pushing her down onto the couch slowly; Shizuo opened one eye discreetly and 'accidentally' knocked the doll onto the floor as he kissed his wife.

"Shizuo, be careful!" Kyoko gasped and scrambled out from under Shizuo to scoop up the doll. "You might get Mori-chan dirty!" she reprimanded as she placed it on the coffee table with a relieved smile.

Shizuo grunted and sat up; it was a real accident when his knee knocked over his cup of soda, the liquid spilling out over the table's surface while Kyoko shrieked and saved Mori-chan from his impending doom.

"Hey, I just said be careful!"

Shizuo was mopping up the mess with paper towels as Kyoko fretfully checked the doll over for any stains. This whole thing was just getting out of hand in his opinion; how unfair was it that he was getting scolded for almost leaving a tiny stain on some stupid anime merchandise?

"Who cares? It's just a friggin' toy." Shizuo huffed as he tossed away the soaked paper towels; he felt a pit grow in his stomach as Kyoko glared at him reproachfully.

"It's not just a toy!"

"Yeah, it is." Shizuo retorted; he reached for Mori-chan, but Kyoko held it against her protectively. Shizuo glared at it and made a grab for the doll. "Look, it's just a dumb doll made of cloth and cotton!"

This statement was proven true as Mori-chan's head was ripped off at the seams with barely any effort on Shizuo's part, the fluffy stuffing exploding out as Shizuo held the head with a dumbfounded expression.

"You…" Kyoko looked down at the toy in horror. "You ruined it!"

Shizuo didn't bother to flinch as she snatched the head away from his limp hand and fled to their room in tears.

"Fuck."

Two hours later, Kyoko still held the ripped up doll in her hands desolately as she was sitting down on the bed; even if she managed to have it sewed up, it still wouldn't look right. It'd look more like some gothic, bishonen parody of Frankenstein's monster toy than anything else. Kyoko bit her lip to prevent more tears from escaping; she knew it was childish to cry over a stuffed doll, but-

"Babe?"

Shizuo knocked on the door tentatively. "Babe, I'm coming in."

He opened the door without waiting for a response; he was smiling and holding something behind his back. Kyoko turned away from him stubbornly.

"Shizuo, you can't solve every problem with cake."

"I got you a surprise." Shizuo grinned. "And it's not cake."

He presented her with a brand new Mori-chan; it looked exactly the same as the old one, just not decapitated. Shizuo eagerly pushed the plushie into her lap. "See, it's the same one!"

Shizuo blinked as Kyoko got up and walked silently to the bathroom; she closed the door, only opening it briefly to toss the doll at the side of his head, and slam it back shut. To keep himself from ripping the door off of it's hinges, Shizuo breathed in deeply and tore off the new doll's head.

And legs.

And arms.

And basically whatever was left.

"Kyoko," Shizuo sighed. "Cut me some slack, I'm trying here. At least come out and talk to me about it."

Kyoko slowly opened the door and came out. Shizuo felt the pit residing in his stomach grow; while she had forgone her angry scowl, now she just looked sad.

"Shizuo, maybe to you it's just a toy, but it meant a lot to me." Kyoko said. "Would it have killed you to be a bit more careful?"

"Babe, I didn't mean to rip it." Shizuo insisted. "I just got kinda pissed off. I mean, you're so damn protective of it, and you carry it with you everywhere, and you snuggle it every night and do you have to hold it to your chest?!" he was pacing back and forth while Kyoko just watched on. "I mean, I know it's your favorite character, and it's a plush toy, and they're made to be soft and huggable and all that shit, but do you really have to hold it that tightly? It's not like I'm even threatened or anything, cause it's just a toy and the character isn't even real, so why do I feel like I'm competing against anything, and stop interrogating me dammit!"

Kyoko blinked. "You were jealous of the doll?"

"No!"

Beat.

"Well, you cared more about making sure that thing was okay than doing stuff with me." Shizuo looked away defiantly from Kyoko's perturbed expression as he sat down heavily on the bed, arms crossed and a faint scowl marring his features. Kyoko felt a smile making it's way across her face.

"Oh Shizuo." she sat next to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulder. "You are so sweet."

"Shut up." Shizuo mumbled.

"I mean it. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. Yeah, the doll's my favorite character, but that's because he reminds me of you. I mean, he's not kicking the crap out of people, but other than that, he's pretty similar."

Shizuo glanced at Kyoko from the corner of his eyes. "Really?"

He couldn't help feeling flattered as she nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! He's quiet and really tall and manly, and he's a good person. But that's not the reason it was so important." Kyoko smiled softly. "Erika was kind enough to think about me on her trip and it meant a lot that she remembered me and got me a gift just because." Kyoko frowned slightly. "If you paid any attention when I talk about my friends, maybe you wouldn't have jumped to the conclusion I was having an affair with an inanimate object."

"Oh. I guess I didn't think of it like that." Shizuo suddenly saw Erika in a (slightly) more positive light. "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to actually break it."

"I know you didn't; the last thing you are is vindictive." Kyoko sighed and her expression softened. "It's okay, I mean, you did get me a new one. That was really sweet of you."

"Ah, by the way...I'm sorry I ripped up the new one. I sort of lost it…"

Kyoko kissed his cheek and picked up the remains of both the dolls. "I'll put these away as keepsakes, something to remind me what great people I have in my life."

 _"Yeah, an obsessed, mentally unstable otaku gang member and a raging, paranoid, doll destroying psycho for a husband."_ Shizuo thought wryly; he didn't want to spoil the moment though, not when he had gotten himself back into his wife's good graces.

"Shizuo's what's this?" Kyoko had picked up a smaller container sitting on the dresser where she had put Mori-chan. Shizuo coughed slightly as she peeked inside at the slice of strawberry shortcake with a wry smile.

"Yeah, that was my backup plan…."


	50. Closest Thing to Closure

Shizuo opened the front door and as soon as he saw who had been primly knocking, scowled.

"What the heck do you want lady?"

"My name is Kaede Yoshida, and you will address me in a respectful manner." Kyoko's mother narrowed her eyes as she took in Shizuo's profile with distaste. "Where is my daughter?"

"She still at work." Shizuo was about to close the door but Kaede managed to slip in past him.

"How rude, you're ready to slam the door in your elder's face? I am still Kyoko's mother and I have urgent business with her."

Shizuo's scowl deepened. "Oh yeah? What, are you here to give her more shit for not being a doctor or something?"

Kaede brushed a stray hair from her brow. "Not that it's any business of yours, but Kyoko's great aunt Kana passed away two days ago. She made Kyoko the sole beneficiary of her funds, minus the house and antiques she left to her children, and requested I deliver this check to Kyoko personally." Kaede looked at Shizuo with a patronizing smile. "Excuse me, am I talking too fast for your neanderthal mind to comprehend?"

"You got some nerve talking to me in my own damn home like that." Shizuo grit out. "If you weren't Kyoko's mother-"

"Oh, I'm well aware of what you'd do." Kaede cut him off. "I did some research on you and regardless of any abnormal feats you can perform, I will not be intimidated by a brutish thug such as yourself."

Shizuo smirked. "Heh, don't tell me you're the one Kyoko got her guts from? Well, it doesn't matter, just get out and leave the damn note in the mailbox or something."

Kaede's eyebrow twitched. "Kana-san insisted in her will that I personally give her this letter. Perhaps familial duty is something a person like you wouldn't understand, but-"

"Don't stand there and give me some bullshit speech about how I don't understand what family is." Shizuo growled. "I caused trouble for my family and they still stuck by me; all Kyoko ever wanted was to make you and her shitty excuse for a father happy. You two fucked up as parents, so don't you fucking dare talk down to me!" his fists clenched as he tried to control his rage boiling to the surface and threatening to kick someone's ass all the way to Shinjuku. "Kyoko had to deal with you two and she still turned out to be a fucking angel, so if you give her any shit when she comes home, I'm throwing you out, mother-in-law or not!"

"So, she did marry you." Kaede frowned. Shizuo nodded defiantly.

"Yeah she did. I'm her husband, and if you do anything to make her cry, I don't care who you are or what your damn staus is, you're gonna pay!"

To Shizuo's surprise, Kaede had no snarky or scathing remark. She had gone silent, staring at him with an unfathomable expression; whatever she might have said next was interrupted as Kyoko appeared around the still open doorway.

"Mother?" Kyoko's voice held no anger or bitterness, just confusion. "What are you doing here?"

"Your great aunt passed away and she told me specifically to bring your this check and a letter of farewell." Kaede's tone was clipped and professional as she handed over the envelope; this wasn't a surprise to Kyoko, but Shizuo's was glaring daggers into the back of the older woman's head.

"I-I see…" The last thing Kyoko wanted was to start crying in front of her mother; she took the envelope and bit her lip slightly. "Well, thank you for respecting her wishes and bringing this to me."

"I'm willing to excuse your…'husband' neglecting to offer me a seat. It seems there isn't any suitable furniture to let a dog rest on. Of course, you would know." Kaede said dully; Kyoko stepped in befroe Shizuo could make anymore threats.

"I'm not going to have this argument with you again mother." Kyoko told her calmly.

Kaede shook her head. "Do you realize how many people only wish they had the same resources and opportunities to enter the field of medicine that I and your father have provided for you? You could've been successful, but you threw it away, and for what? To give shots to disease ridden beasts and marry this lout?"

Kyoko steady gaze never wavered. "I do realize that mother, and I am grateful. I just never wanted it. I'm happy now and I will be even more so once you leave and stop insulting my husband."

Shizuo felt a chill go down his spine at the coldness in his wife's tone; Kaede seemed a bit affected as well and made her way to the open door.

"I still stand by what I said earlier. You had the talent to become a successful professional in the field of modern medicine, whatever your views to the contrary." Kaede paused and turned to face Shizuo directly. "Furthermore, my daughter deserves better than you."

To both Kyoko and her mother's slight shock, Shizuo smiled, albeit wryly.

"Yeah? Well, we agree on that much."

With one last piercing stare, Kaede took her leave and Kyoko closed the door with a sigh.

"Jesus." Kyoko smiled wearily at Shizuo. "Wow, that's the nicest thing she's ever said. Sorry about that, was she here long?"

"No." Shizuo scooped Kyoko up in his arms and cradled her close. "I'm really sorry Kyoko. I don't even know what to say."

"It's okay Shizuo." Kyoko assured him. "Me and my family have known for a long time my great aunt would be passing away soon. I'm sad, but I've sort of been preparing myself for it, you know?"

"Maybe, but she was still the only person in your family who isn't a total dick." Shizuo said gruffly. "Oh yeah, she left you all her funds or something."

"Huh!?" Kyoko looked up at him with wide eyes. "Did my mother say that?!"

"Uh yeah. Why?"

Kyoko carefully opened the envelope and began reading the letter with shaky hands as Shizuo sat her down with him on their couch; tears began to well up in her eyes and Shizuo wrapped an arm around her shoulders protectively.

"I-I'm okay." Kyoko smiled weakly, still looking somewhat stunned. "She left us $50,000. Oh my god." Kyoko gasped and continued to read the letter, laughing slightly. "She said she 'figures we'll need it for new furniture, lol.' I can't believe it…"

Shizuo just stared blankly. "Holy shit. Well, I feel better about telling you I broke the toilet seat."

"Shizuo, again?"


	51. Omake: Their First Time

**Author's Note: This is just a detailed chapter on Shizuo and Kyoko's first time having sex. I was too nervous too actually write it in explicit terms, but I felt like it left something missing. Enjoy!**

Smash, hit, crush, destroy, pulverize, punch, kick, break, demolish, kill.

These are the words and thoughts that ran through Shizuo Heiwajima's head periodically throughout the day since he was a kid.

Not that he liked it.

Did people really believe he _wanted_ to have those thoughts? Did they think he _enjoyed_ the way people avoided him? Didn't _anyone_ think he might just want to be left in peace instead of being forced to succumb to his anger and trash any person who was foolish or unlucky enough to incur his wrath? Did it _ever_ cross the minds of these people who saw him as a freak that he'd be grateful to accidentally brush against someone in the street and not have them flinch or nearly trip over their feet trying to stay out of his way?

Shizuo figured not, but with his reputation, he didn't particularly blame them, and he sure as hell didn't blame the people who had the misfortune of him lashing out on them for stupid, nonsensical reasons. It's not like he radiated this image of a peaceful person; at best, he was quiet and a bit awkward. At worst…

"Shizuo?"

Kyoko was staring up at him with concerned eyes; Shizuo could never say for sure, but he knows they're at least one of the things that first caught his attention. They weren't especially big or dark or shiny, not more than any other person's, but they had a way of gripping his heart and pulling him in. Just like now.

"Shizuo, do you still want to do this?" Kyoko touched his chin, fingers tracing over the jawline tenderly. "You look a bit out of it."

Shizuo exhaled (when was he holding his breath?) and shook his head. "I'm okay. Are you sure?"

"Definitely!" Kyoko chirped, she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him closer to continue kissing. Both of them had long since stripped their clothes, but they had decided to take it slow and start off with their usual level of physical intimacy. Kissing, light petting, Shizuo painstakingly inserting one finger after another inside her, biting back a groan at how wet she was and wishing he didn't have to use a condom. Kyoko had said he could enter her without it, but he'd have to put one on right after; she wanted to really feel him the first time they-

"Kyoko?!" Shizuo gasped as she massaged his erection through his boxers. He couldn't bring himself to take them off just yet, even with Kyoko completely naked.

"Shizuo," she cooed as she nibbled the rim of his ear as she lightly tugged at the fabric. "We can't get started unless these are gone."

Shizuo pulled back as Kyoko sat up in the bed; he wished they could have done this in a nicer setting, even a love motel would be better than his dingy mattress lying on his dusty floor in his shitty half destroyed apartment. Kyoko didn't seem to care, but Shizuo did; not that it would slow him down; still, that wasn't what was really bothering him.

Without a word Shizuo pulled down his boxer, tossing them on the floor carelessly, waiting for Kyoko's reaction.

 _"She looks freaked out. Shit, does it look weird or something?!"_

Shizuo got ready to pull his underwear back on. "Kyoko?"

"Wow. I mean, seriously." Kyoko was studying it now almost curiously. "I hope it can fit."

"Do….do you like it?"

Kyoko laughed softly; without answering his question, she crawled over to where he stood at the edge of the bed, one hand gently grasping his member and guiding it to her mouth.

"Oh shit." Shizuo gasped as Kyoko's tongue caressed the underside as she sucked, trying to fit in as much as she could. "Y-you don't have to babe."

Secretly he wanted to beg her not to stop; Kyoko just smiled up at him, which must not have been easy to do with her mouth preoccupied at the moment. Shizuo struggled to keep his thighs from closing around her head, one hand fisting her hair. As Kyoko's teeth grazed him ever so slightly, Shizuo threw his head back with a throaty moan and thrusted inside her mouth, causing Kyoko top let out a muffled cry.

"Oh shit! Kyoko, are you okay?!" Shizuo asked as Kyoko drew back quickly with a cough; she smiled weakly and nodded.

"I'm fine, just choked a bit. My jaw kinda hurts…"

Shizuo sat down on the bed next to her, erection bobbing as he moved. "Babe, I think we should stop."

"What?!" Kyoko asked in disbelief. "Why?"

Shizuo ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "It's just going to hurt. It won't be any good for you."

"If we're careful, it won't hurt." Kyoko assured him gently. "Please Shizuo, don't shut me out. I want this." Kyoko pushed his legs apart and nestled in between them, face resting against his chest; his heartbeat was quick and Kyoko pressed her ear closer to hear better. "I love you and I trust you. I want you to be my first time."

Shizuo couldn't find it in himself to argue despite his lingering worries; how could he when the first person to truly love him was asking for _him,_ wanting _him_? Kyoko had laid back on the bed, the back of her head resting against the lumpy pillow, hair already a bit mussed from Shizuo's hands running through it.

"I'll be careful." Shizuo lifted her thighs up to his hips. "Just relax, okay babe?"

Kyoko nodded, biting back a comment how he was more tense than her; it was heartwarming how much he was taking her into consideration, but she really only understood so much. It wasn't just his fear of hurting her that made Shizuo nerve wracked.

He just didn't want to screw this up. For years he had become accustomed to the idea that no one would ever let him this close, that he would ever feel this pleasure, this wonderful, spine tingling sensation that came from another person touching his most private areas, seeing him at his most vulnerable and letting him see them in the same way. Especially not this gorgeous, nice, patient woman who thought so much of him, who had managed to get him wrapped around her finger and gave him just as much devotion in return, who actually wanted him to touch her in such as way. This level of safety and trust was something to be cherished, not ruined by his carelessness and lack of self restraint.

"I'm gonna go in now. I'll go slow."

Kyoko nodded and kept her arms draped around his broad shoulders, already perspiring with sweat. "Okay." she took a calming breath as she felt the tip of Shizuo's erection push into her. "Oh god."

"Babe?" Shizuo stopped as soon as she made a sound; Kyoko chuckled softly. He really was too sweet.

"I'm okay Shizuo, it just feels like a burning sensation." Kyoko kissed him chastely. "Keep going." she began softly petting his hair, fingers combing through the dry locks as she spread her thighs a bit more. Shizuo began to push in, inch by inch, his breath hitching as she squeezed down on him halfway.

"Oh shit. Kyoko, you're killing me here." Shizuo's hands were shaking as they gripped her legs lightly.

"Sorry."

Both of them moaned as Kyoko pushed her hips up until her was all the way inside, the stretch stinging a bit. "Ah! Don't move yet."

"Okay." Shizuo huffed, his forehead resting against her shoulder as he waited for her to adjust. _"So soft. It's so soft inside…"_

It briefly occurred to Shizuo that with how hard he was, it might bruise her; it was just that soft, it felt vulnerable, and it almost seemed unnatural sex could feel good when Kyoko was being driven into with his throbbing member, but to his delight, Kyoko was beginning to rock her hips against his experimentally.

"Oh yes!" Kyoko called out when Shizuo pushed back; he pulled out painfully slow, leaving Kyoko to stare up at him pleadingly as he quickly slipped on a condom. Shizuo nearly slammed back into her when she impatiently wrapped her legs tightly around him to pull him in close.

"Babe, don't, I might hurt you." Shizuo told her; Kyoko pouted up at him and wiggled her hips.

"But it feels good having you inside me…"

Shizuo bit his lip and groaned. "Don't talk like that or I'll fuckin' lose it." he practically clawed at the sheets as he began rocking his hips, erection aching for more friction despite the loss of heat from putting on the condom. Kyoko seemed to feel the same way with how she was whimpering and pushing right back against him.

 _"It's not enough."_ Shizuo realized. _"Okay, I'll go a bit harder, but I can't get carried away. Can't hurt her...have to make her feel good, better than anyone else."_

Shizuo leaned forward as he began thrusting a bit faster, going in deeper from the new angle; Kyoko's head pressed back against the pillows, her mouth open in a silent scream as she scratched at Shizuo's shoulders. He watched closely for any signs of pain.

"Yes, yes!" Kyoko's breasts were bouncing slightly as they moved together, stomach tightening up as heat pooled there. Shizuo placed one hand one her breast and massaged gently while Kyoko sucked at his collarbone. Their bodies were molded against each other at this point, light sheens of sweat on both their skins; Shizuo's body was stiff, but he tried to make his motions more fluid.

"Kyoko!" he began moving a bit more rougher, just a tiny bit, just enough to make Kyoko move farther up the bed; he felt a sudden warmness in his hand. Kyoko was looking at him through hazy eyes, locking their hands together with a tiny smile as she panted.

"L-love you."

It felt good, too good. Shizuo grit his teeth as the pleasure began reaching it's peak, wishing he could tear off the condom and fill her up with his cum.

 _"Only me."_ Shizuo was sliding his body up against Kyoko's, groaning softly into her shoulder. _"Soft and wet for me….just for me…"_

It would feel so hot and amazing, sliding out of her, marking her, maybe he'd even get her pregnant.

Shizuo gasped; he could feel his own cum spurting inside the condom, feel his whole body tense up and then suddenly relax as his muscles gave out on him; Kyoko just held ontop him tightly, her hand stroking up and down his back as he came down from his high. Kyoko yelped as he slumped against her, his limp member still deep inside her.

"I-I'm sorry." Shizuo said, voice heavy and low. "You didn't-"

"Yay." Kyoko cheered softly.

They both stared at each other for a second before bursting into laughter.

"What?" Shizuo asked as he relaxed against her; he tried to push away the thoughts he was having just before his climax. Kyoko grinned goofily.

"I'm happy I made you feel good." Kyoko looked almost shy as she pecked his forehead; Shizuo shook his head with a sigh, but kissed her back tenderly.

"Are you okay?" Kyoko asked softly after a minute of silence. "You're shaking."

"Just tired." Shizuo replied; his limbs felt so heavy, but he wasn't quite ready to fall asleep. "Was it still okay for you? Did you feel any pain?"

Kyoko shook her head and yawned. "No, just sleepy."

"Go to sleep babe."

"Mhm." Kyoko mumbled, her eyelids getting heavier and her breathing steady; she sighed in contentment as Shizuo stroked her hair. "Thank you Shizuo, I love you."

"I..love you too."

Shizuo felt his heart swell and his fingers tremble; he wanted to hold her tight, but she looked so worn out, he couldn't disturb her. Shizuo could feel himself smiling broadly, madly as Kyoko unconsciously leaned into his touch.

She really trusted him. He had taken her, his first ever, and she had liked it and he could feel his skin tingling with the need to embrace her. He was struck with anxiety that threatened to overwhelm him otherwise; he needed it again, the touch of someone who loved him.

 _"My first time-no, our first time."_ Shizuo felt downright giddy as he gazed down at his girlfriend, but still felt antsy. He couldn't wait for Kyoko to wake up again, so he could touch and feel as much as he wanted of her smooth skin and her hands that touched him in all the right places where he thought another person would be disgusted to go near. _"Again….I want it again."_

No, know wasn't the right time, when Kyoko was ready; he could be patient just for her and when they made love again, he'd make sure she would be satisfied, would feel his emotions in every kiss and caress.

 _"Making love. Wow."_ Shizuo rested his head in one hand as he watched Kyoko dozing, staring at her in slight wonder. He had barely allowed himself to even dream of such a thing happening and now his fantasy was real, really real, and Kyoko was right there sleeping peacefully and not regretting it, not running away. _"It really happened and I didn't hurt her."_

Kyoko was out cold now, her body limp and prone as Shizuo raked his eyes over every curve and inch of her.

"I love you so much." Shizuo whispered as he laid down next to Kyoko.

He'd be able to show her how much as soon as she woke up.


	52. Violence was (Sort of) the Answer

"Look, I'm just saying, not everyone deserves a punch to the face." Kyoko explained; Shizuo looked at her skeptically.

"What if they punch me first? Or stab me? Or shoot me?"

Kyoko looked at him strangely. "Walk away. I mean, just one of your punches could probably put someone in a coma."

"Yeah, I know." Shizuo moved the lollipop stick he was sucking from the right to the left side of his mouth. "It's not like I like doing it….you know I can't control it completely still…"

Kyoko gave him sad smile. "I know, but it seems like when it comes to me you have no problem kicking people's asses. I don't want you to do that at all, much less for me."

Shizuo scoffed. "Come on babe, what if some guy tries to hurt you? Are you tellin' me you don't want me to beat the crap out of them?"

"Well, I'd want you to stop them of course," Kyoko pursed her lips in thought. "But I don't want you to go overboard. Let me give you an example: say someone broke into our house. What would you do?"

"Put my foot up their ass."

Shizuo stared at Kyoko blankly as she frowned. "What?"

"Shizuo, just toss them out. Not that anyone would be stupid enough to try to rob us." Kyoko conceded. "Well, how about this-?"

"Hey!"

Both of them turned around at the sudden interruption; a young man had stepped out from the alley way they had just passed by. He was holding a small kitchen knife, the kind that would probably be swiped from his mother's pantry; his hands were shaking slightly.

"Give me your money or else." the man threatened with a harsh voice; Kyoko stood rigid as Shizuo slowly took the lollipop stick out of his mouth.

"Oh boy…" she looked between the mugger and her husband; the stranger had his attention completely on Shizuo now, and he was staring as if he was trying to remember something.

"...blonde…"

Shizuo broke the stick in half.

"Bartender...suit…"

He tossed it nonchalantly to the pavement and ground his foot on top of it.

The mugger felt the knife slip from his hands. "You-you're Shi-?!"

"AAAH!"

The mugger was sent head first into the nearest trash can, the metal slamming against the nearby building as the young man slowly sank to the ground next to it with a low groan.

"Kyoko?"

"Huh?" Kyoko let out a deep breath and lowered her leg; Shizuo was frozen in a lunging position.

"...the hell was that?"

"What?" Kyoko asked him innocently; Shizuo wanted to laugh; there was nothing innocent about the way she had just kicked out three of that guy's teeth. They were lying right there on the dirty sidewalk, not too far away from the attempted muggers prone form. Shizuo was pretty sure he was knocked out cold.

"That!" Shizuo looked between his wife and the unconscious thug with wide eyes. "Where did that come from?!"

"Oh." Kyoko grinned proudly. "I learned that from one of Kasuka's movies. Pretty cool huh?"

"Yeah."

Kyoko peered closely at Shizuo; his sunglasses hid his eyes well enough, but she knew his overall posture when he wasn't feeling normal. Well, normal for him.

"Shizuo?"

"It's getting late." Shizuo began to turn around. "We should get home before we run into any other bullshit."

"...okay."

Kyoko kept glancing over at her husband as they made the short journey home; Shizuo was pretty quiet by nature. Usually Kyoko did more than enough talking for the both of them, but he was never this silent unless something bad had happened; his shoulders were loose, but his legs were rigid as he strode forward and she could tell he wasn't really even paying attention to where they were going.

"Shizuo, are you upset about that mugger?" Kyoko asked later that night; Shizuo was laying on his side on their bed, his back facing her. "Don't worry about it, nothing happened right? Everything's fine."

Shizuo seemed completely unaffected by her encouraging words. "Yeah, I know."

Kyoko frowned in confusion. "Then what's got you so down?"

Instead of answering her question, Shizuo almost seemed to curl in on himself in reply; Kyoko stared worriedly at his back.

"Shizuo, please," Kyoko said gently; she tentatively placed a hand on his own, still lying limply on the pillow. "You have to tell me what's wrong."

"I'm sorry Kyoko."

"Shizuo-"

"I'm sure you're sick of hearing it by now, but it seems like it's all i can say to you half the time." Shizuo continued lowly. "I'm sorry I didn't protect you, but I'm even more sorry that I wish you hadn't kicked that prick."

Kyoko felt his hand tightened over hers ever so slightly; he was always so careful, even with little touches. "Shizuo, I don't understand…"

He kept his back to her. "I wanted it to be me. I have all this power, unlimited strength and when I finally had the chance to use it, you didn't even need me." Shizuo buried his face farther into the side of his pillow. "Instead of being happy and proud of you, I'm disappointed cause…"

Kyoko heard him gulp and sigh heavily.

"It's so fuckin' stupid." he mumbled; Kyoko slowly laid down next to him, hands still intertwined loosely.

"What? Tell me." Kyoko nuzzled the back of his neck; she needed to know. She loved him so much. What could she do to make him feel okay again?

Shizuo reluctantly turned around, but he wouldn't look her in the eye. "I wanted to be your hero. I wanted to swoop in and save you with my power. This stupid, useless power that's given me nothing but trouble." Shizuo smiled bitterly. "I wanted to use it for you and you don't need me to and it sucks."

Kyoko put a hand to his cheek. "That never mattered to me. Your power is only a small bit of who you are. Of the person I want to spend my life with. There are so many other things that matter and those are the things I need."

Shizuo sighed softly as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"You taught me that I don't have to be something I'm not to get approval." Kyoko told him. "You love me for who I am and that's more than anyone else has ever done."

" _How could I not?"_ Shizuo chuckled as he pulled her into his arms gently. " _How the hell could I have done anything else?"_

"Besides," Kyoko grinned up at him cheekily; Shizuo loved the way it made the corners of her eyes crinkle with mischief. "I was awesome~"

"Well yeah." Shizuo smirked. "You're my wife."


	53. Intentional

**Author's Note: Shizuo is my favorite anime character, and I hope I did him justice in this story. This is the last chapter; enjoy!**

"When do you think she'll wake up?"

"Soon. The anesthesia should be worn off in a few hours." Shinra sighed heavily and smiled. "It's a good thing Shizuo didn't panic and brought her here. Any longer and-"

"Shinra," Celty cut him off. "I don't like this. Are you sure you don't know where Shizuo went?"

"No." Shinra began putting away his tools; Celty turned away as he washed off a blood stained scalpel in the sink next to where Kyoko laid under a white sheet. "He barely said anything; he just told me-what was it? 'Take care of her or else Celty will have another soul to ferry into the underworld.' Haha, that was a new one."

"Be serious."

"I am. It was pretty weird though. Shizuo didn't even seem that angry." Shinra felt a shudder go through him at the look in Shizuo's eyes as he uttered those words and left the apartment without even glancing at Kyoko. But his tone wasn't hostile; it was as flat and dull as his eyes. "Celty, where are you going?"

"I'm going to find that idiot and bring him back here. I won't be long, I think I know where he might be." Celty firmly set her helmet over her neck and walked outside.

The day had started like any other; it could've happened any time, on any regular day in their lives.

There was a car, a speeding car that ran through the red light and nearly ran right into Kyoko, who Shizuo managed to pull away just in time; the car skidded and slammed into a stop sign. The driver jumped out from the car and began pointing fingers at Shizuo and Kyoko, ranting for the whole block to here about whether they knew how much that car had costs and that somebody owed him money.

Kyoko tried to placate the situation calmly, but the driver rounded on her. His screaming escalalted and he called her names that made Shizuo's fists curl; before he could even think about it, he stomped over to the bent sign and yanked it from the ground; the driver saw Shizuo's swing and dove to the ground to dodge.

Kyoko's back was turned and Shizuo was blind with rage.

It was only in the second that she was sent slamming into a parked car on the other side of the street did the fog lift and suddenly the world was in focus.

Kyoko was knocked out cold. The side of her shirt was slashed open and seeping blood.

Without a word, Shizuo picked her up and kicked cars and people out of the way to get to Shinra and Celty's apartment.

As soon as the surgery was over and Shinra told him Kyoko was going to be okay, he left.

Shizuo took a drag from his cigarette; most people agreed that the Black Rider's motorcycle had no engine and as a result made no sound wherever it went. Even so, Shizuo could sense there was someone just a little bit behind him, and they knew him well enough to keep a little bit of distance as they approached him.

Celty rested her arms on the rooftops gate and looked out over the horizon; night had fallen and Celty was almost invisible. Shizuo wished she hadn't come there.

"Shizuo, are you okay?" the bright screen lit up his face; Celty could clearly see how red his eyes and suddenly felt embarrassed for having seen it. Shizuo just looked away and inhaled more smoke silently.

"Shinra said she should be up in a couple of hours."

"Good."

"I'm just going to ask. Why did you leave?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Shizuo reached into his shirt pocket for a plastic baggie, but when he couldn't find it, tossed the cigarette to the ground in frustration. "She doesn't like it when I smoke and now I'm doing it while she's laying in that place half dead. I'm a great fucking husband, aren't I?"

"It was an accident-"

"It's always a fucking accident!" Shizuo snapped at Celty and banged his fist into the top of the gate; the metal pole snapped right in half and Celty almost lost her balance. "I mess up and it's somebody else who pays for it; if I swung it just a bit harder-!"

"Do you think abandoning Kyoko will make it better?!" Celty typed rapidly, her fingers trembling at Shizuo's scowl. "She loves you, she'll forgive you."

"I should have never….I never should have gotten involved with her." Shizuo told Celty firmly. "I knew this would happen at some point. I knew it and I still…"

"She's your wife. Don't you think there's a better way to do this? What about what Kyoko wants?"

"She'll be okay. After a while, she'll see. She'll see how better off she is." Shizuo smiled a bit to the thought of Kyoko no longer being burdened by his fits of anger, by his shady profession; he fooled himself when it came to her, because he wanted so badly for someone to love him.

"And what about you?"

"That doesn't matter. If Kyoko can live a peaceful life, then I'll be fine."

"After five years, don't you think it would take more than this? Shizuo, at least come back with me. If this is how you want to end things, than Kyoko should hear it from you. It's the least you could do for her." Celty knew it was a cheap shot, but she knew using Shizuo's guilt was the only way she could get him to comply.

"Oh you brought him back!" Shinra nearly dropped his mug of tea in surprise. "Kyoko woke up a few minutes ago; she was asking for Shizu-"

"Shut up Shinra. I'm going."

"Celty?" Shinra whispered as the door to the guest room was closed gently. "Is he…?"

"I don't know." Celty slowly lowered her PDA to her side; all they could do was give them their privacy and see what happened.

Shizuo didn't move any more than a few inches from the door to Kyoko's room; she was awake, her eyes barely opened. Despite how tired she felt, she smiled as Shizuo locked eyes with her and waved her hand for him to come over.

Shizuo did so, dragging his feet on the floor and assuming a look of stoic acceptance. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay. Shinra said the stitches could be removed in a couple of months or so; he's going to give me some good pain medication in the meantime." Kyoko pursed her lips in thought. "Of course, that makes me a bit worried how and where he got them from…"

"This is my fault."

"Oh Shizuo, don't. It was an accident, and that guy looked like he was ready tp punch me or something; you were just trying to help." Kyoko told him sadly; she could already see where this was going. She dreaded the day Shizuo unintentionally gave her a serious injury; truthfully, she had been mentally preparing counter arguments to his arguments that he was dangerous and she should have never gotten so close to him; Kyoko already expected Shizuo's warnings that he knew this day would happen and how she deserved a better man for her husband.

"Kyoko, don't leave."

"Huh?" Kyoko rose up from the bed as far as she could with her eyebrows raised to her hairline.

"I'm sorry...I wanted to do the responsible thing so badly." Shizuo chuckled bitterly as he kneeled at your bedside. "Kyoko, I know you think highly of me, even if I don't fully see why, I'm not stupid. I knew you would forgive me and I knew you'd love me no matter what I did. I know the best thing for you in the long run would be never seeing me again, because chances are, this shit will end up happening again. But I-" he sucked in a shaky breath and chuckled again. "God I'm such a fucking coward. I'm so selfish; I can't do it Kyoko, I can't let you go. Even with this near death incident, even knowing what I'm capable of, I still can't go through with it."

"But I don't want to leave you. I never want to be without you Shizuo, it's not a bad thing to want to be with someone you love."

"It is when you know the danger you're aware of how badly you can hurt them, but even that's not enough for me to man up and let you move on." Shizuo told Kyoko; one of his hands reached out timidly for hers. "Dammit...I'm sorry Kyoko. It may have been an accident that we met or some shit, but it's not just by chance that we've stayed together. I want to believe that; even if I can't ever completely change, I want us to stay together for as long as possible."

Kyoko stared sadly and gripped his hand weakly. "I don't look at it that way at all; maybe the risks are a bit more...extreme? But there's a chance I'd be hurt no matter who I'm in a relationship with."

"I bet another guy wouldn't almost kill you."

"Maybe." Kyoko shrugged. "But still, do you honestly think I'd just let you leave me? I'm not going to give you up just like that you know. I may not have any powers or connections, but you shouldn't underestimate a woman in love."

Shizuo sighed in frustration. "Babe, you're killing me here. At least get pissed."

"Oh I'm pissed. If this ever does happen again, you better be here when I wake up!" Kyoko pouted and pulled on Shizuo's ear. "Are you going to pull this crap when I have the baby?!"

"What?"

"What?"

"You said…" Shizuo let go of her hand and felt dizzy. "Are you actually?"

"Oh yeah. I just found out last week. Don't freak out! You really only grazed my side, so the baby should be just fine."

Shizuo leaned over and kissed her quickly. "They aren't even born yet, and I almost killed them."

Kyoko petted the dry locks as tears soaked into her patient shirt. _"Shizuo…"_

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Shizuo croaked out. "If I had known-goddammit!"

"Shizuo, you need to stop thinking of what might happen or what has happened." Kyoko cupped his face and made him look at her. "You need to think of what's going on right now. Right now I'm alive, I'll feel better soon, and I'm pregnant with our child. I need you with me right now."

Shizuo swallowed the lump in his throat. "What is it about you that makes me crazy? Heh, and when did you start sounding so cool anyhow?"

"You make me want to be more than anything I've ever been. Shizuo, because of you I've been able to know what it means to love somebody. I don't think I've ever loved or been loved by anyone before you; no matter what we've gone through, I'd like to think I'm becoming a better person thanks to you."

Kyoko kissed his forehead and put his hand against her stomach. "Now we have another reason to change for the better."

 **One Year Later:**

"Shizuo!" Kyoko whined and put a pillow to her ear. "It's your turn."

"Alright, alright." Shizuo grumbled and got up from the bed to their baby screeching in her cradle; Kyoko was somewhat regretting her suggestion to put it right in their own room, but Shizuo was adamant about having their daughter nearby just in case.

"Keiko, stop crying, mommy needs sleep for work tomorrow." Shizuo yawned and picked up Keiko with a sleepy half smile; while Kyoko's inheritance made the option for at home childcare available, they both wanted to take care of Keiko at least until she was in preschool. Shizuo worked out a schedule with Tom, who was more than happy his kohai was spending his time doing other things besides moping or nearly killing people.

"Eh, mommy's up anyway." Kyoko yawned and rubbed her eyes and she turned to watch Shizuo rock Keiko back and forth; it was a heartwarming sight to see him be so gentle with a teeny tiny baby, but the shrieking sort of threw off the moment. "Shizuo, smell her diaper, I think that's poopy crying."

"Are you going to just keep calling it that?" Shizuo took a quick sniff and grimaced. "Yep, needs a change."

Kyoko dragged herself from the bed. "My turn for that. Oh, she's calming down a bit."

"Good girl, give mommy a second to get your diapers, okay?" Shizuo held Keiko as close as he could to his chest without squishing her; Kyoko remembered how terrified he was to hold her when she was first born and cleaned up, but the second Shizuo had her nestled in his arms, it had taken the doctors nearly half an hour to get him to let her go so they could run tests.

A few minutes later Keiko was changed and fast asleep with a little gurgle; Kyoko giggled silently and wiped off the spit with a napkin before laying back down. Shizuo pulled her to him with a sigh.

"Tired huh?"

"Not really. Hey, Kyoko?"

"Hm?" she was already falling asleep, exhausted from being woken up periodically at night. "But it's worth it...it's all been so worth it."

"Are you happy?"

"Yes." Kyoko told him softly as she listened to Keiko's soft breathing. "You two have made me so happy….thanks for giving me a family Shizuo. Are you happy?"

"Yeah." Shizuo pressed his face into Kyoko's hair; he hoped Keiko grew up to be just as beautiful and kind as she was, and hopefully she'd never feel lonely. "I hope we'll be good parents."

"We'll be okay….we love each other, so that's a pretty good start right?" Kyoko smiled as she held Shizuo's hand tightly. "Keiko will always have us, and we'll always have each other." she kissed the rough palm of his hand. "I love you Shizuo."

"I love you too. Kyoko?"

"Hm?"

"Thanks for loving me."

"Thanks for letting me."

A piercing scream started them from their brief nap.

"Your turn babe."

"Yeah, I know." Kyoko stretched and took Keiko in her arms as Shizuo watched them with a warm smile. _"Still worth it."_


End file.
